I have cancer, probably terminal. [Archive] - Page 2

Gina Stevenson

18th July 2007, 09:23 PM (21:23)

And I see in the news today the results of an extensive, 7-year study that says dietary changes don't really make a difference in the likelihood of cancer recurring or killing, so, more and more, it sounds like my life will only be significantly extended by a miracle. Of course, I'll keep grasping at dietary/supplement straws "just in case" and to make my family and friends feel better that I'm "fighting it" rather than resigning myself ....

Yes! How "extensive" this study really was, well ............. and then there are variables, such as people eating the "same things," yet their not really being "the same things," considering the soils in which they were grown (some depleted, some not), etc, etc.

Hey! If diet didn't enter in, with our body having only what we put into it to work with (tho' some environmental factors do exist), then we might as well eat what fantastically suits our taste buds only ... but, we do know that's not the case.

Soooo, with that said (held back a few other things ;)), glad to see/hear you're going to keep eatin healthily ... would hate to see you give that up, and then not know if such a sustained effort "would've worked," tho' it wasn't given the chance to work.

blessings & {{{ hugs }}}, Bro

Brad Mercer

18th July 2007, 09:27 PM (21:27)

My impression from what I've read is that it has been proven that diet can to some extent increase or reduce our chances of contracting cancer in the first place, but there seems to be little or no proof yet that diet can cure or prevent recurrence of cancer once contracted (although there are certainly lots of people who are fervently convinced that it can, based on anecdotal personal testimonies).

Of course, when you like beans and greens as much as I do, and the doctor's already told you you're going to die, there's not much to lose in pursuing such a diet as long as I can maintain a minimally healthy weight without fat or sugar
Brad

Yes! How "extensive" this study really was, well ............. and then there are variables, such as people eating the "same things," yet their not really being "the same things," considering the soils in which they were grown (some depleted, some not), etc, etc.

Hey! If diet didn't enter in, with our body having only what we put into it to work with (tho' some environmental factors do exist), then we might as well eat what fantastically suits our taste buds only ... but, we do know that's not the case.

Soooo, with that said (held back a few other things ;)), glad to see/hear you're going to keep eatin healthily ... would hate to see you give that up, and then not know if such a sustained effort "would've worked," tho' it wasn't given the chance to work.

blessings & {{{ hugs }}}, Bro

Belinda Y. Edwards

19th July 2007, 09:10 PM (21:10)

Brad's medical fund is approaching $11,000! It is just $30 short of that figure as I write this. The goal of $21,000 is in reach!

If you want to help, you can do so via PayPal. The exchange rate is in favor of the USA.

http://choosing2live.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=14&Itemid=1

i am, personally, waiting for another paycheck. Changing positions/jobs has resulted in a shortfall...

Just posting to say, that some are still waiting but planning on sending monies. Don't be discouraged.

Ian Gentles

19th July 2007, 11:24 PM (23:24)

Brad Mercer

20th July 2007, 12:43 AM (00:43)

Cant sugar be sublimented?

I'm doing one recommended diet and planning to switch to another one after the chemo ends. One thing they agree on is that I should have no sweetener of any kind, natural or artificial, except a natural sweetener called stevia, which isn't really much of a sweetener. It does sweeten a little and doesn't have the nasty taste all artificial sweeteners do, so it's palatable if inadequate.

Of course, none of my doctors think it makes a bit of difference in the world. They insist my body would still get the same exact sugar if I ate nothing at all. It would simply process it from my own body tissue, muscle, organs, whatever was available. Still, I'm giving it a shot.

The diet after chemo promises dramatic results in two months, so I'll follow it religiously and if it doesn't deliver, probably worry less about diet after that. I'll just do what the doctors think is best, and depend on God to do as he wishes. At least those are my thoughts today.

Brad

Carsten Schermuly

20th July 2007, 01:46 PM (13:46)

Do it like she did.
The love of the Lord will overcome all trouble.

First part of the Newsletter, came today

PRAISES:

Becky Morsch

This week Becky Morsch completed the last step in her recovery and reconstruction following cancer. She is grateful for God’s healing touch and your many prayers. Dr. Morsch is speaking in deputation services while waiting for her work permit for Papua New Guinea.

Enjoy - and sing to the Lord's glory and honour.

He has already the end of your pain prepared!

Brian Blankenship

20th July 2007, 03:06 PM (15:06)

I believe I went to Trevecca with Becky Morsch.

Mike Wooldridge

20th July 2007, 03:19 PM (15:19)

I believe I went to Trevecca with Becky Morsch.

I knew both Becky and Gary at SNU. The last I knew they were running Gary's foundation. I hadn't heard of Becky's cancer and I didn't know Gary was in PNG. Does anyone have more information about them?

Belinda Y. Edwards

20th July 2007, 04:44 PM (16:44)

Gary was my dr....

WOW - what a flash of memories - -

i would trust anything that Gary would endorse.

Brad Mercer

20th July 2007, 08:18 PM (20:18)

White House Press Secretary Tony Snow, like me, has colon cancer that has metastasized to another organ. He has an amazing, wonderful essay in the current issue of Christianity Today. I couldn't have said it better myself.

http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2007/july/25.30.html

If you or someone you know has a potentially terminal disease, this is worth reading. Several times.

Brad

Ian Gentles

24th July 2007, 03:24 PM (15:24)

How are you today mate, 24th?

Brad Mercer

24th July 2007, 03:36 PM (15:36)

How are you today mate, 24th?

At 5'10" or 5'11" in height, I had lost from a normal weight of 160 pounds down to 127 at one point. after the hospital got me back up to 145, I got home and dropped back down to 134 before going on a crash diet to gain weight as a medical imperative. I've now gotten back up above 150 as of this past weekend. In addition, the doctor poked around on my belly yesterday and said my liver is continuing to shrink which means the cancer is continuing to shrink in response to the chemo. I'll have another set of CT scans in two weeks that'll show him more specifically and he'll then decide how many more chemo sessions to do.

All in all, between the weight gain and the liver shrinkage, he said yesterday that I showed "a heck of a lot of improvement" and pronounced himself "very pleased".

So, I may in his opinion still be dying, but I'm dying slower. I'll settle for that until the miracle comes.

As far as how I actually feel, I'm working a full day every day but chemo day. I still feel week and tired and need to force my body to do practically anything, but other than that no problems. I need to start trying to do more walking and start using dumbbells to build up my muscle strength again.

Thanks for asking.

Brad

Ian Gentles

24th July 2007, 04:10 PM (16:10)

At 5'10" or 5'11" in height, I had lost from a normal weight of 160 pounds down to 127 at one point. after the hospital got me back up to 145, I got home and dropped back down to 134 before going on a crash diet to gain weight as a medical imperative. I've now gotten back up above 150 as of this past weekend. In addition, the doctor poked around on my belly yesterday and said my liver is continuing to shrink which means the cancer is continuing to shrink in response to the chemo. I'll have another set of CT scans in two weeks that'll show him more specifically and he'll then decide how many more chemo sessions to do.

All in all, between the weight gain and the liver shrinkage, he said yesterday that I showed "a heck of a lot of improvement" and pronounced himself "very pleased".

So, I may in his opinion still be dying, but I'm dying slower. I'll settle for that until the miracle comes.

As far as how I actually feel, I'm working a full day every day but chemo day. I still feel week and tired and need to force my body to do practically anything, but other than that no problems. I need to start trying to do more walking and start using dumbbells to build up my muscle strength again.

Thanks for asking.

Brad

Sounds good mate, we want to keep ya here for some time to come.

Brad Mercer

3rd August 2007, 01:32 AM (01:32)

Suddenly I'm just really emotionally tired. I'd appreciate your prayers.

I'm tired of needing miracles and not seeing any. I'm tired of new obstacles arising faster than old ones are overcome on the road to our dreams. I'm tired of needing money. I'm tired of feeling like nothing that's important to me is within my control. I'm tired of thinking about the impact of my death on the people I love. I'm tired of making what surely seem like noble, pure, unselfish decisions and feeling kicked in the teeth for it. And I recognize that feeling means my decisions aren't quite as unconditional as I'd like them to be. I'm tired of fighting my own perception of the perception of some others that somehow it's my fault that I got cancer and will be my fault if it kills me, because I didn't eat or avoid eating some magic food or something. I'm just tired.

We got a call today that they're going to cut off this scheduled six-month round of chemo now (4-8 weeks early) because we can't pay all the bills. It probably doesn't make a difference of more than a very few months in my life expectancy, which isn't a huge deal to me at this point anyway, but it just suddenly, for this moment at least, leaves me feeling very tired.

I'd love a miraculous, complete, instant healing, but a great God moment of just about any sort would be really nice about now.

Brad

Hans Deventer

3rd August 2007, 01:39 AM (01:39)

Suddenly I'm just really emotionally tired. I'd appreciate your prayers.

You got 'm.

Father, I want your name to be glorified in Brad's life. I believe that is a prayer according to your will, and I believe You will do that.
I also pray for a special touch for him today. Fill him with your presence, Lord!

In Jesus name,
Amen

Brian Blankenship

3rd August 2007, 02:31 AM (02:31)

Brad, praying for you that the Lord will encourage your heart today, and that you may have His strength. His strength is made perfect in our weakness. Also praying that the Lord will show me how to pray for you!

This reminds me of what my mentor Milt Wieneke said to me years ago about the book of Job. He said, Brian, the book of Job is not about a man's faith in God. Its really about God's faith in a man, that no matter what happens, he would stay true to the Lord. And in heaven, God bragged to Satan about Job. I imagine that the Lord is in heaven saying, I know Brad's struggling, but I know he loves me. I know He needs encouragement. And just when he needs it, I will send His grace.

Grace they say is God's unmerited favor. And while that's true, grace is also something very real that God uses when all around me is chaotic, yet, at the very center of my being, the very presence, yes, the very glory of God is there.

II Chronicles 20:12 says, Lord, we are surrounded by this great enemy, and we don't know what to do, but our eyes are on you.

Brad, the Lord has His eyes on you today. He knows you are hurting. And my prayer is that God will send you exactly what you need.

David van Beveren

3rd August 2007, 03:05 AM (03:05)

Brad,

Three weeks ago I lost my friend for 27 years to cancer: 47 years, married, father of four children; beautiful family.
It is, nicely put, unfair!

Thus I feel for the situation of you and your family: It is UNFAIR!
I am praying for you
'... God give me the words...'

Garth Lahana

3rd August 2007, 04:54 AM (04:54)

I am at a loss for words... All I can give you are my prayers Brad, for you and your family through this terribly difficult time in your life(s). I searched God's word for some ecouraging words and found this...

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2 Cor 12:9)

God bless you
Garth

Edith K. Thurmond

3rd August 2007, 09:01 AM (09:01)

.... I'd appreciate your prayers.

Brad

O Father of mercies and God of all comfort, our only help in time of need: We humbly ask you to behold, visit, and relieve your very tired and ill servant, Brad, for whom our prayers are desired. Look upon him with the eyes of your mercy; comfort him with a sense of your goodness; preserve him from the temptations of the enemy; and give him patience during this severe affliction. In your good time, restore him to health, and enable him to continually lead his life in your awe, and to your glory.

Mercifully accept our prayer, O God, and grant to Brad the help of your power, that his sickness may be turned into health, and our sorrow into joy. Be present in your goodness with him today, that his tiredness may be banished and his strength restored; and that, his health being renewed, he may bless your holy Name. Bind his emotions today to the healing balance of your Holy Spirit; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

With love,

Jenny Mitchell

3rd August 2007, 09:53 AM (09:53)

Dear Brad,

It is hard to walk through what some have called "the dark night of the soul." Cancer is a formidable foe, and the emotional drain it can be is not to be dismissed. There are times when fear and doubt stop whispering to us and start shouting. Every ache becomes the cancer spreading/returning, every setback means death is closer to our door, and we worry about our ministries, our churches and our families. And when we don't feel God's presence, it's even harder to take. I remember crying out to God asking why He'd grant me the little things, but not heal me, 2 years ago when I was first diagnosed. I also understand the guilt - some people are very good about making those of us with cancer feel as though it's our fault. The truth is that cancer is a very complex disease, and in most cases, the best doctors can tell us is what will lower our chances. I suspect many of those who blame us for our cancer is because if there's a reason these people can come up with, then they can be sure it won't happen to them. I'm guessing there are even people who think my cancer is a sign of God's disapproval of female pastors! And now I'm frustrated for you, my brother. I'm so glad you posted your need and situation, so we can all pray for you and with you.

Lord, I lift up to you Brad. I pray that you will bind the cancer in his body so that he may continue to serve here, where he blesses so many of us. I pray that you would strengthen and encourage him. Provide the finances that he needs. Free him from the false guilt that goes hand in hand with being a cancer patient. Watch over his family and those who love him. Grant them all grace and strength for today and the days to come. Help him with all side effects and deliver him from all that would weaken him. Hear our prayers on his behalf and allow our faith to carry him when he is weak. Lord, most of all, I ask that you would bless him with a special touch from the Holy Spirit, so that he could experience the joy of basking in your presence. In the name of Jesus. Amen.

Jenny

Marsha Lynn

3rd August 2007, 10:25 AM (10:25)

What to say? Some have indicated a willingness to walk this road for you, but that's not a choice any of us is given. We can only walk alongside you and grieve with you for unfulfilled dreams and evaporating hope. Yet, there are three things that endure -- faith, hope, and love. And after perfect sight eliminates the need for faith and hope, there will still be love.

May the arms of our loving Father wrap you close today and may whispers of hope and faith lift your heart - hope for eternal dwellings when hopes for this life fade away and faith that when the time comes, soon or late, those left behind will discover rich blessing even within the pain.

As you walk this lonely path that none can ever completely share with you, I pray that you will have a special awareness of the one exception to that limitation -- Christ, whose life and ministry (and dreams?) on earth was cut so severely short but who is alive and able to walk beside each of his followers in times of trial.

Marsha

PS: If dying is a sign of failure, we all die guilty, including Jesus Christ. And if feeling forsaken in one's time of greatest need indicates a lack of faith, Jesus is our example again. Yet, He was raised triumphant from the dead and lives today. \0/

Suddenly I'm just really emotionally tired. I'd appreciate your prayers.

I'm tired of needing miracles and not seeing any. I'm tired of new obstacles arising faster than old ones are overcome on the road to our dreams. I'm tired of needing money. I'm tired of feeling like nothing that's important to me is within my control. I'm tired of thinking about the impact of my death on the people I love. I'm tired of making what surely seem like noble, pure, unselfish decisions and feeling kicked in the teeth for it. And I recognize that feeling means my decisions aren't quite as unconditional as I'd like them to be. I'm tired of fighting my own perception of the perception of some others that somehow it's my fault that I got cancer and will be my fault if it kills me, because I didn't eat or avoid eating some magic food or something. I'm just tired.

...

I'd love a miraculous, complete, instant healing, but a great God moment of just about any sort would be really nice about now.

Brad

Dana Grant

3rd August 2007, 01:44 PM (13:44)

Dana Grant

3rd August 2007, 01:49 PM (13:49)

Glenda Harvey

3rd August 2007, 02:35 PM (14:35)

Brad,

I'm praying too. Words are inadequate. I went through the ups and downs with my brother, but no one can completely know what another is experiencing. At this distance thoughts and prayers are all I can give.

Anne and Dwayne Hood

3rd August 2007, 04:51 PM (16:51)

Brad, I could not feel God anywhere during chemo. Can you? They gave me two units of blood, was dehydrated, had pneumonia--on chemo pills 5 1/2 years, until last November--33 radiation treatments-never finished chemo--in hospital two weeks--insurance would pay then for nursing home or rehab--I went home I do understand, and God does, also.
We just got a message about Dwayne's mother. It looks as if we will be leaving for Kingsport, Tennesee tomorrow. She is 91.

Pete Vecchi

3rd August 2007, 05:36 PM (17:36)

I'm praying specifically for a God moment for you, Brad.

Gina Stevenson

3rd August 2007, 10:35 PM (22:35)

Oh, Brad ... I, too, don't really know what to say. But I do know what it's like to go through the emotional ups & downs of someone in your situation. One feels it heavily, yet sometimes feels almost alienated, its not being themselves going through it. Watching is hard, and one wants so to empathize, yet can only sympathize, not being the one going through it personally (while it affects the onlooker's life very much so, too).

So, tho' I don't know the particulars (don't need to) of your feeling as tho' you've been "kicked in the teeth," perhaps it's only someone else's frustration over the whole situation coming out, while trying to deal with it all?

luv'n {{{ hugs }}} to all of you,

Belinda Y. Edwards

3rd August 2007, 10:38 PM (22:38)

Brad?
i don't have words or a prayer for you tonight. Others much more equipped in those areas have preceded me in response to you.

i have a song for you. There were many Saturday mornings - early - just before the dawn of the day - as i pulled into the parking garage of Children's. i would be listening to this song. Knowing that i was pulling into a place where miracles were prayed for, miracles were believed for, miracles were pleaded for - -

i would crank the volume - rattling the concrete walls of that garage - sending the voices vibrating to the highest floor.

With love and prayers - i give the song to you today -

Whispering Hope (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBe4lADkE-c) .

Brad Mercer

4th August 2007, 06:28 PM (18:28)

Well, there might be something to this prayer thing, y'all. Thanks for praying. I posted my "tired" post on Friday afternoon I think. This is my Sunday morning. Saturday I had more strength and energy than I've had in weeks, maybe months. I climbed stairs without effort, I shopped, cooked, walked, got up and down without grunting and groaning. It was almost like being well. Maybe it was being well. Never having had the kind of miracle for which I'm currently praying, I'm not sure how to know when it's happened. At any rate, yesterday was a surprisingly good day, and today feels pretty good, too.

Thank you so much for your love and prayer. And it's kind of cool how many of you are rendered genuinely eloquent by the power of your love. There's some really good stuff from y'all in this thread. You are special, extraordinary people. Sometimes you look and sound just like my Abba Daddy.

Love,
Brad

Laurie Florence

4th August 2007, 06:54 PM (18:54)

Happy Sunday morning, Brad!!!! :) It's so nice to hear you are feeling a better. Will continue to keep you in my prayers.
Blessings,
Laurie

Marsha Gupton

4th August 2007, 09:53 PM (21:53)

I have been debating what to post. Prayers go up for you every day and some days multiple times. If you were here Mother and I would hug you and encircle you in a circle of prayer.

Continuing to pray for many miracles for you.

Marsha Gupton (Nashville, TN)

Marsha Gupton

4th August 2007, 10:08 PM (22:08)

Linda Bechtold

5th August 2007, 11:17 PM (23:17)

Chris and I are fasting and praying for you. I am so glad to hear you are having more energy and strength.

We love you!!!!

Ian Gentles

6th August 2007, 08:00 PM (20:00)

How are you today brother, sixth?

Brad Mercer

7th August 2007, 07:25 AM (07:25)

How are you today brother, sixth?

Today the pharmacy told us we have to come up with $4,085 to pay for chemo we've already received in order to continue receiving treatment. The oncologist said today that finishing this six month round, and going through the next six month round when (not, in his opinion, if) the cancer returns, will probably significantly extend my life expectancy. He's still confident I'll die, but that continuing treatment will make more than a few months' difference.

It doesn't look like I'll be able to afford continuing treatment here. Meanwhile my family has done some work and assures me that Parkland Hospital in Dallas can refer me to M.D. Anderson Hospital in Houston for free treatment there. The oncologist says Anderson is ahead of the cancer research hospitals here.

Meanwhile, since Saturday I've had nearly normal levels of strength and energy for no apparent reason, for the first time in many weeks. And this Thursday I have the next set of CT Scans that they do every two months. It'd be a good time to have a complete miracle confirmed.

Otherwise, I have to find a way to get us all back home, put stuff here back in storage, uproot Jacob and put him in another new school, come up with money to buy out our three mobile phone contracts here, etc., etc.

And leave other people's hopes and dreams dashed in Brisbane.

I feel pretty good and everybody says how great I look, but if I don't get a miracle soon, dying's not going to be a lot less complicated than living. ;-)

But, this day is a good day, God is still God, and love is still enough.

Brad

Ian Gentles

7th August 2007, 07:35 AM (07:35)

Soo sorry about medical costs brother.

Hope move goes smoothly.

Never listen to a doctors prognoses, what do they know?

Glad your doing good, love to all your family!

Jenny Mitchell

7th August 2007, 08:59 AM (08:59)

Dear Brad,

In my devotional today, I encountered this passage that spoke to my heart. May it speak to yours as well.

2 Corinthians 1:8-11

We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts, we felt the sentence of death. But this happened so that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and He will deliver us. On Him we have set our hope that He will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.

With prayers and hope for both of us,
Jenny

Naomi Bias

7th August 2007, 10:24 AM (10:24)

Brad,
Miracles still happen..I am praying for you.

G R 'Scott' Cundiff

7th August 2007, 10:38 AM (10:38)

MD Anderson is an amazing place. If things work out for you to receive treatment there remember that you have friends here in the Houston area.

Jenny Mitchell

7th August 2007, 10:48 AM (10:48)

One of the women at my oncologist's office has been going to MD Anderson for 7 years being treated for stage IV colon cancer. She goes there quarterly but gets her treatments locally. She has been very happy.

Grace and peace,
Jenny

Mike Wooldridge

7th August 2007, 10:51 AM (10:51)

MD Anderson is an amazing place. If things work out for you to receive treatment there remember that you have friends here in the Houston area.
In D/FW, too. I'll be glad to do anything I can if you decide to come here.

Greg Gates

8th August 2007, 11:11 PM (23:11)

Add me to the list of those praying for you.

Ian Gentles

11th August 2007, 02:07 PM (14:07)

Hey Brad mate how ya doing, Saturday 11th, watching any good cricket? With Englands mess think i will give up cricket.

Brad Mercer

13th August 2007, 04:07 AM (04:07)

Hey Brad mate how ya doing, Saturday 11th, watching any good cricket? With Englands mess think i will give up cricket.

Sorry, I only watch sports to be sociable, and I've never been that desperate to be sociable. ;-)

I just now updated my blog and the physical, psychological and spiritual pages at www.choosing2live.com.

Here's what I put on my blog:

I sent the following e-mail to my parents and siblings on the 10th of August, 2007 in response to a plea from my brother to come back to Texas for medical treatment. It seems appropriate to post it here for the rest of you who care about me, as well:

We've decided to stay here in Australia. Karen talked to Charlotte by phone and we had a "family meeting" with Wesley and Jake. We are all agreed.

The doctors here know about M..D. Anderson, what they're doing and what they can do. They've been quite clear that I have a better chance of a literal, supernatural miracle than of a cure, even from some medical breakthrough. I'm either going to get a miracle or I'm going to die. The only difference between treatment and none is a few months. The main advantage to dying there a few months later is that I get to die with you. The main advantage of dying here is that I get to spend the time I have left, doing what God has called me to do, helping as much as I can to get a church established that will make a bigger difference in a couple of years than everything I did with my life previously to planting the church in Frisco.

And if God chooses, as we're praying, to heal me, his miracles are not geographically dependent and it will be easier to stay here than to get back here, because of the financial situation we'd leave behind if we left now, including breaking our lease and phone contracts.

I'm sorry. I love you with my whole heart, but we're staying. We're still working on getting tickets for a 3-week visit during Jake's Christmas break from school. It's not certain we can achieve even that, but I think we can pull it off. Someone has offered enough frequent flyer miles to buy the tickets. We just have to figure out the details of how that's done and when.

In the meantime, I will try a new "alternative" therapy of diet and supplements that claims to cure cancer or dramatically reduce it after two months on the regimen. And Kenneth's magic cancer-curing water should be here sometime during that period, as well.

Love,
Brad

Jean Johnson

13th August 2007, 06:25 PM (18:25)

Dear Brad,

I don't post often, so I'm sure that you're quite unaware that I'm a sister in Christ out here in California who cares very much about your situation and has been in prayer.

As an aside, I have also had a keen interest in North Korea for some time, especially since I lived in South Korea for many years and taught at Korea Nazarene University for a couple of those years. Anyway, this Wednesday I have decided to pray and fast for the opening up of North Korea once again to the Gospel. I have also decided to focus on you and your health situation and the church plant there in Australia on this day.

You are much loved and appreciated, Brad. Your writing about the supremacy of love has truly penetrated my heart.

In Christ,

Jean Johnson

Ian Gentles

15th August 2007, 02:03 PM (14:03)

We all with ya mate, and I am planning to give ya a bad time on here at next Ashes Series, trust me ;)

Tough call about returning home, but i am sure you made the right decision. Keeping on going in ministry is important as you have a purpose.

Love to family mate!

Ian Gentles

19th August 2007, 11:42 AM (11:42)

19th, how ya doing today mate, hopeing all is going good for ya all?

Brad Mercer

19th August 2007, 04:37 PM (16:37)

19th, how ya doing today mate, hopeing all is going good for ya all?

It's been 2-3 weeks since my last chemo session but the effects haven't worn off yet (numb tongue and bottom lip, etc). My most debilitating problem at the moment is, at most, only incidentally related to cancer or chemo, and that's my silly back injury. I've had that for a week now and it leaves me stiff all day and in pain when I roll over or get out of bed during the night.

But I'm still working, writing, doing the things that need to be done. Our services are on Saturday nights now, so I visited a nearby Wesleyan church yesterday (19-08-07). It was nice.

Roland will be pulling up in front of the house at any minute and we'll start a new work week, dreaming and scheming for the future of NewStart-RiverCity all the way to work and back.

God is still good.

Brad

Ian Gentles

19th August 2007, 05:19 PM (17:19)

Sounds great back injuries sure aint fun

Brad Mercer

20th August 2007, 04:48 AM (04:48)

Sounds great back injuries sure aint fun

Yes, in my more cynical moments I think: "Great. A diagnosis of terminal cancer apparently was too good for me." :rolleyes:

Brad

Ian Gentles

20th August 2007, 10:34 AM (10:34)

Yes, in my more cynical moments I think: "Great. A diagnosis of terminal cancer apparently was too good for me." :rolleyes:

Brad

Got ya mate, backs can sure hurt.

Hans Deventer

23rd August 2007, 02:53 AM (02:53)

Brad, weren't you supposed to have a CT scan one of these days? Any news on that?

Brad Mercer

23rd August 2007, 03:47 AM (03:47)

Brad, weren't you supposed to have a CT scan one of these days? Any news on that?

I had the scan. I see the doctor this coming Tuesday, 28 August 2007 so he can tell me what it says. Based on blood tests and him poking around on my belly with his fingers, he's expecting it to show further shrinkage of the cancer in my liver. My hope, of course, is that he insists that I retake it because the (cancer-free) results must be a mistake. ;-)

Brad

Ian Gentles

26th August 2007, 09:19 AM (09:19)

I had the scan. I see the doctor this coming Tuesday, 28 August 2007 so he can tell me what it says. Based on blood tests and him poking around on my belly with his fingers, he's expecting it to show further shrinkage of the cancer in my liver. My hope, of course, is that he insists that I retake it because the (cancer-free) results must be a mistake. ;-)

Brad

I sure hope so to brad.

Anne and Dwayne Hood

27th August 2007, 02:30 AM (02:30)

What more could be said, Brad, than some of the beautiful trusting things that you have written during the month of August. I have been reading them, on this early morning of August 27th. I am SO glad that you don't have chemo brain as I did, and can still use your mind to talk with people, and write things on the theoloogy board, and other boards. Are you still working with Roland concerning the church? This all just amazing to me, that your brain is still so brilliant. You know, that doc jut might get a big shock when he sees the results of your scan. Let us know as soon as you learn the resut. I have requested prayer for you at church twice lately.

Brad Mercer

28th August 2007, 06:16 AM (06:16)

I just updated the "Choosing to Live Physically" on the www.choosing2live.com website. In brief, it's not a miracle but the news was as good as could otherwise be expected. I have a reasonable expectation of apparent good health for the last few months of the year to try to accomplish some of things I came here to accomplish.

Brad

Ian Gentles

28th August 2007, 07:08 AM (07:08)

Hope ya got a lot longer than that mate, we want ya here.

Ian Gentles

10th September 2007, 03:06 PM (15:06)

How are you today brother, 10th September, all going well?

Brad Mercer

10th September 2007, 04:36 PM (16:36)

How are you today brother, 10th September, all going well?

Waiting on chemo symptoms to end -- they haven't, yet. One, the numbness and tingling in extremities has actually gotten worse, as the doctor said it might. Digestive system a little chewed up, presumably by the new "anti-cancer" diet.

And sitting around wondering how to really make the most of right now.

But God is still God and love is still enough, and he has given us this day, and we keep running into people who don't even know us who have had it laid on their hearts to fervently pray.

Thanks for asking.

Love,
Brad

Ian Gentles

10th September 2007, 05:02 PM (17:02)

Hope effects wear off soon. What is your anti cancer diet?

Brad Mercer

10th September 2007, 05:21 PM (17:21)

Hope effects wear off soon. What is your anti cancer diet?

It basically involves lots of vegetables, no meat or dairy, no normal grains and limited fruit. And 2/3 cup of cottage cheese every day mixed with 6 tablespoons of flaxseed oil. It's a two month diet that's supposed to cure cancer. I'm doing it because my employer and friend bought the book and recommended it. It's probably the last wierd diet I'll try.

Brad

Ian Gentles

10th September 2007, 06:12 PM (18:12)

Maybe its helping and you dont know it?

Gina Stevenson

11th September 2007, 12:05 AM (00:05)

Does that fruit still include those Acai berries? [think that's what they were, right?]. Praying, Brad.

It basically involves lots of vegetables, no meat or dairy, no normal grains and limited fruit. And 2/3 cup of cottage cheese every day mixed with 6 tablespoons of flaxseed oil. It's a two month diet that's supposed to cure cancer. I'm doing it because my employer and friend bought the book and recommended it. It's probably the last wierd diet I'll try.

Brad

Brad Mercer

11th September 2007, 12:11 AM (00:11)

Does that fruit still include those Acai berries? [think that's what they were, right?]. Praying, Brad.

No, but I'm eating a handful of goji berries a day. They're supposed to be a new miracle food.

I remain of the opinion, though, that my best chance is a literal, supernatural miracle.

Brad

Gina Stevenson

11th September 2007, 12:22 AM (00:22)

No, but I'm eating a handful of goji berries a day. They're supposed to be a new miracle food.

I remain of the opinion, though, that my best chance is a literal, supernatural miracle.

Brad

OK. For some reason, having just recently heard of this other fruit, similarly praised, I got them mixed up, I guess. BTW, do you think sometimes---seeing someone doing all they can within their power---God then moves in, as if saying, "I see you're doing all humanly possible ... so now let Me take over."

Brad Mercer

11th September 2007, 04:44 AM (04:44)

BTW, do you think sometimes---seeing someone doing all they can within their power---God then moves in, as if saying, "I see you're doing all humanly possible ... so now let Me take over."

Sure. Of course, when the oncologist tells you you have a better chance of beating the cancer by miracle than by medical breakthrough, you know on the day of diagnosis that nothing is humanly possible.

Except that of course, half the people in the world seem to be firmly convinced that I've chosen to die if I don't embrace their unproven remedy. If I did what they consider "all humanly possible" it would involve cutting out 3.5 of the four basic food groups or about 3/4 of the food pyramid, and then eating my weight in unproven supplements daily.

So I'll either die in peace, anticipating the moment when I know even as I am known, or I'll get my miracle with simple trust and mustard seed faith, rather than by jumping through all the right hoops first.

Brad

Ian Gentles

11th September 2007, 08:59 AM (08:59)

Diet is important but never that important,

Marsha Lynn

11th September 2007, 10:51 AM (10:51)

Except that of course, half the people in the world seem to be firmly convinced that I've chosen to die if I don't embrace their unproven remedy. If I did what they consider "all humanly possible" it would involve cutting out 3.5 of the four basic food groups or about 3/4 of the food pyramid, and then eating my weight in unproven supplements daily.

So ... why do these people, many of whom presumably profess faith in God, have so little confidence in the value found in the variety of food that God has given us to consume during our time here on earth? Why does it seem so much better to analyze that food and then reduce it to synthetic substitutes? Are we still trying to bypass God and control our own destinies?

BTW blueberries are one of those "miracle foods" and I practically turn blue during blueberry season. I pick a bunch, freeze a few, and simply consume the rest handfuls at a time. And I was still diagnosed with cancer. Must have been the unwashed berries I ate in the patch. :cool:

I guess the advantage of actually trying one of those miracle diets (as opposed to giving up food in favor of pills) is that you can at least testify to those who are sure they have a cure for you that you are already doing something besides conducting life as usual as though you don't care enough to live.

I'm just thrilled that you're able and willing to keep coming back here to let us walk beside you. You are a blessing, Brad. Both when you're up and when you're down. Because you are real at any level. Thank you.

I've cast my vote in favor of the miracle. On the other hand, I suspect that we're already seeing one simply in God's grace at work in your life. :fav18

Marsha

Ian Gentles

14th September 2007, 10:29 AM (10:29)

I think most folks have problems finding the healthier foods at a price they can afford, hence big supermarkets corner all the market. More folks who refuse to buy their junk food they will change, but sadly folks just eat whats there :(

Robin Hatcher

14th September 2007, 10:40 AM (10:40)

Wow Brad,

Your reply to my questions means even more now considering all that you are going through and your still take the time to help someone. You and your family are certainly in my prayers.

Robin

Gina Stevenson

14th September 2007, 12:57 PM (12:57)

Diet is important but never that important,

Oh, Ian. It's not just this comment I'm addressing, but a comment elsewhere re the variety of food God has given us, and then centering on just a few for awhile [when in need]. First, our body does have only that with which to rebuild itself from what we put into it ... from gleaning nutrients [which is why occasional cleansing is good, too ... to get rid of possible sludge build-up, so nutrients may get absorbed; ask Dave & Linda McC ;)].

Then, too, sometimes it may be a neglect of some of "all this variety we've been given" that makes it not seem to strange that suddenly one is concentrating on a particular variety of food ... making up, sometimes, for a lack of having included these things in a former ["normal"] dietary regimen?? Not that they're something that one might want to use as their "regular diet" for endless years ... but, short-term, not so strange.

In spite of the fact that all of us on NN will never totally come to any agreement as to those things that are beneficial---or not---and should, or should not, be included in our dietary regimen (no more than everyone in the church will, apparently, agree on women in ministry), there are some overall practices/foods that, over the long haul, eventually have some effect ... hopefully a good one.

Praying for that miracle, Brad!

Laurie Florence

14th September 2007, 06:55 PM (18:55)

Praying for that miracle, too, Brad. :)

Brian Blankenship

19th September 2007, 12:52 AM (00:52)

Praying for you Brad. I admire your courage and what you just posted about Anne Baldridge being your future. Its amazing to me how you can show such Christlikeness in the face of such tremendous trials. God bless you! You are a real blessing to me.

John Martin

22nd September 2007, 02:42 PM (14:42)

Brad, please know you are in my prayers. God knows your work, and He knows you have more to do.

Agreeing with you in prayer,
John Martin

David van Beveren

22nd September 2007, 02:49 PM (14:49)

Praying for you, brother

Daniel Curtis

22nd September 2007, 03:01 PM (15:01)

Praying for you

Anne and Dwayne Hood

22nd September 2007, 05:13 PM (17:13)

Brad, I thank God for your faithfulness, no matter what. No one actually knows what will cure cancer. Do you experience sore and bleeding gums? Are you able to sleep?
Are you still too warm in bed, when your wife is comfortable? Did you lose your hair?
Inquisivtive minds like mine want to know.
I am utterly amazrd at how clear your mind is, and how you can "talk" and laugh on the computer, and feel Jesus near to you. I guess there are different kinds of chemo.

Ian Gentles

22nd September 2007, 05:28 PM (17:28)

Saturday 22nd how are ya doing these days mate? still on wacky diet?, who knows it may indeed help! I wouldent give it up too easily ya just never know brother.

Brad Mercer

22nd September 2007, 07:47 PM (19:47)

Do you experience sore and bleeding gums?

No, I haven't experienced that.

Are you able to sleep?

Nope, that one, either.

Are you still too warm in bed, when your wife is comfortable?

Yes, I've definitely experienced that one. I'll wake up in the middle of the night soaking wet with sweat. Karen has switched to flannel-type sheets instead of a silkier kind, so they absorb the sweat better.

Did you lose your hair?

No (at least not from the chemo! I've lost plenty to just being an aging male.)

I am utterly amazed at how clear your mind is, and how you can "talk" and laugh on the computer, and feel Jesus near to you. I guess there are different kinds of chemo.

Definitely. I've had a harder time staying focused, but that just means I write shorter pieces, and mostly respond to threads that require less thought for me. Even prolonged Bible reading and prayer are more difficult, so I depend all the more on the prayers of others. I think my ability to focus is improving recently, though.

I was sleeping a lot but since chemo ended that has started getting back to normal. I had a little nausea during chemo but they kept that under control with drugs.

I have numb, tingling fingers and toes as a lingering side effect of chemo. That has actually gotten worse since chemo ended, as the oncologist said it might. He said it takes 6 months for that side effect to clear up for some people.

Between the changes in diet and the fact that it is colon cancer, bowel movements are different in frequency, consistency and quantity than normal. Paying attention to that in case it causes weight loss or suggests new growth in the cancer in the colon is an ongoing thing now.

My main source of discomfort, pain or disability right now is my belly. I lost 25% of my total body weight during chemo because of "cancer-cure" diets and chemo-induced diarrhea. At that point the weight loss was a serious concern to the doctor and oncology nurses, so I went on a crash diet to gain weight, but was too weak and tired to exercise. So now I have this big belly that, in conjunction with the ongoing digestive discomforts I had anyway, leaves me feeling bloated, tight, crampy, and with greater difficulty bending over and so forth than I'm used to as a normally skinny person.

I forgot how much muscle tissue I had lost and injured my back a few weeks ago during a burst of energy. It's not bad, but it occasionally causes minor pain and frequent stiffness.

Other than the back and belly, though, I don't look or feel too badly at all. And those problems are, of course, problems that lots of people live with.

That's pretty much my whole physical story at the moment.

Brad

Brad Mercer

22nd September 2007, 07:52 PM (19:52)

Saturday 22nd how are ya doing these days mate? still on wacky diet?, who knows it may indeed help! I wouldent give it up too easily ya just never know brother.

Yes, I'm still on a wacky diet. It'll end at the end of October, by which time it claims that my cancer should be cured or dramatically reduced. After that, I'll keep drinking my cousin's magic water just because it's here, but other than that I intend to settle for just normal healthy eating, as defined by scientific consensus, and rely on God for healing my incurable cancer -- or not, and to resting in him either way.

Brad

Brian Blankenship

22nd September 2007, 07:57 PM (19:57)

;)God bless you Brad!

Jenny Mitchell

22nd September 2007, 09:03 PM (21:03)

Dear Brad,

My brother, I certainly understand how you feel. Sometimes it does get hard to pray - fatigue, pain, whatever the cause, it is certainly real. Forgive me if I've shared this with you before, but I take great comfort at those times from the story of the paralytic man on the mat, whose friends lower him down to Jesus through a roof. When Jesus saw the friends' faith, he told the man on the mat his sins were forgiven and healed him. It wasn't the man's faith, but the friends. Two points:

1. How vitally important it is that we pray for one another for both physical and spiritual healing!
2. How comforting it is to know that when our faith is weak, our brothers and sisters can carry us.

If you need more to read (LOL), let me know and I'll send you a sermon I preached on this text. It was clearly one of the times when the sermon was directed toward the preacher....

With my prayers, Brad.

In Christ,
Jenny

Brad Mercer

23rd September 2007, 12:26 AM (00:26)

Jenny,

Yes, we've had this conversation before, but it remains a story to which I cling. You are in my prayers and I appreciate being in yours.

Brad

Dear Brad,

My brother, I certainly understand how you feel. Sometimes it does get hard to pray - fatigue, pain, whatever the cause, it is certainly real. Forgive me if I've shared this with you before, but I take great comfort at those times from the story of the paralytic man on the mat, whose friends lower him down to Jesus through a roof. When Jesus saw the friends' faith, he told the man on the mat his sins were forgiven and healed him. It wasn't the man's faith, but the friends. Two points:

1. How vitally important it is that we pray for one another for both physical and spiritual healing!
2. How comforting it is to know that when our faith is weak, our brothers and sisters can carry us.

If you need more to read (LOL), let me know and I'll send you a sermon I preached on this text. It was clearly one of the times when the sermon was directed toward the preacher....

With my prayers, Brad.

In Christ,
Jenny

Ian Gentles

23rd September 2007, 07:40 AM (07:40)

Thanks for the update it helps us to pray more specificaly.

Ian Gentles

2nd October 2007, 04:15 PM (16:15)

Brad Mercer

2nd October 2007, 04:38 PM (16:38)

2nd October, how is it going brother, nope havent forgotten about you, lol that would be impossible your posts are soo good. How is the church work going, wish you every blessing and succes with it. Any good news on the financial, health insurance front? that did sound worrying.
Keep us informed we need to hear from you, every blessing.

Physical symptoms are no different from when I described them in this thread a week or so ago. The insurance company is paying for most stuff now, other than actual drugs. Of course, that's a pretty big exception when you're talking chemo, so we were left with a $5,000-6,000 pharmacy bill. We recently received a $500 donation, plus a $1,700 refund check from the hospital for something we paid and then the insurance company paid, so we've got the total remaining debt down to $3,000+. Of course, that won't be much help in procuring the next round of chemo if the cancer mutates and starts growing rapidly again, as expected by the doctors. But it sounds like there's fairly limited added life expectancy from that route, anyway.

On the church front, we actually have two tiny rays of hope on the horizon that may ultimately enable us to really plant the kind of church we envision, but they're both too speculative at this point to publicize them.

The two big prayer requests for me, of course are always for my physical healing and then for the church to get off the ground and for me to get to see it becoming what we've worked and sacrificed and prayed for.

My mother came up with the money for a plane ticket this past week, so I'll be home in Dallas for about a month in December. Karen and Jake won't be able to come, so they'll stay here and try to make a little extra money.

Love,
Brad

Ian Gentles

2nd October 2007, 05:26 PM (17:26)

Many thanks Brad, please keep us informed.

David van Beveren

5th October 2007, 03:31 AM (03:31)

Brad, thank you for the courage you show to seize life.
Praying for you and the church.

Brad Mercer

5th October 2007, 05:30 AM (05:30)

The mind wanders over mountaintops and through the valley of the shadow.

I'll idly imagine -- and see so clearly -- sitting in the oncologist's office as he tells me he wants to take the CT scans again because there seems to be some mistake, and I smirk and suggest we have them done at a different lab, too, just in case this one is incompetent and got mine mixed up with someone else's, because any miracle of God will stand up to scrutiny. And I recall Jesus, after healing the lepers, sending them to the leprosy experts to have the healing officially confirmed.

And then I lay in bed at night, drifting off to sleep with tears running down my cheeks as I contemplate that the next Valentine's Day love poem I write to Karen, or the one after that, may be the last one she ever receives, and that she might live another 40 years after my death and never again look into eyes that light up with delight at the sight of her, and never again hear someone tell her that she's cute and squishy and adorable and easy to love.

The next morning I wake thinking of something in between those scenarios, or maybe far beyond them both. I'm singing the verse from Amazing Grace, and savoring each word and phrase, and recognizing their truth in my own life as I sing: "Through many dangers, toils and snares, I have already come." and I pause there and think how true is each word. And then I resume the verse: "'Tis grace that brought me safe thus far," yes, Lord, it's true, "and grace will lead me home." I know. Either way, whether it takes months or decades, it's still true. It is true to the uttermost, in some deep way that nothing else quite is, that grace has brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home. And whether through me or not, grace will lead my loved ones, as well.

Love,
Brad

Hans Deventer

5th October 2007, 05:36 AM (05:36)

It is true to the uttermost, in some deep way that nothing else quite is, that grace has brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home. And whether through me or not, grace will lead my loved ones, as well.

Yes. Yes. Yes. I can hardly type another "yes" because of the tears in my eyes, but YES!

Terri Knoll

5th October 2007, 07:54 AM (07:54)

hugging and praying for you with tears

love you

Ian Gentles

7th October 2007, 01:54 PM (13:54)

I keep praying mate that those cancer cels with die off, that you have years ahead of you. Oh Lord give heed unto the prayers of this Thy pathetic servant! Amen!

Bruce Carriker

7th October 2007, 03:03 PM (15:03)

Yeah...what Ian said.

Gina Stevenson

7th October 2007, 07:03 PM (19:03)

I keep praying mate that those cancer cels with die off, that you have years ahead of you. Oh Lord give heed unto the prayers of this Thy pathetic servant! Amen!

'Seems like we've read somewhere, didn't we, that Job's dire situation was turned around when he was found praying for his friends? :cool: :fav18

Billy Rolfe

9th October 2007, 02:02 AM (02:02)

Brad,
I will be praying for you. We have a friend at our church that had cancer and as far as we know she is now cancer free. I will be praying that God, the ultimate physican(sp?), will heal you of your cancer as well. Hang tough, he will see you through! :basic03 God Bless.

Billy

Anne and Dwayne Hood

9th October 2007, 02:50 AM (02:50)

Jenny and Brad, My heart really goes out to both of you. When I first heard about you Brad, you know, I could hardly stand to discuss it. But, now, I feel better about talking with you and Jenny. It hurts so badly when you hear this news about people you have learned to love. Do you realize, that we have learned to love Jesus without really sing him?
Has the chemo affected --for either of you--your teeth and hearing? Did you lose all of your hair, including eye brows and eye lashes? I finally got some new top teeth last week, and hope to soon have work done on the bottom ones. There is a possibility that I will lose two more of them.
The doctor said that I had the kind of cancer that is like crab grass, that you think you got it all, but it can come back any time anywhere, including the brain. It amazes me that both of you still have the abilitiy to think and feel like an adult with your right mind, during the chemo treatments. It was the first treatment after they changed the chemo, that put me in the worst shape. I never completed all of the treatments.
You may not want to hear all of this, but it is just my way of going right along each step that I can with you. It NEVER gets old. It does not seem possible that it has been seven years, except for the pills I took until late last year.
REMEMBER, that, as best I can, I and others are right in there with you--and I would put my arms around you and your family members, and probably cry, as I am beginning to do right now. Love to Brad and Jenny and their families. Dwayne knows exactly how your spouses probably feel. He could not keep himself from sitting in the room with me and sobbing and shaking. He is use to being so calm and always holding up for "Anne." Just tell your familyto cry and let it out, and maybe that will help them with the load they are carrying. Please forgive me for going on and on, but I CARE SO MUCH.

Brad Mercer

9th October 2007, 05:06 AM (05:06)

No hair loss for me, and I don't think it's affected my teeth, so far. My energy level and ability to focus seem to be improving now. I have encouraged my wife Karen and my youngest son Jake to let themselves feel what they feel, because they both have a tendency to stuff negative emotions. I think they're doing okay. Your love and prayers, and your account of the road you've traveled ahead of us, are deeply appreciated.

Love,
Brad

Jenny and Brad, My heart really goes out to both of you. When I first heard about you Brad, you know, I could hardly stand to discuss it. But, now, I feel better about talking with you and Jenny. It hurts so badly when you hear this news about people you have learned to love. Do you realize, that we have learned to love Jesus without really sing him?
Has the chemo affected --for either of you--your teeth and hearing? Did you lose all of your hair, including eye brows and eye lashes? I finally got some new top teeth last week, and hope to soon have work done on the bottom ones. There is a possibility that I will lose two more of them.
The doctor said that I had the kind of cancer that is like crab grass, that you think you got it all, but it can come back any time anywhere, including the brain. It amazes me that both of you still have the abilitiy to think and feel like an adult with your right mind, during the chemo treatments. It was the first treatment after they changed the chemo, that put me in the worst shape. I never completed all of the treatments.
You may not want to hear all of this, but it is just my way of going right along each step that I can with you. It NEVER gets old. It does not seem possible that it has been seven years, except for the pills I took until late last year.
REMEMBER, that, as best I can, I and others are right in there with you--and I would put my arms around you and your family members, and probably cry, as I am beginning to do right now. Love to Brad and Jenny and their families. Dwayne knows exactly how your spouses probably feel. He could not keep himself from sitting in the room with me and sobbing and shaking. He is use to being so calm and always holding up for "Anne." Just tell your familyto cry and let it out, and maybe that will help them with the load they are carrying. Please forgive me for going on and on, but I CARE SO MUCH.

Ian Gentles

17th October 2007, 03:12 PM (15:12)

Wednesday 17th

How are things going today brother? Started any exercises to reduce stomach you mentioned about?
Glad your energy levels are up, always a good thing.
When you see the doc next? Any more tests planned at present?
Will the hot Australian summer affect you for good or bad, in discomfort terms? Everyone says its going to be a scorcher.
You spiritual life seems to be bouyant, i love your posts.
Hope to hear more good news soon

Your Brother
Ian.

Brad Mercer

17th October 2007, 04:34 PM (16:34)

My next appointment with the oncologist is on Wednesday, 24 October 2007. At that time we'll presumably set a date for the next CT scans and my next oncologist visit. I'll talk to him on the 24th about bowel movements and the belly, and then on the next visit find out whether the cancer has begun growing again, has stayed the same or has miraculously disappeared.

Roland has got me walking every evening after work now. It's only a 15-minute walk but it's all up and down steep hills and he sets a fairly brisk pace, and of course my muscles are pretty weak and my stamina is pretty low, so it pushes me to my absolute limit. Hopefully a few weeks of that will improve my stamina, build muscle and reduce the belly.

In the meantime, life goes on. We laugh and love and think about the possible futures, and practice choosing to trust God.

Love,
Brad

Wednesday 17th

How are things going today brother? Started any exercises to reduce stomach you mentioned about?
Glad your energy levels are up, always a good thing.
When you see the doc next? Any more tests planned at present?
Will the hot Australian summer affect you for good or bad, in discomfort terms? Everyone says its going to be a scorcher.
You spiritual life seems to be bouyant, i love your posts.
Hope to hear more good news soon

Your Brother
Ian.

Joanne Vergin

17th October 2007, 09:53 PM (21:53)

I praise God for Roland and how he is Jesus in the flesh for you.

Brad Mercer

17th October 2007, 10:44 PM (22:44)

I praise God for Roland and how he is Jesus in the flesh for you.

Boy howdy, me, too!

Brad

Rance Gould

20th October 2007, 04:57 PM (16:57)

THE REST OF THE WAY"

Thou hast been my help." Psalm 63:7

O fathomless mercy! O infinite
grace!
With humble thanksgiving the road I
retrace,
Thou never hast failed me, my
Strength and my Stay!
To whom should I turn for the rest
of the way?

Through dangers, through darkness,
by day and by night,
Thou ever hast guided, and guided
aright:
In Thee have I trusted and peace-
fully lay
My hand in Thy hand for the rest
of the way.

Thy cross all my refuge, Thy blood
all my plea,
None other I need, blessed Jesus,
but Thee!
I fear not the shadows at close
of life's day,
For Thou wilt go with me the rest
of the way.
- Lucy A Bennett

Love you Brad - Rance

Brad Mercer

24th October 2007, 03:50 AM (03:50)

I went to the doctor this afternoon. He said the big, uncomfortable belly is fluid buildup, rather than fat. They'll drain it Friday and I'll feel and look much better.

But the fluid buildup probably means the cancer is growing agressively again in my liver.

So, again the wierd irony that seems to happen so often in this process: I'll look and feel better and everyone will comment on that as if it should be reason to be encouraged and hopeful, when in fact it's basically an illusion, because I'm not better, I'm worse.

"Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us, and he will deliver us. But if not, be it known unto thee, O King...."

"Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him."

"For me to live is Christ and to die is gain."

God is God and love is enough.

I will trust God no matter what, and try to reflect his love with each moment of consciousness he gives me, but don't quit praying for a complete, miraculous healing.

Sometimes the answer is yes.

Hans Deventer

24th October 2007, 03:58 AM (03:58)

But the fluid buildup probably means the cancer is growing aggressively again in my liver.

:gen01

I will trust God no matter what, and try to reflect his love with each moment of consciousness he gives me, but don't quit praying for a complete, miraculous healing.

Sometimes the answer is yes.

We will keep praying, Brad!

Garth Lahana

24th October 2007, 04:57 AM (04:57)

Ian Gentles

24th October 2007, 06:32 AM (06:32)

Always praying mate, wish there was better news. Love ya bro!

Anita F. Henck

24th October 2007, 08:47 AM (08:47)

Brad--
We will continue to pray for a "complete, miraculous healing".

I've tried a next paragraph or sentence half a dozen times and erased each one. I can't come up with anything more or better to say than "I will pray".

Your family -- by biology and by heart, on Australian soil, American soil, and all other places around the world -- are also in my prayers. Your life matters to so many of us. So, thanks for the privilege of being a part of your journey.

Blessings,
==anita==

Ian Gentles

24th October 2007, 08:58 AM (08:58)

Is the draining of the fluid a fairly comfortable thing? Could fluid build up be caused by other reasons?

Brad Mercer

24th October 2007, 11:20 AM (11:20)

Well, it looks like if I'm going to be miraculously healed the time for that miracle is getting shorter.

I just got back from the oncologist's office. He said my bloated belly is fluid buildup rather than fat. The good news is that they can readily fix that, at least temporarily, by draining it, which they'll do on Friday, 26-10-2007. After the draining I should feel a lot more comfortable, and probably look better, too. (Today is Wednesday, 24-10-2007.) And I can help reduce fluid buildup by eating more protein, which just means quitting two days early the "cancer cure" diet I've been on for the last two months, which required that I consume no animal products at all, which obviously cuts out a lot of protein, no matter how many beans I eat.

The bad news is that the fluid buildup probably means that the cancer in my liver is growing agressively again. They'll know more about that on Friday after the ultrasound, which comes before the draining.

So, whether God heals me or not, I'm in his hands and I trust him. But if I had my druthers I'd rather have the miracle. He still can and he still may, so please continue to pray for a miraculous, complete healing of the cancer.

In the meantime, I'll try to continue to do this day what he gives me to do, to reflect to the people around me his love and their worth to him.

God is still God and love is still enough.

The text above was automatically inserted from the blog via rss.
More... (http://bradsbigbadbrisbaneblog.blogspot.com/2007/10/minor-good-news-and-major-bad-news.html)

Marsha Gupton

24th October 2007, 02:29 PM (14:29)

Praying in Tennessee

"All the Way My Savior Leads Me"

Brian Blankenship

24th October 2007, 02:32 PM (14:32)

Praying in Missouri!

Linda Bechtold

24th October 2007, 04:27 PM (16:27)

Lots and lots of prayers going up from the Bechtold house!

Jenny Mitchell

24th October 2007, 04:30 PM (16:30)

Praying here in Indiana, Brad. I know God still does and can do miracles.

Grace and peace,
Jenny

Brad Mercer

24th October 2007, 04:31 PM (16:31)

Is the draining of the fluid a fairly comfortable thing? Could fluid build up be caused by other reasons?

Comfortable, apparently yes. Other reasons, I think possibly but not probably. I'll know more when it's over on Friday.

Brad

Dennis M. Scott

24th October 2007, 08:00 PM (20:00)

Praying for healing, and for grace. You are obviously familiar with grace!
love,
Dennis

Gina Stevenson

25th October 2007, 12:10 AM (00:10)

Gord Evans

25th October 2007, 09:46 AM (09:46)

I continue to have a complete and absolute loss of words for these circumstances, Brad (though my heart echoes so many of the loving thoughts of others, here), so I simply continue to believe, and to pray. The heart, and the beauty (I suppose) in all of this, is that you will be healed.

Love,
Gord

David van Beveren

25th October 2007, 11:15 PM (23:15)

God is God and love is enough.
I will trust God no matter what, and try to reflect his love with each moment of consciousness he gives me, but don't quit praying for a complete, miraculous healing.
Praying for you, Brad.

Ian Gentles

26th October 2007, 06:24 AM (06:24)

How did it go Brad, whats the latest from scan? love ya bro.

Brad Mercer

26th October 2007, 06:38 AM (06:38)

I spent all day today having fluid drained from my abdomen. They took out a total of 10 litres!

I'm thinking of writing a bestselling book entitled: "How to lose 10 pounds and 2 dress sizes in 6 hours".

My belly isn't down to its normal flatness, but it's much small than it was this morning, and the pressure is gone. I feel much better in that area. Unfortunately at about the same time, starting this past Wednesday night (This is Friday night.) I developed a pain in my right side that got fairly severe while they were draining me (through a tube in my left side). I didn't see the doctor today so I don't know what the cause is, but the nurse called him and got me a prescription for a morphine-based painkiller, which helped. On balance I still feel better than I have for a while, but at 8:30pm I'm so sleepy I can hardly hold my head up.

Just wanted to catch you up on my day's adventure before crashing.

Love,
Brad

Ian Gentles

26th October 2007, 07:10 AM (07:10)

Thanks for update oh slimmer one ;)
Let us know what scan results are.
Hope that pain in side will leave you, keeps us informed regaurds any developments there.
Well hope you did get a great sleep and that Saturday will be a day of blessing for you.
Praying always, especialy that God, in His perfect time, might grant that miracle.

Brian Blankenship

26th October 2007, 12:11 PM (12:11)

Dana Grant

26th October 2007, 12:50 PM (12:50)

Still wondering about the two dress sizes comment.

Praying that your pain will subside today! Brian.

Yeah, Brian, I was thinking the same thing. I wonder how Brad KNOWS that you can lose 2 dress sizes........Brad, have you done something to your wardrobe lately? Anything you wanna tell us? LOL

Just kidding........I'm glad you still have a good smile factor, Brad.....you're a loved brother, you know that? We are praying, you can count on that!

Gina Stevenson

27th October 2007, 11:59 PM (23:59)

Oh, Brad! That's a lot of build-up ... more than 10#'s worth for that many litres! Anyway, you could maybe speak of pant-waist sizes lost rather than dress sizes ... unless ... naw, you just don't fit the cross-dressing profile, bro! ;)

As Carolyn, and other have indicated, it's been a joy to meet/hang out with ya ... and praying that you will have a blessed loooooong life ... so you can continue being that "blessing" that only you can be ... recalling, of course, your warped humor's favorite phrase, "I only want to be a blessing." :w)

Brad Mercer

28th October 2007, 01:29 AM (01:29)

Anyway, you could maybe speak of pant-waist sizes lost rather than dress sizes

I could've, but it wouldn't have had nearly the entertainment value. :M)

Besides, I hear women talking about losing dress sizes a lot more often than men losing pant sizes, so I figured it would help my chances of making it a bestseller.:basic03

Brad

Sue Pyles

28th October 2007, 01:39 AM (01:39)

:pray)

Gina Stevenson

28th October 2007, 08:21 AM (08:21)

I could've, but it wouldn't have had nearly the entertainment value. :M)

Besides, I hear women talking about losing dress sizes a lot more often than men losing pant sizes, so I figured it would help my chances of making it a bestseller.:basic03

Brad

Crossed my mind as I typed my rather senseless post, too, Brad ... but I still just had to pick on ya, anyway, OK? :basic05

Ian Gentles

28th October 2007, 09:50 AM (09:50)

Cant wait to read that best seller Brad! ;)

Brian Blankenship

28th October 2007, 04:38 PM (16:38)

:M):rolleyes::basic05Praying for you today for the loss of pain, and healing in your body. Don't need to pray for your entertainment value. Its doing rather well!

Brad Mercer

2nd November 2007, 03:08 AM (03:08)

I was at the hospital again today to have fluid drained from my abdominal cavity. They gave us everything we needed to do it ourselves at home from now on, but we'll still need to go in weekly to have it checked and dressings changed.

I asked the doctor 2 or 3 hours ago for his current guess as to my remaining life expectancy. He said 4-8 weeks. As soon as I got home from I opened the laptop to give people an update. My inbox had a brief note from my mother reminding me that she's praying for me and eagerly anticipating the pending trip to Dallas.

This was my reply:

I just this moment got back from the hospital. The doctor now guesses that I have 4-8 weeks to live. We're going to try by Monday night to get the airlines (without requiring a lot more money of us) to change the flight to as soon as possible and to a 10-14 day stay. And if we're going to get to experience a miracle, it looks like we'll get to see it soon. So, soon and very soon, I get to experience glory here or glory hereafter; I get to see first hand his power or his face.

The newly urgent first item on my agenda is to make a list of the things I really, really need to get done/said in the time I have left.

What's the last, one, most important thing I want to say to my kids?

What's the list of songs I want people to hear at my memorial services that will leave them grinning through their tears, rolling their eyes, shaking their heads and saying to themselves, "yep, this is the right place; I haven't stumbled into some other meeting or someone else's funeral. This couldn't be anyone but Brad."

Of course, if I get the miracle I'll have plenty of time to figure out how most compellingly tell that story, and it'll get better with every re-telling.

Love,
Brad

Hans Deventer

2nd November 2007, 04:51 AM (04:51)

I asked the doctor 2 or 3 hours ago for his current guess as to my remaining life expectancy. He said 4-8 weeks.

Aw man, I hate this kind of message. And I can't find the proper words to write either :basic04
You have my prayers and my love, brother, but you knew that already. I'll pray specifically for the airline people to help you as well.

What's the last, one, most important thing I want to say to my kids?

Brad, when my father passed away, there was peace in the knowing that all had been said that needed to be said. Even from my distance, I don't really think there is anything important that you should say to them that they haven't already heard, and known. And the greatest gift you can give them is your faith in the middle of all of this, as you have given that before.

Don't worry, brother. Your life has been a tremendous blessing. Which is the very reason I keep praying God will allow it to bless more people still.

Dana Grant

2nd November 2007, 04:53 AM (04:53)

Brad?

All of those "P.S. I just wanna be a blessing" -- well, you have definitely been a blessing, my friend. And I pray that you'll continue to be a blessing to so many people, right here on earth, for many more years to come.......Lord, we need a miracle. Right now. LORD, WE NEED A MIRACLE.

And now, what can we do as a NazNet family? Sure, not many of us have met you in the flesh, but we're all here for you, your NazNet family. Wanting to DO something. Other than cry and wring our hands and feel helpless.

What?

Yes, we are praying. Of course, that is the obvious thing and the most important thing we can all do.

But is there something else?

I can't say anything else right now. We love you, brother.

Dana

Betty Myers

2nd November 2007, 05:06 AM (05:06)

Dear Brad,
I, too, am in stage four of colon cancer and can fully empathize with you. My hope is in the Lord, not necessarily for healing, but for strength and grace at this time. And this I pray for you. Who knows? Perhaps we will yet be caught up to the clouds to be with the Lord forever.

Betty Myers

Dennis M. Scott

2nd November 2007, 06:47 AM (06:47)

Brad,

If I were able, I'd want to sit with you for long sessions just being quiet. There are times when words - verbal or text - just don't work. It's especially difficult to communicate that via the internet. We simply want you to know that we're with you. You know how sometimes you just want to be quiet before the Lord? I'd like to request a few thousand years to do that with you - worship Him quietly with you. Put my name on your "dance" card.

Brad Mercer's demonstration of Christ's love has played well. Those who have known you have experienced Him. Rest assured that long after you're gone we will celebrate the One you want us to. On the canvas of life, your brush strokes have contributed to the portrait of Christ. We have been blessed, and your influence will endure way longer than another four to eight weeks. You have contributed to Something eternal. Your life matters. Thank you.

I'm still praying, and in you we have already experienced a miracle. We will continue to pray for your loved ones.

Words fail. He doesn't. He isn't.

grace, peace, and love,

Dennis

Ian Gentles

2nd November 2007, 07:36 AM (07:36)

Oh Brad that news must have been like a blow to the stomach, on reading it sure felt like that to me :(
Once read Cristian Barnards book, guy who did first heart transplant. He tells of a girl with hours/days to live who begged him, as a young doctor, because of pain, to help her die, he was tempted but didn't. Girls cancer went away at that time and she lived for many more years. If it could happen then, and many times it does, it can happen again.
We aren't being falsely optomistic here, medically your condition is way bad, but with God miracles happen every day. The dear Lord is hearing lots of folks praying for you, hearing many arguments for that miracle to happen, and God does hear and listen, so who knows brother, miracles often happen when only God can receive the credit, now seems a good time.
You are so loved Brad, and prayers are increasing for you if anything.

Roland Hearn

2nd November 2007, 07:50 AM (07:50)

Brad, you are my closest friend, you are my brother. I share almost as much of my heart with you as I do my wife - and more of my dream. I fumbled along nearly 10 years ago trying to articulate an understanding of grace that would be compelling. You understood what I was saying, grabbed it firmer, more clearly and more completely than anyone else I have known. We have stumbled through a decade together waiting for the moment for God to blow open the doors so we can live out our dream together and see many lives transformed by grace alone. We have seen touches of his grace in Frisco and here in Brisbane but nowhere near what we know we could see.

Tonight I am all ready feeling lonely and alone, I am begging God for a miracle and preparing my heart and soul to be the friend you need in the next few weeks. I don't know how to do what we need to do together and I don't know how I can be what God can make me without you - but God will be God and love will be enough. See you in the morning, we will celebrate this weekend with Jesse Middendorf as the weekend revival begins in my country because of your great love and faith. Thank you for being true to the dream God had called Brad Mercer.

Terri Knoll

2nd November 2007, 08:32 AM (08:32)

Roland, I am so glad Brad has you as a friend. God couldn't have put anyone like you in Brads life, so He chose you! Not to elevate Brad to saint status, but I can imagine the disciples angst at the loss of Jesus. I can imagine them wanting to be there right to the end and still hoping for a different outcome. I sense that in you too. People sometimes forget that the ones left behind are the most affected. May God give you peace as you minister to Brad. I am glad you are there.

blessings,
Terri

Terri Knoll

2nd November 2007, 08:50 AM (08:50)

Thank you Lord for taking me this far
Man this road has been much harder than I thot it'd be
When I look into Your eyes
my pain goes away.

When I stepped into your call
you welcomed me with open arms
when I realize the scope of Your love
takes my breath away.....yeah

And I thank You Lord for loving me
for singing out over me
with mercy, grace and mercy
And I find myself down on my knees
praising you for all I've seen and done thru You
I'm your servant, I'm your servant

Farewell June 1939

this song so reminds me of you. Thank you for being a servant.

love you

Laurie Florence

2nd November 2007, 09:05 AM (09:05)

Brad
Praying for you and your loved ones. You are a blessing.

Anita F. Henck

2nd November 2007, 09:12 AM (09:12)

Brad--
I think we've been on Naznet together 10 years or so. I know you were one of the folks we met in San Antonio at the General Assembly Naznet Breakfast in '97. Over these years, I've come to learn from you, love your heart, be captured by your view of God's love and grace, and pray for you and your family. All of that continues, but with a special sense of urgency that this is one of those times when earth's wants and needs aren't being matched by the doctors' reports.

You've been through a lot of changes in these 10+ years -- from posting from a corporate office in a high rise in the DFW area to leaving it all to start a church plant in Frisco to selling it all for a move to Australia to begin a new work, visioning God's love and grace in a new way in a new ministry. Through it all, there have been some consistent themes and messages -- your deep love for Karen and your children, your love of "Mama" and the ups and downs of being a PK, your love for Texas and all things southern, your growing love of your Saviour, and your shared vision with Roland of ministry to the unchurched and those who have been affected by the church. Your vision that love and grace are enough has been shared on two continents ... but also round the Internet world (which isn't limited by geography).

When I saw your latest post a little after midnight my time, I tried to reply. And, Naznet was down for a bit. So, I've filled in much of the intervening hours with a bit of sleep and a lot of prayer. That's probably a better balance than a lot of Naznet, a lot of worrying, and a little bit of prayer!

As Dana said, your tag line of "just want to be a blessing!" has usually been said with the internet equivalent of a twinkle in your eye. But, the reality is, you've been a blessing to many and will continue to be one. We're just praying that the Lord hears our pleas on behalf of your family and friends that you're needed on this earth a bit more than 4 to 8 weeks. But, even here, we will continue to trust Him and believe.

I've reread Job in these early morning hours. I'm struck by Job 19:25-27 -- " I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eyes—I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me!"

We'll continue to pray ... both for God's will and ours. We love you, brother!
==anita==

Laurie Florence

2nd November 2007, 11:20 AM (11:20)

Brad, I've noticed in some of your posts that you find music to be soothing. Here is a song by Marie Barnett that has blessed my heart many times. Hope it will bless yours.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXzcdL43_Ns

Take care,
Laurie

Marsha Gupton

2nd November 2007, 11:21 AM (11:21)

Anita has said what has been in my heart since reading your news this morning.

I am praying for you and your family. I am still praying for a miracle.

I recall the time you posted from Starbucks in Frisco.

I admire you and appreciate you. I am in awe of your committment to Christ and his Kingdom and the personal sacrifices you have made.

God Bless You Always!
Marsha Gupton
Nashville, TN

Brian Blankenship

2nd November 2007, 03:52 PM (15:52)

Brad, just read your post from a couple of pages back, and read your response to your mother. I am amazed at your words, I sit here stunned, in tears, and yet thankful there are still heroes in the world. I'm not talking hollywood, or sports teams, yet real people of faith who show their mettle by what they go through. God bless you. You're in my prayers.

Barbara Phillips

2nd November 2007, 03:59 PM (15:59)

Brad,

I just came back to this thread again.

I'm praying a miracle happens my Brother In Christ.

Still praying for you.

Your Sister In Christ,

Joel Merrill

2nd November 2007, 04:22 PM (16:22)

The doctor now guesses that I have 4-8 weeks to live.
Oh Brad, that is awful!!! I haven't been following Naznet but Dana told me. I still have many friends here and you are one of them. I really feel like I need to say something but I have no idea what to say. Of course I'm praying for you and your family but somehow that doesn't seem like enough. I just don't know what else to say. I pray that you sense the love that everyone here has for you. If God choses not to heal you, I pray that he has mercy on your pain.

Joel

David van Beveren

2nd November 2007, 05:03 PM (17:03)

I just this moment got back from the hospital. The doctor now guesses that I have 4-8 weeks to live. ...
And if we're going to get to experience a miracle, it looks like we'll get to see it soon. So, soon and very soon, I get to experience glory here or glory hereafter; I get to see first hand his power or his face.

What's the last, one, most important thing I want to say to my kids?
What's the list of songs I want people to hear at my memorial services ...
Of course, if I get the miracle I'll have plenty of time to figure out how most compellingly tell that story, and it'll get better with every re-telling.

Tears and a smile.
You're precious Brad.
I love you, and Elly and I, we pray for you, and your family!

Grandma Carolyn

2nd November 2007, 07:15 PM (19:15)

Dear Brad,

Like everyone else, I'm really, really sad to think that you could be saying good-by to us for a while. Like everyone else, I too, will not stop hoping for our miracle of healing for you and that you can stay with us a few more years.

I was just wondering, would it be out of place for me to ask that, if you get there before I do, would you talk to Jesus about arranging a NazNet Meeting for us NazNetters?

We had our first NazNet Meeting in San Antonio, and I like to think that we could continue to have them even in heaven.

GC

Dennis M. Scott

2nd November 2007, 10:11 PM (22:11)

Dear Brad,

I was just wondering, would it be out of place for me to ask that, if you get there before I do, would you talk to Jesus about arranging a NazNet Meeting for us NazNetters?

We had our first NazNet Meeting in San Antonio, and I like to think that we could continue to have them even in heaven.

GC

Grandma Carolyn - you have more nerve than I do. :eek:

Brad - I guess I would want to attend such a meeting, but PLEASE, PLEASE, have more spiritual things on your heart for the first couple thousand years! :w)

Brad Mercer

3rd November 2007, 12:53 AM (00:53)

Yes, we sing that at church. It's a great worship song. I just throw out my arms, throw back my head, close my eyes, and "I'm desperate for you."

Brad

Brad, I've noticed in some of your posts that you find music to be soothing. Here is a song by Marie Barnett that has blessed my heart many times. Hope it will bless yours.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXzcdL43_Ns

Take care,
Laurie

Brad Mercer

3rd November 2007, 01:15 AM (01:15)

I am in awe of ... the personal sacrifices you have made.

You know it's weird; every once in a while someone says something like that, but as God is my witness, I've never sacrificed anything. I've never experienced a net loss in any transaction with God. I can't even think how that would work or what it would look like.

Brad

Brad Mercer

3rd November 2007, 01:35 AM (01:35)

thankful there are still heroes in the world. I'm not talking hollywood, or sports teams, yet real people of faith who show their mettle by what they go through.

Since I wrote that e-mail to Mama I've been playing in my mind with the "this or that" theme with which the e-mail ended (glory here or hereafter, his power or his face). It's a fun idea and one of them I thought of was along that heroes line.

I enjoy seeing all my childhood Marvel Comics superheroes brought to the big screen, so I've eagerly awaited each one as it came out. One coming out in the next year is "Iron Man". I thought, "if I get a miraculous healing I get to see Iron Man, but otherwise I get to meet in person the real iron men heroes of Hebrews 11 who "by faith conquered kingdoms." I go through comparison after comparison like that and in every case, earth pales and I realize that nothing but love could hold anyone back who had seen and understood.

Still, love is a powerful constraint. It was tough sharing tears over the phone last night with my oldest son, as I told him honestly about my current condition and we both tried to be honest with each other about our fears. At the end, when I'd done all I could to give him the tools to process the probable loss of his father when he's only 21, he said: "Yes, but it still sucks." I said: "Yep, I know. It sucks big time. I'll sure stick around if I can."

Well, I'm rambling again. It's nice to have a place for that. ;-)

Brad

Gina Stevenson

3rd November 2007, 01:42 AM (01:42)

Oh, Brad ... hardly know what to say, but first ... "What Dana said [you know, about your little "blessings" you leave here & there ... of the "snickering" sort]" ... and then ................

DANG! [my version of your, "DRAT!" I guess]

Also, deja vu ... is there any way ... just in case the doc's right ... that Karen and Jake could come to TX with you, too [Charlotte & Wes are already at SNU, right]? 'Just wouldn't wish on her what happened with us. We'd come to Michigan because Danny wanted to say goodbye to folks here, he said. By the time we'd driven here, he was feeling so poorly, we took him to the hospital the next morning, rather than visiting whomever.

The huge cancer treatment center there is in GR, MI now wasn't here then ten years ago (practically about this same time, since we left Phx early Nov '97, for that "last trip" here). So, their suggestion? Fly out west and be treated by his regular physicians out there ... ASAP [not driving for days, but to fly back out there]. Not having enough to fly both of us back & forth, borrowing for just his flights, even, he was out there a couple of weeks getting treated, getting a shunt (of the bile duct sort), and then flying back.

At such a time, one wants to spend as much time as possible with their loved one, not be separated ... not there to help ... comfort ... talk (had no cells, so calls became costly) ... not knowing what was going on with him. Besides his not appreciating being alone at his brother's out there, instead of at our home (where he would've been alone-alone), I was not exactly relaxing here in Michigan with him that far away, not knowing how he was doing, etc. Another story in how I had to work through that, too, but not the time for that ... it's just sad that, at such important times as this, $$$ determines whether a family is even together or not. With people being so much more important that $$$ ever will be, that just didn't/doesn't seem right.

So, again, not wishing that sort of separation anxiety, due to circumstances, on Karen, I was just wondering if there's any way that you, she and Jake could all come to TX in that ASAP fashion?

[not wanting to be presumptuous ... but perhaps a NazNetters' collection could help keep the family together for this momentous trip?]

Luv you, Bro! Enjoyed hanging out with you in Frisco, too, years ago, while moving X-country.

gina

Brad Mercer

3rd November 2007, 01:47 AM (01:47)

Well, the first thought was that Jesus, knowing our hearts, will somewhere in his initial orientation meeting with me, roll his eyes and say: "and yes, Brad, we have broadband."

My second thought was: no need, Craig will already have it set up.

Brad

I was just wondering, would it be out of place for me to ask that, if you get there before I do, would you talk to Jesus about arranging a NazNet Meeting for us NazNetters?

We had our first NazNet Meeting in San Antonio, and I like to think that we could continue to have them even in heaven.

GC

Brad Mercer

3rd November 2007, 01:49 AM (01:49)

Brad - I guess I would want to attend such a meeting, but PLEASE, PLEASE, have more spiritual things on your heart for the first couple thousand years! :w)

What a cool place that has someone I'll want to see more than I want to see the apostle John, C.S. Lewis, my little sister or my father-in-law.

David van Beveren

3rd November 2007, 02:01 AM (02:01)

I asked the doctor 2 or 3 hours ago for his current guess as to my remaining life expectancy. He said 4-8 weeks.

Brad, you are my closest friend, you are my brother. I share almost as much of my heart with you as I do my wife - and more of my dream. ...

Dear men of God,
Yesterday evening when we prayed here at home for you, Brad, I realised that you and Roland are two precious brothers to me. Our meeting in May 2005 at pastor's retreat in the Netherlands has impacted me in such a way that I still am not totally recovered from it. And I hope it never will be!
This whole idea of 'love power' is impacting me ever since.
And now, when I read your post Brad, and Roland's answer to that. I see this love between you both. I don't have words to describe what is happening in me when I read those words. But it is exemplifying. It paints something before my eyes that has to do with heaven on earth.
I will tell you both that -- and I know it is by the extravagance grace of God -- you are a kind of icons to me. Through you I can see heaven. And this view molds me in the way God can use me more effectively.

And Brad about sacrifices... in fact your and Roland's sacrifies are, that you gave your entire lives to the Master, and have stayed therein before the eyes of the world and before the eyes of your brothers and sisters in Christ.
Therefore Saint Brad, and Saint Roland (meant in it's proper meaning) I humbly bow before you, and thank you both for your obedience to the holy Spirit, and the example that you have been to me and to many others

And I pray that you both will continue to be that example for a long time among us. Because, Brad, we don't want to lose you!!