The Loss of

[Michael B. Ross]

Dr. Eugene White, the Superintendent of Indianapolis Public Schools, recently announced that cheering no longer would be allowed at the district’s high school graduations. His defense included the argument that high school graduation ceremonies are to be dignified.

"If you celebrate with disruptions you send the wrong message," White recently said. "I want graduation to be a formal ceremony."

His policy was put to the test last evening when the district held its first 2007 graduation ceremony. White reiterated what had been earlier announced in local media—there would be no celebrating after individual names are announced. Anyone breaching the policy would be ejected by police.

He kept his word. Early in the awarding of diplomas, a few applauded and cheered for a friend or family member. They were immediately escorted from the building. Others later celebrated and, with an air of self-centeredness, quickly walked out.

There has been a loss of ceremonial dignity not only at graduations but also at other landmark events. Many ceremonies have become opportunities for spectators to inappropriately express their feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. Participants often imagine themselves on a stage constructed for displaying their creativity.

Even weddings are becoming focal points for practical jokes and clever antics. The foolishness of smashing a piece of cake into the face of a new spouse at the reception is now rearing its ugly head at the wedding itself.

Photographers and videographers sometimes behave like paparazzi in pursuit of an award winning photo. At a recent wedding I performed, a photographer seemingly thought the best close-up pictures of the bride might be taken by standing between me and the groom. I paused between shutter clicks and whispered to him, “Either turn off your camera and sit down or take your pictures from the back of the church.” He sat down. I think he was angry.

I believe ceremonies marking the transitions of life are important. There are reasons many of our rites are public events. They are part of our culture’s infrastructure supporting values embedded in our society. They not only mark an achievement and a moment in time, they reflect who we are and what we consider to be important.

I hope Dr. White’s efforts spark a return to ceremonial dignity.

[Belinda Y. Edwards]

Again - i declare that i miss dignity and formalism.

There is a time and place for all things under God's blue sky. i crave order, dignity, formalism and ritual.


We swung the pendulum too far - -------------------------- that way.

[Mark Doble]

Dr. Eugene White, the Superintendent of Indianapolis Public Schools, recently announced that cheering no longer would be allowed at the district’s high school graduations. His defense included the argument that high school graduation ceremonies are to be dignified.

"If you celebrate with disruptions you send the wrong message," White recently said. "I want graduation to be a formal ceremony."

His policy was put to the test last evening when the district held its first 2007 graduation ceremony. White reiterated what had been earlier announced in local media—there would be no celebrating after individual names are announced. Anyone breaching the policy would be ejected by police.

He kept his word. Early in the awarding of diplomas, a few applauded and cheered for a friend or family member. They were immediately escorted from the building. Others later celebrated and, with an air of self-centeredness, quickly walked out.

There has been a loss of ceremonial dignity not only at graduations but also at other landmark events. Many ceremonies have become opportunities for spectators to inappropriately express their feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. Participants often imagine themselves on a stage constructed for displaying their creativity.

Even weddings are becoming focal points for practical jokes and clever antics. The foolishness of smashing a piece of cake into the face of a new spouse at the reception is now rearing its ugly head at the wedding itself.

Photographers and videographers sometimes behave like paparazzi in pursuit of an award winning photo. At a recent wedding I performed, a photographer seemingly thought the best close-up pictures of the bride might be taken by standing between me and the groom. I paused between shutter clicks and whispered to him, “Either turn off your camera and sit down or take your pictures from the back of the church.” He sat down. I think he was angry.

I believe ceremonies marking the transitions of life are important. There are reasons many of our rites are public events. They are part of our culture’s infrastructure supporting values embedded in our society. They not only mark an achievement and a moment in time, they reflect who we are and what we consider to be important.

I hope Dr. White’s efforts spark a return to ceremonial dignity.

Celebrate with disruptions? I have been to many such events. I enjoy clapping for my son and his friends, and I continue to do so. Between students there is ample time. I see his point but do not think it is warranted. I would happily be ejected for standing up for my son.

[Joanne Vergin]

I think clapping was fine. It was the hooting and hollering he objected to.

[Belinda Y. Edwards]

Celebrate with disruptions? I have been to many such events. I enjoy clapping for my son and his friends, and I continue to do so. Between students there is ample time. I see his point but do not think it is warranted. I would happily be ejected for standing up for my son.

i totally disagree.

i was recently a part of a very elegant formal ceremony. This ceremony wasn't enjoyed by my family and close peers because of the rudeness of those sitting behind them. They were so loud during my walk across the stage that the words that i had labored over to be read during my walk weren't even heard.

You may think you have ample time. But, you are so caught up in your expression of joy that you don't realize the ceremony has moved forward to someone else.

i deplore the rudeness of our society.

i repeat - i crave dignity, order and respect.

[Ryan Scott]

I think there is a slight difference between a wedding and a high school graduation. There are times of solemnity and celebration at each. However, a graduation is about celebrating an individual achievement and those who supported its accomplishment. If you can't let loose and have fun then, why even show up? You get the diploma anyway.

As far as weddings go. I think the lack of ceremony there can easily be attributed to the fact that few people (outside a faith community) take it all that seriously anymore. To many it is just a ceremony without any greater meaning and thus gets treated that way.

[Marsha Lynn]

Dr. Eugene White, the Superintendent of Indianapolis Public Schools, recently announced that cheering no longer would be allowed at the district’s high school graduations. His defense included the argument that high school graduation ceremonies are to be dignified.

"If you celebrate with disruptions you send the wrong message," White recently said. "I want graduation to be a formal ceremony."

Well, if anyone can do formal, surely it's the Catholics. There was great pomp and circumstance at Sunday's University of Notre Dame du Lac commencement. All stood as the national anthem for Lithuania was played in honor of the president of that country who was receiving an honorary doctorate. (It was the first time I have ever been in the same room as a head of state.) And, yet, there was room for applause and even a little cheering. The culture, the great weight of tradition, said formal. Informality was a welcome relief from the formal silence.

I'm not sure how one fosters a general atmosphere of formality, but I think that's the key more than making rules. Some will chafe against formality and purposefully try to disrupt any solemn occasion in order to break the silence. Punishing them stirs up sympathy for them among the crowd. It is better for leaders to maintain their own dignity and to somehow turn the power of social pressure against the disrupters.

We attended two of the many events at Notre Dame for commencement weekend as our son received his diploma. Each started with an announcement requesting that, in honor of the solemnity of the occasion, everyone please silence all cell phones and pagers. Even something so simple as the tone used for such an announcement can cast a spell of formality over a gathering.

We were encouraged to applaud each graduate as their name was called during the political science ceremony, even those who weren't there. I observed something during that event. Graduates who decorate the tops of their caps generally belong to families who add loud cheering to the otherwise polite applause. (There were only a few.) Perhaps that school simply needs to do cap inspection at the door.

:basic02

Marsha

PS: The commencement ceremony Sunday ended with the singing of the alma mater song -- slow, solemn music about our Mother and the blue and gold in heaven. We were then asked to remain where we were while the faculty, administration and guests of honor recessed. As they went, the band struck up the Notre Dame fight song and the crowd was immediately on their feet, enthusiastically clapping and singing with the music. I noticed a tiny bit of gavotting among those exiting the platform. And yet it was formal. Formality is a tricky thing that has more to do with atmosphere than actual behavior.

[Barb Bouldrey]

Our high school has a real problem with extreme exhibitions at graduation. Some families bring whistles and horns and things to bang on. The school has tried to stop that, but each year it is the same. There is always a bunch who are rowdy, not just celebrating.

I see no harm in clapping as each name is called. At a university that is honoring 7500 graduates, it might be difficult to control the clapping and hear the next name.

That is the problem. I want to hear my relative's name called. If the family of the person before carries on so loudly that I cannot hear my relative's name called, it is upsetting.

We had a wedding Saturday that had a FIRST. When the photographer and his team arrived, he came to John and said, "Pastor, what directions do you have for me for this wedding?" John was stunned and said, "That is the first time a photographer ever asked that question." The photographer replied: "This is YOUR house, not mine. I will honor any directions you give me. We do not use any flashes during the ceremony."

Wow...what a refreshing that was. We never even saw that man during the ceremony. He was THAT good.

What bothers me is how the church has allowed the world to influence new traditions at church weddings. TV and movies make things done at weddings so "ROMANTIC" that these things now show up at church weddings. It has just been recently that our weddings have sparkling cider instead of the real stuff for the bride and groom....instead of punch. Now, every wedding has to have toasts given by the wedding party. And most of our weddings are at rented reception halls now so they can have a DJ and music and dance floor for that ROMANTIC first dance with the bride and groom.

I, too, hate that smashing of the cake onto the faces of the bride and groom.

Oh, I got off on my soap box about weddings.....LOL I had better stop before I start ranting about the costs.

Barb

[Ryan Scott]

I think the cake smashing is essentially over. I know I'm a lot younger than many of you, but I've been to several dozen weddings in my life and have yet to see the cake smashing thing anywhere but television.

Most all of my friends are too scared of their new wife's (or their new mother in law's) reaction to attempt any sort of messy cake feeding.

I was at a wedding this past weekend that had a great presence about it. The groomsmen all gave the groom a kiss on the cheek as they came in (which visibly helped relax the groom) and of course there was some cheering at the end, during the kiss, but between time it was a very worshipful service. I was impressed to notice the photographers were at the back and relatively invisible the entire time.

[Belinda Y. Edwards]

I was at a wedding this past weekend that had a great presence about it. The groomsmen all gave the groom a kiss on the cheek as they came in (which visibly helped relax the groom) and of course there was some cheering at the end, during the kiss, .

oohhhhhhhhh

uh uhm

hmmm

A very perfect example of culture being different in different places.

If the groomsmen came in and gave the groom a kiss on the cheek here --- it would NOT visibly relax the groom. uh - uhm.......

oh - this would be bad.

uh huh

[Ryan Scott]

Well he was a bit unnerved after the first one, but they're all his friends and by the time groomsman #6 came along, everyone had a good chuckle and it was time to get down to business. One of the best and least disruptive "pranks" I've witnessed at a wedding.

[Barb Bouldrey]

At the wedding we had Saturday, the groom smashed the cake in the brides face. The wedding a week earlier it did not happen.

The unexpected funny things at a wedding make it memorable.

Now, back to graduations. I dislike attending graduations. They are boring to me. I dislike "Pomp and Circumstance." I wish all graduation ceremonies were one hour in length. LOL

No one remembers one word spoken at a graduation....one year later.

Barb

[Marsha Gupton]

I attended my cousin's graduation Friday in Knoxville, TN. All the high schools in Knoxville have their graduations at a certain location. This year it was at the convention center. When Katie's two brothers graduated, the ceremony was at the Thompson-Boling arena on the UT Campus. When the graduation was at UT, the crowd was unruly. This time, I thought the crowd was more ruly but there were the air horns and shouting from time to time.

We did not make a scene when katie's name was called. Rather we chose to hear her name called and quietly see her receive her diploma. We celebrated afterwards at the house.

One high school in Hendersonville (outside of Nashville) has their graduation at a local church. I'm hoping they have a dignified ceremony. However, that school gives out tickets to the graduates and you can only attend if you have a ticket. I guess this is for crowd control.

The best that I can remember, my graduation was dignified except for my friend, Ozzie, who decided to kiss the floor when he got his diploma. hahah:fav18

[Wilson L. Deaton]

I believe ceremonies marking the transitions of life are important. There are reasons many of our rites are public events.

The following is a slightly-abridged copy of an article I wrote (published in, Church Administration) that talks about the reasons for these ceremonies and includes application to ministry. I'm not sure I agree that "formality" is a necessary element to fulfill the purposes public rites of passage serve. I believe that "dignity" in this regard must be labeled as a preference, not a functional requirement.

MINISTERING THROUGH RITES OF PASSAGE
by
Wilson L. Deaton

Sam Gill, in Beyond "the Primitive", relates a scenario that is fairly representative of the initiation rite into manhood of the people of Western Australia.1 The rite includes a mock kidnapping, terrorizing the victim, and physical abuse including the knocking out of teeth.

What would cause a group of men to do something so cruel and horrifying to young boys? Why would mothers let them get away with it? ... The truth is, in spite of the extremely dysfunctional aspects of this, and other similar rites of passage, such rites have very important sociological functions.

The key to understanding what those functions are is to first understand the occasions around which these rites occur. Ordinarily, rites of this kind mark the more, "critical events in the life of an individual. As such, they usually mark domestic events--births, the attainment of adult status, marriage, or death."2

When one of these so-called critical events takes place, adjustments have to be made because sociological changes occur. Specifically, from that point forward, the people involved assume new roles. The number of people involved may surprise you at times.

Take for example the birth of a child. When that happens, at least two people become parents. Others become grandparents. Still others become uncles and aunts, cousins, siblings, etc. Or, note what happens with a marriage. Two singles join the ranks of the married. If the bride is an only child her parents become "empty nesters" as well as in-laws. A younger sister may suddenly become the oldest child at home.

On top of that, any one person may face more than one role change. Take the case of a widowed pastor's wife. When her pastor/husband died, she moved from her role as wife to that of widow with all the sociological factors involved. At the same time, she lost her unique "job"--that of being the pastor's wife. She may have been legally unemployed for years, but now she is truly unemployed.

Whenever role changes take place, adjustments must be made. Thus enters the "rite of passage." In short, the function of rites of passage is to facilitate change.

Malefijt cites Arnold van Gennep explaining that rites of passage facilitate change in two ways. First, it helps the individual through the change. And, secondly, it helps prepare society for new roles.3 How is this carried out? Malefijt explains,

Rituals of this nature are composed of three elements: separation, transition, and reintegration. The element of separation disengages the individual from his former status; that of transition gradually removes the barriers to the new status; and that of reintegration marks his acceptance in his newly acquired status.4

...

The same three steps can be found in our own modern Christian church weddings. As the couple comes forward away from the congregation and the parents of the bride give her away, separation occurs. Transition takes place in the reciting of vows and placing rings on one another's fingers and through the ceremony of the unity candles. Reintegration is seen when the veil is lifted away, the couple kisses, and are introduced as Mr. and Mrs. The process culminates with the receiving line, reception, and the honeymoon send off.

Besides facilitating change, as a fringe benefit, rites of passage can also facilitate bonding. ... After such an initiation rite there will often be loyalties and friendships formed that may last a lifetime...

Just how important are rites of passage? Think of how cruel and inhu mane the example from Western Australia seems and take note that it is but one example. One may very well conclude that if the function of the rite was not so important, the dysfunctional aspects would cause it to be phased out. Wedding ceremonies provide an example that is closer to home. Recall the planning, preparation, and expense involved in good old-fashioned Christian weddings. There are reasons involved far deeper than creating photo opportunities.

What does this have to say to the Christian minister? Simply this: if rites of passage are so important--to the extent of being effective and helpful, in spite of highly dysfunctional aspects--why not use them in your own ministry as you go about trying to meet people's needs?

How do you go about developing a "rite of passage" ministry? First, begin using your current rites of passage repertoire to its fullest advantage.

Marriage may be the ideal place to start. For some time you have been using the rite of passage we call, "the wedding ceremony." Start exploiting what you know about the importance of rites of passage. For example, in your premarital counseling, discuss with the couple the idea of the role changes that will take place and point out how the various aspects of the ceremony correlate with those changes.

At times, during the wedding ceremony itself, you may want to make explicit some of the things that are ordinarily just implicit. As you personalize the ceremony with your own personal remarks, point out to the parents of the bride that they will need to work on a new kind of relationship with their daughter from then on. Explain to the groom's single friends that their friendship will not end but its expressions will have to change.

Do the same with baptisms, reception of church members, and baby dedications. Think through how the ritual symbolizes the separation, transition, and reintegration of those involved. Enhance that symbolism by specifically pointing it out in your pre-ritual counseling and discussions, as well as during the ritual itself.

Making the most of your existing rituals is only the first step. Don't stop there. Be creative. Consider creating local rites of passage for your own congregation. Just think of all the "critical" times in people's lives for which we do not have prescribed rituals: putting a first child in school, sending a last child to college, buying a first home, starting a new job, retiring from an old job.... A rite of passage could help smooth the transition in each case.

What would your own local rite of passage look like? That depends on your local situation and your own imagination but to prime the pump, consider the following possibility:

At the appropriate time in the worship service, the pastor steps off the platform and invites Mr. Dunnworking and his wife to join him in front of the altar. The pastor announces to the congregation that Mr. Dunnworking is retiring after 37 years of loyal service to his company (separation). The pastor shares an appropriate Scripture and talks briefly, no more than a minute or two, about the changes retirement brings and assures Mr. Dunnworking that retirement does not have to mean leading a non-productive life. To the contrary, the pastor reminds Mr. Dunnworking that he will now have more time for important volunteer work (transition). After prayer, all the retirees are invited to stand and come forward to shake hands and welcome Mr. Dunnworking to their ranks (bonding). The ritual concludes when the pastor announces that Mr. Dunnworking will be standing with him after the service so everyone may wish him well as they exit (reintegration).

Perhaps your congregation is too large to make these and other varied rites of passage practical. That doesn't mean you should ignore them. Create similar rituals but use them in settings other than the morning worship service. Drop in on Mr. Dunnworking's Sunday School class and do it. Or perhaps your Mr. Dunnworking directs the choir; interrupt his next choir practice and conduct the ritual there. Once again the call is one for creativity.

Notice in the example just given, the ritual was made distinctly Christian through the use of Scripture reading and prayer. Instead of a dysfunctional ritual serving a useful purpose you will be using a highly functional ritual to serve this useful purpose.

It has been said that you can't step into the same river twice. Neither can you step into the midst of the same congregation twice. Even when it is made up of the same people, the people aren't all the same. As they live their lives they go through changes or "passages." Whether a good change or a bad change, nearly all change has an uncomfortable aspect. At times it can even be downright traumatic. As a Christian minister seeking to minister to the whole person, your ministry should include comfort for those uncomfortable moments. The creative use of rites of passage could prove to be your most effective means of providing that comfort.

__________


1Sam Gill, Beyond the Primitive: the Religions of Nonliterate Peoples (New Jersey: Prentice Hall, 1982), p. 78.

2Annemarie De Waal Malefijt, Religion and Culture (London: Collier-Macmillan Limited, 1968), p. 190.

3Ibid.

4Ibid.