Something funny happened yesterday...

[David Pettigrew]

...after the AM service. We have a lady who was saved a couple of months ago, so she's still very new. She works at Dillard's department store.

I stand at the main entrance at the end of each service and shake hands with everyone as they leave. This lady made a beeline for me, and I could tell there was something on her mind.

"Pastor, who is making the announcements tonight?"

"Umm...I don't know. Probably me."

"Well, I have a very important announcement that you need to make. Tomorrow at Dillards, they're running a special from 11:00 AM to 4:00 PM. For every lady that comes by and gets fitted for a bra, they're going to donate $2.00 to the American Breast Cancer Society. I'll be here tonight to remind you in case you forget."

I worried all afternoon how I was going to get out of making an announcement for ladies to go get fitted for a bra. Fortunately, the lady didn't make it back to church that night. It was the first time I've ever been thankful that a new Christian wasn't in church!

It's so fun when somebody accidentally gets saved and doesn't know the rules...

[Mike Wooldridge]

I'm sure would have made the announcement in an uplifting way, David. ;)

[David Pettigrew]

I'm sure would have made the announcement in an uplifting way, David. ;)

Yes, I thought about starting it with "And here's a new development we'd like to keep you abreast of..."

[Mike Wooldridge]

You know if she reads NazNet you're busted.:eek:

[David Pettigrew]

I thought about that. I'd hate to cause a cleavage in our body. Especially right now when everyone's cups are running over.

[Mike Wooldridge]

When Miss Ann sees this thread, we are SO BOPPED! :fun03 :fun03 :fun03:fun03 :fun03 :fun03 :fun03 :eek:

[Sue Pyles]

I think you better be careful. She may be a good supporter of the church.
You could have concluded your announcement with the congregation singing "How Firm
a Foundation." For those less fortunate you would sing "Fill My Cup Lord".
since she wasn't there I guess we'll just have to wait to see what developes.

[Mike Wooldridge]

Well, we need to keep the thread contained so it doesn't come undone.

[David Pettigrew]

Upon further investigation, Dillard's is offering four types of bras - Catholic, Nazarene, Presbyterian, and Baptist

Catholic - supports the masses
Nazarene - lifts the fallen
Presbyterian - keeps things staunch and upright
Baptist - makes mountains out of molehills

(and a collective groan was heard throughout naznet - dom)

[Gina Stevenson]

Oh, dear ... just shaking my head here ... wondering how supportive of this thread I ought to be ... or not. :basic05

[Andrea Larabee]

R O T F L O L!!!:M)

This thread is too funny!

[Mike Wooldridge]

Oh, dear ... just shaking my head here ... wondering how supportive of this thread I ought to be ... or not. :basic05
Well, I wouldn't want you to get hooked on a thread that would make you feel strapped. :q)

[Jen Blackburn]

oh . my . goodness . i can't stop laughing!!

[Gina Stevenson]

David, here's hoping that if this gal who's the new excited Christian is computer savvy, and finds NazNet through a "Nazarene" search, that she'll see we're not poking fun at her, so she won't get discouraged.

We hereby note --- if you have found us ;) --- that we tend to pick on those we like, not those we don't like. So, consider yourself part of NazNet and join in ... if you're lurking here, that is. ;)

[Dana Grant]

GROANING

GROANING


GROANING


GROANING.........

LOL

On a more serious note, however.........you COULD have said "For all the ladies in the church, see Ms. Smith after the service for a special announcement...." or something like that.

Still GROANING, though............

[Anne and Dwayne Hood]

OK Mike, I certainly would not want to disappoint a one of you, so I will add my 2 cents to what you naughty minded
people wrote.

Post your opinion, if you just must--GINA, DAVID, MIKE, etal, but don't expect me to answer you. Everyone that believes that RAISE your big toe on your left foot.

Let's see-David, you are the one that started this whole thing. Aren't you ashamed of yourself. I am your elder, so straighten up and fly right, or you are going to be VERY sorry indeed. What Nazetter do you think you will see next? Tell them to contact me.

I could add something VERY funny to this, but I won't.

[Mike Wooldridge]

Everyone that believes that RAISE your big toe on your left foot.
Thank you Anne, for giving a LIFT to the thread AND taking time to SEPARATE the issues. Do you enjoy PLAYing with us TEXans? :q)

[Gina Stevenson]

Thank you Anne, for giving a LIFT to the thread AND taking time to SEPARATE the issues. Do you enjoy PLAYing with us TEXans? :q)

All right! I tried to smooth things over for y'all a few posts ago, David and Mike, and [well, I even made a smart one awhile back, didn't I, so for all of us] ... and now y'all are trying to get it going again.

Of CORSET's getting so out of hand now, that I just might BOP you myself! :eek: :basic05 :fun03

[Anne and Dwayne Hood]

David, no wonder you are afraid to show your face on Naznet--with all the bad things you are posting. Do you want me to stand up and tell the people at Forrest City, Sunday, how bad you are? Then, they can write or call and tell your dad.

[Mike Wooldridge]

Uh-Oh David, Miss Anne's gonna telly your Daddy, Nanny-Nanny-Boo-Boo!

[Mike Wooldridge]

Of CORSET's getting so out of hand now, that I just might BOP you myself! :eek: :basic05 :fun03
Yep, looks like this thread might GIRDLE the globe! :rolleyes:

[David Pettigrew]

Wow, I can't believe somebody hijacked my avatar and started this entirely inappropriate thread in my name! I'll have to contact the moderator.

:basic03:basic03:basic03:basic03

[David Pettigrew]

One last thing...

...after reading this thread, I think we need to all ask ourselves the question from the old song - "Are your garments spotless? Are they white as snow?".

[Gina Stevenson]

One last thing...

...after reading this thread, I think we need to all ask ourselves the question from the old song - "Are your garments spotless? Are they white as snow?".

Sooooo old-fashioned, David, when there's such colorful stuff out there nowadays. White!? :basic05

[Anne and Dwayne Hood]

David, some of my clothes are not spotless. But, I prefer to wait until I have a full washer load, before I wash them. But, I seldom wear white clothes. A lady at church told me, once, when I wore a white blouse, that I looked like death warmed over. You probably know that the members can say anything they want to to the pastor's wife, and we are to just laugh or smile and take it in a cool, calm way.
Example: When we stepped out of the car, arriving at a place Dwayne was going to be their new pastor, a man looked at me, and said, "This church killed our last pastor's wife's baby." I thought, "This church is not going to kill my baby," and it didn't, but three months from that day (9-29), our son had been born, operated on twice, and was burried Dec. 29th.

[Mike Wooldridge]

One last thing...

...after reading this thread, I think we need to all ask ourselves the question from the old song - "Are your garments spotless? Are they white as snow?".
Hmmm, I wonder if that would be a "whitey-tighty." :q)

[Carsten Schermuly]

The short church characters I did copy to some german christian forums - and they will get a giant success, pretty good attention!



Upon further investigation, Dillard's is offering four types of bras - Catholic, Nazarene, Presbyterian, and Baptist

Catholic - supports the masses
Nazarene - lifts the fallen
Presbyterian - keeps things staunch and upright
Baptist - makes mountains out of molehills

[Carsten Schermuly]

No, it is nothing to be ashamed about.

Who does not love that - äh - that hot theme?
It were against mens nature not to love it.
Just our societies conventions does not allow to speak about and
we shall live a clean lifestyle not to lead someone to sin.

My mind - the second human model is a much better product as the first have been.
Women (especially mothers) are mindst the living peace and they got more good sides, men do not have.

[David Ward]

Most of the creative comments expressed in this thread I've heard before ... in fact I thought I was at work while reviewing them! :M)

Our walls and conference rooms contain posters and product samples, so I guess I'm somewhat immune to any reservations surrounding that which we call innerwear. There have been a few times where I thought marketing was pushing it and I've voiced my opinion to my supervisors. As employees, we go through a sexual harassment refresher course each year to keep our products and our attitudes in a healthy balance.

My profile on the old Naznet board software mentioned my employer, who at that time was Sara Lee Corporation. In September, 2006, SLC spun off the apparel holdings into its own company (see www.hanesbrands.com for more info). Before the spin occurred, we joked of a joint marketing campaign of the businesses of "Eat this (cheesecake), Wear this (girdles)". Back in the 1980's when Sara Lee acquired us, Johnny Carson made suggestions for a new company slogan - "We have all your buns covered".

A humorous example of a "misunderstanding" within our congregation occurred over 7 years ago when I was talking to another company employee (a lady) who attended our church. Reorganization was occurring and I was asking her where she fell into the new structure. Another male church member walked up just as she told me "Oh, I'm not in underwear anymore". After a few seconds (but what seemed like an eternity), he shook his head, rolled his eyes, said he didn't want to know any more, and walked off . . . :o

[Mike Wooldridge]

A humorous example of a "misunderstanding" within our congregation occurred over 7 years ago when I was talking to another company employee (a lady) who attended our church. Reorganization was occurring and I was asking her where she fell into the new structure. Another male church member walked up just as she told me "Oh, I'm not in underwear anymore". After a few seconds (but what seemed like an eternity), he shook his head, rolled his eyes, said he didn't want to know any more, and walked off . . . :o
ROFLOL :fav17

[Sue Pyles]

My cup runneth over with all the Joy I have recieved from this thread.
It's been very uplifting and to the point.

[David Pettigrew]

if this thread continues to grow, it will need a reduction! stop the madness

(this post written by david's wife)

[Carsten Schermuly]

David described a misunderstanding.

In our Berlin - community was in the eigthies a Mrs. Blümchen (I changed the name). She lived lonely and was a kind mind. She liked small talks. She had none to talk to, so she was interested in her community - family. She had a good parents home, so she was correct and polite. As long she was not a reborn christian, she used the polite form "Mrs. Schermuly" and "Sie" instead of the intime form "Ruth" and "Du".

In the time, the grandparents of Ruth, living near Fankfurt / Main have been sick and died with a short time distance to another, we have been often on the roads between Frankfurt and Berlin. In winter because snow and cold not easy, with little children in car. Sometimes we took the train (it was cheaper than car) - but no more in winter because as long the train was transported by the DDR - Reichsbahn, the waggons have not been heated, inside have been the same temperatures like outside. Later in Westgermany with another lokomotive by the Bundesbahn they have been heated up. Clean a little babies bottom in zero - temperatures? Impossible. And the train was slow - the Reichsbahn had no money for new rails, so over some distances the speed was down to 30 km / h - 20 m / h.
On the train station Halle / Saale the train regularily did wait for one hour. The whole journey across the DDR did need too much time.

We had our Berlin household and the grandparents household. For many times Ruth was with her grandparents and I was in Berlin. Once we had to hurry, we took also a plane to Frankfurt. We had stress - and this is visible in faces.

Mrs. Blümchen watched this and left many wellminded comments. We did know us best and there was no shadow over our relation. On one sunday she told me "Mr. Schermuly, you do look bad."
I whispered back behind my hand with an expressive serious face:
"Please, tell it never another one, OK? I trust in your understanding. (She showed by her mimic, she did agree.) I do not only look bad - I am bad."
She had a good laughter.
She was beloved by everybody. I think back to her with love.

[Carsten Schermuly]

"I am bad" - in double sense. Our common main theme was forgiveness. To be bad means to be a sinner, right? Bad boy - naughty boy - will not turn off from sin. Mrs. Blümchen does know well to differ. "I am bad" could have been interpreted also as "I know, my health is down, my bodies condition is weak, I should sleep longer or more" etc
She had the choice, in what sense she should understand it. She did understand the way I liked and laughed. As I have said - we did know each other best.

[Carsten Schermuly]

Ruth and I looked to get extra wide winter clothes. During the train journey across the DDR we took our children in front inside of our mantel or coat to keep them warm. A good method, a sure method. We looked like sacks - in our too wide clothes - but does that matter?

[Mike Wooldridge]

if this thread continues to grow, it will need a reduction! stop the madness

(this post written by david's wife)

Our sanity seems to be hanging by a thread! :eek:

[Carsten Schermuly]

I think, it is on everybodies own to know once mind does beat: "Have I done a step too much?"

I do not think, this thread is really questionable.
Such things do happen everywhere and it is not wrong to talk about to be better prepared for similar situations.

[Carsten Schermuly]

It was the first time I've ever been thankful that a new Christian wasn't in church!This phrase made Ruth most laughing.
She did not read, I told her. Since our youngest boys do have good comrades as classmates and are often off from home, Ruth & me are sometimes lonely on lunch table, so we can share things, that were not good for our boys ears.

[Carsten Schermuly]

ANNO DOMINI 1979 and two years later again our Berlin community had "days of silence" (two and three weeks vacations, including bible studies and prayers) in a christian home for families (140 beds) in a small town named Bischofsheim in the Rhön mountains in Bavaria.

http://www.hohe-rhoen.org/start.htm - german

sidewalk
This houses played an important role in the nazi era as post office for messages between several restistance groups. Owners are truely reborn children of the Lord, now already in third generation. A very blessed place.
sidewalk end

With the families have been also unmarried. One morning a young mother war hunting after her little children across staircase to reach the bathrooms with showers. She did wear over her nightcloth a "bath mantle". Cotton Frottee in light pink. Such mantle is also seen on beaches, in public bathes and it is no vialotion against good manners to walk in. Also not for this situation: "Oh no! Where are my kids?"

A young unmarried man met her on the stair, he was coming down - and quickly he covered his eyes by hands and turned his back to her once she came upwards the stair like a stormwind. He lost balance and did fall - and with him the young mother - both got some black spots.

Others stepped into the scene to help, we did hear their bouncing down the wooden stairs.

I think, the young man did overreact.

Later we have talked about - it was also sense of our common vacancies to be able to dive in deeper relations - and have got unity as this story was absolutely harmless.

[Edith K. Thurmond]

This thread seems as if it would be entirely appropriate for an episode of The Simpsons. Bart and his clan seem to operate out of arrested development, ie, speaking and acting like many 13-15 year old teens.

It is a wonderful thing that the works of authors such as Jane Austen are being brought to the front in entertainment circles. We need more sensibility and civility in our collective deportment. :basic01

Sincerely,

[Mike Wooldridge]

Thank you for that uplifting post, Edith. :basic03

[Edith K. Thurmond]

Thank you for that uplifting post, Edith. :basic03

:(
Now exiting from this thread.

Respectfully,

[Carsten Schermuly]

This thread seems as if it would be entirely appropriate for an episode of The Simpsons. Bart and his clan seem to operate out of arrested development, ie, speaking and acting like many 13-15 year old teens.

It is a wonderful thing that the works of authors such as Jane Austen are being brought to the front in entertainment circles. We need more sensibility and civility in our collective deportment. :basic01

Sincerely,I wonder how a fine Lady like you does know the Simpsons Gang.

WOULD YOU SAY, YOU DID WATCH THAT NAUGHTY FOLKS IN TV?

If so,
I will inform the inquisition!

[Anne and Dwayne Hood]

The commercials about the Simpsons, do not look as if they are something that I would like to view, so I never have. Would you believe it, if I told you that I do not watch one hour per month of TV?--not saying that it is wrong, if the program is decent, but TV bores me. I like Current Events, history, documentaries, etc. if I do watch something.

[G R 'Scott' Cundiff]

While this is no reflection on anyone who has posted to this thread, I am acting as moderator to close it to further posting. At this point I think folks have had time to come up with about every pun and word play possible and all that is left is discussion that is not going to take NazNet in any positive direction.

Let's let this topic go and move on to other things please.