Mens' English

[Mike Wooldridge]

From www.jibjab.com

Men's Speech Patterns

"I can't find it"
MEANS: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I am completely clueless.

"That's women's work"
MEANS: It's difficult, dirty, and thankless.

"It's a guy thing."
MEANS: There's no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.

"It would take too long to explain"
MEANS: I have no idea how it works.

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
MEANS: I forgot our anniversary again.

"I brought you a present."
MEANS: It was free ice scraper night at the ball/hockey game.

"I missed you."
MEANS: I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry, and we're out of toilet paper.

"I'm not lost; I know exactly where we are."
MEANS: No one will ever see us alive again.

"I don't need to read the instructions."
MEANS: I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help.

[Joanne Vergin]

Some of these also apply to the parent/child relationship! :)

[Carsten Schermuly]

Once Upon A Time

I watched a daddy, "I know that without reading the instruction" building up in garden a "twenty second tent" as training.
He liked to go with his both 9 and 11aged boys in the Grand Smokeys for next weekend White Water Rafting.

After an half hour the boys entered the kitchen,
told mami that problem and dad were to his sports club to meet friends
(he nearby got an heart attack at least before he left the scene of the drama, "that tent were made by incompetent people"),

she read,
she went out and did it in twenty seconds.