We Went to The Mall Today

[Hal Paul]

Probably not the mall you first thought of when you read the thread title. We went to the Mall in Washington DC, the national park that contains the Washington Monument, Lincoln Memorial among other monuments of national significance. We met our friends who live Northern Virginia who we also spent thanksgiving day with. Our rendezvous point was the Smithsonian "castle" visitor center after traveling via Metro from our respective houses.

While we were waiting to meet them, I noticed a homeless man, using a sewing kit to repair some old clothing. This man was in the visitors center getting shelter from the cold, and obviously preparing for a long night outside, if he couldn't get into a shelter. He was out of the way of the crowd, in a place where he could easily be ignored, which he was, by the hundreds of tourists who decided to see the nations capitol rather than brave the shoping rush of "Black Friday."

This man was sitting out of the way of the main crowd, but happened to be next to an empty bistro table where we sat down to wait for our friends. Quietly working away, sewing a lining into an old coat. Because of the large number of homeless who always seem to be on the mall, Londa and I have kind of developed a habit that whenever we are on the mall, we give something to some of the homeless people we see there. So after we hooked up with our friends, and got up to leave, I took a moment and asked if he would mind if I gave him something and handed him a small amount of cash. He looked me in the eye, the only time I saw him look at anyone, smiled, took the money and thanked me. I told him he was welcome, then I left.

Later in the day, we were confronted by a beggar who was asking for money so she could buy dinner. She was fairly aggressive, but did allow room so that we could get by without giving her anything if we choose. I gave her something as well, but not as much as the guy in the Smithsonian.

I know some people say we shouldn't give money to beggars or homeless, because they will just take it and buy alcohol. I've also heard the stories about professional beggars, that have a fairly substantial income from panhandling. Yet there are times that it just seems right that I give something to people I meet who appear to be in need.

So, what do you do when a panhandler asks you for money? How about the homeless person who isn't asking for anything, but is just sitting in some public place passing time? Do you give, when do you give, what do you give? What is your reason for giving or not giving?

[Bob Evans]

Hal

My rule of thumb is simple. I will not give money directly to the person. I will buy food and Gas if I have the time and the money. In fact my offer of food or gas purchase usually is an acid test of true intentions. If my offer is accepted there usually asking for something they need. But if they refuse for whatever reason there are usually other goals for the money.

Sometimes the homeless just need someone to talk to as well.

[Marg Webb]

I have always given a small amount of money as we are usually not close to purchase food.
I just say something kind to them and mention Jesus in a way that they always listen and do not seem to mind.
What is a dollar or two if it is really needed, if not that is not my problem.
Now one man wanted us to match his change so that he could buy a drink. My husband just laughed with the guy and we went on. I rather respected the drunk for his honesty.
We have people here on the road with sign's saying "will work for food".
I ALWAYS, drive to a close grocery and purchase milk.
One day I did that and the man said thanks and down the little hill were several jug's of milk.:)
I am a real "sucker" when someone asks for food.
Marg.

[Gina Stevenson]

'Just the other day someone tapped on my window at a gas station, so I put i down a bit {thinking perhaps they were telling me about leaving my gas cap off, or some silly thing like I might do ;)). Nope. This kid (teen) was asking me if I could give her some money for a soda/Coke/whatever she called it.

Told her, "No, I'm sorry; I don't give $$ for things like that that aren't good for one, anyway; try water" (that last part with a smile, of course). ;)

[Anne and Dwayne Hood]

A man whose mother attends the church we do, has a son who has come here 3-4 times wanting money, for gas, he claims. We know better. The last time, Dwayne followed him to a gas station. He tried to get Dwayne to give the money to him, instead of buying gas. Dwayne put $10 worth of gas in his car. He has not been back.

[Dave McClung]

Probably not the mall you first thought of when you read the thread title. We went to the Mall in Washington DC, the national park that contains the Washington Monument, Lincoln Memorial among other monuments of national significance. We met our friends who live Northern Virginia who we also spent thanksgiving day with. Our rendezvous point was the Smithsonian "castle" visitor center after traveling via Metro from our respective houses.

While we were waiting to meet them, I noticed a homeless man, using a sewing kit to repair some old clothing. This man was in the visitors center getting shelter from the cold, and obviously preparing for a long night outside, if he couldn't get into a shelter. He was out of the way of the crowd, in a place where he could easily be ignored, which he was, by the hundreds of tourists who decided to see the nations capitol rather than brave the shoping rush of "Black Friday."

This man was sitting out of the way of the main crowd, but happened to be next to an empty bistro table where we sat down to wait for our friends. Quietly working away, sewing a lining into an old coat. Because of the large number of homeless who always seem to be on the mall, Londa and I have kind of developed a habit that whenever we are on the mall, we give something to some of the homeless people we see there. So after we hooked up with our friends, and got up to leave, I took a moment and asked if he would mind if I gave him something and handed him a small amount of cash. He looked me in the eye, the only time I saw him look at anyone, smiled, took the money and thanked me. I told him he was welcome, then I left.

Later in the day, we were confronted by a beggar who was asking for money so she could buy dinner. She was fairly aggressive, but did allow room so that we could get by without giving her anything if we choose. I gave her something as well, but not as much as the guy in the Smithsonian.

I know some people say we shouldn't give money to beggars or homeless, because they will just take it and buy alcohol. I've also heard the stories about professional beggars, that have a fairly substantial income from panhandling. Yet there are times that it just seems right that I give something to people I meet who appear to be in need.

So, what do you do when a panhandler asks you for money? How about the homeless person who isn't asking for anything, but is just sitting in some public place passing time? Do you give, when do you give, what do you give? What is your reason for giving or not giving?

It depends on the circumstance.

While we were in China, Linda went agaist the instructions of our tour guide and tried to slip some coins to a beggar. Within 30 seconds, Linda was mobbed. I had to jump between her and mob. I escorted her to the tour bus. Once she got on, the beggers didn't try to enter the bus, but still begged through the windows.

I rarely give money to anyone who is smoking. Perhaps that is my own prejudice, but if I person can afford to smoke, they can afford to eat.

[Brad Mercer]

For years I worked in downtown Dallas and lived in the suburbs (because the jobs were downtown and housing was much cheaper in the suburbs). My office window looked down on a newsstand, the original Niemann Marcus store and a bar. I'd watch a panhandler collect money from business people coming out of the Niemann Marcus or the newstand. I noticed, by the way, that African-Americans gave more money with less hesitancy, than white people did. I also noticed that the panhandler, as soon as he had collected enough money, would go to the liquor store, buy a bottle of liquor or wine and disappear. I went to a downtown Burger King and bought a booklet of maybe $20-40 worth of gift cards redeemable for food and drink from Burger King. When I panhandler asked me for money, I'd give him enough of those for a Burger King meal.

When I was a teen, my dad was a pastor and our house was very obviously the parsonage. My dad was also the person with the local ministerial alliance responsible for individual compassionate ministries. We heard many stories from many con artists who only wanted cash, drugs or liquor.

Then at the Richardson Church of the Nazarene in my 30's, I was on the board of stewards, which rotated responsibility for compassionate ministries.

I decided that it wasn't really Christian to settle into a world view that absolved me ultimately of all responsibilities for the poor. But I discovered that we'd start out in that role all starry-eyed and tender-hearted; then after a couple of years or so, we'd be so jaded we wouldn't give a handout to Mother Theresa. That was why we rotated the job.

We had a system whereby we never gave cash. If they needed their rent paid, we'd confirm with the property manager that they were about to be evicted, and we'd pay it. If they needed a place to stay for the night, we had an arrangement with a local motel to put them up for the night. If they needed food or a prescription filled, we'd go to the grocery store or pharmacy and buy the food or prescription.

Once we bought a distributor cap for a guy. Later the auto parts store manager called and told us the guy had just been in to get a refund on the distributor cap, and that that was the 6th time he'd done that this week.

It was the best system we could think of and it was clearly far from perfect. We decided that to love and get taken advantage of was better than any other life we could choose.

Brad

[Christine Josephson]

Some years ago when I lived in California I was stopped by a man and his little girl in the grocery store parking lot they were looking for money. I told him I didn't have money (I never seem to have cash) but offered him milk and a loaf of bread from my cart. He took the milk and then asked the little girl if she liked that kind of bread at which she turned it down. Pretty selective.

I remember my grandmother giving milk and sandwiches to the beggars that came to her back door. Some were thankful and some turned it down in search for something else.

I have learned in my 15 years working for the Office of Public Assistance (welfare)that there are those that are deserving and those that don't need it and sometimes it is a surprise to which is which. The old saying you can't judge a book by its cover.

I guess I feel that we should have discernment along with our compassion.

[Mamie White]

When my daughter lived in Center, TX, they were just barely surviving. Her husband left on Monday and came home on Friday, making sure he did not leave her any extra money. He was very controlling and barely left them food on the table. But one day she went to WalMart and as she left there was a man with a sign "Work for food or diapers". She drove by, turned around and went back and told him, "I have no food to share but I have six diapers and I will be glad to give those to you." He took the diapers and thanked her. She forgot about it.

About a year later, she had another baby about 3 months old. Her husband left her again for the week and no money. The baby had 1 diaper left and she went outside sat in lawn chair wondering what to do. We were in AR and knew nothing about her needs. Well, a car kept going by real slow and the woman kept looking at her. She came by 3 times and acted as if she was going to stop and Amanda was getting scared. The car came again and turned in. This is the conversation, woman driving the car, "I don't know why I stopped here but do you have a small baby." This really scared Amanda but she said, "Yes, 3 months old." The lady said, "God has impressed upon me to give you these things. My daughter just lost a baby who was 3 months old and she told me to take these diapers to Goodwill."
But I really feel God wants me to give you these diapers." Her backseat was full of disposable diapers and she gave all of them to Amanda. When Amanda started back in the house, wondering how this miracle took place.
She heard these words, "Remember the man at WalMarts." It was nearly 2 months before she had to buy diapers, there were so many of them. So to this day, Amanda is the first to give to anyone asking for help.

This does not happened to everyone but it did with her.
I have always told my children, When you give someone anything including money it is no longer yours. What they do with the money is how they are held accountable. You are held accountable only to helping the needing.

[Ian Gentles]

Police nicked many proffesional beggers, trust me they make more than you do! OK help the poor, but find out who they really are!

http://iangentles.livejournal.com

[Greg Farra]

I don't usually give money, but once in a while I will if the person is creative in their story.

One time I offered to but a guy a meal and got cussed out.

I have learned to zone most beggars out.

I don't know if that's right, but I like being a good steward of my money.

[Amanda Contento]

A good steward of "whose" money?

[Anne and Dwayne Hood]

The story about the diapers is precious. That is the way our Lord works.
MANY years ago, I felt impressed to send $50 to a couple at NBC. That left very little in our check book until Dwayne's next pay from the state. On Sunday night, some former members came into town and to church. As were talking, and she was writing a check. It was $50 for something they owed us. Dwayne has said to pay it whenever they could. I had totally forgotten about their owing anything to us.

[DA Weaver]

My husband drives through the Pittsburgh, PA area quite often. He's become quite used to who the professional panhandlers are. Because of it, he will not hand money out. However, he's not afraid to tell them where he knows a company is hiring, etc... One day, as we were talking on the phone a guy approached him begging for money. I heard my husband tell him that the company's policy was the drivers were not allowed to carry cash. The guy went on his way.

On another note, just a couple of weeks ago I went to our local grocery store. As I was loading my groceries in the cart, a little guy I recognized approached me and asked me if he could help me unload. He shared about how he was trying to help his dad raise money to get the car fixed. 99% of the time I still wouldn't have given anything. However, this little guy is affiliated with our church. I knew the story about fixing the car probably wasn't the whole truth, but knowing I was probably getting scammed out of a dollar, I went along with it. I opened my wallet, told him I had two dollars left. He could have one, but I was keeping the other. I decided at that moment I wasn't investing into having his dad's car repaired, I was investing into making a connection with this child.

Every ounce of my being wanted to tell the little boy that I suggested his dad go and get a job. However, I knew if I gave this child my dollar that I would have a reason / purpose to speak with him again in the future. To me, I felt as if I was making a $1.00 investment into the future of not only this child, but the rest of his siblings at our church. There are five children involved in all, and their mother. I've never met their father, but the church has managed to get phone contact with him in reaching out to his children.

Since having given this child my dollar, the Lord has opened up opportunities for me to speak with him. No, his dad's car hasn't been fixed, nor do I expect it to be. However, it opened up a door for communication. This child now sees me at church and recognizes me as well. He connects me with being the woman who cared enough to give him a dollar to have his dad's car repaired.

Did I get swindled out of a dollar? Maybe in the sense that it wasn't going to be used for the purpose I was told it would, but if you think of swindling as a "scheme"... Who was scheming whom?