Cause of fear of death.

[Ian Gentles]

Henri Nouwen in his "The Inner Voice Of Love" brings out a weird thought, that we fear death because of our fearfull births!! We were taken from one world, the womb, and hurtled into another world at birth, this makes us fearfull of being again sent into another world! Very interesting thinking. He does advocate a dieing to self in this world as vital for our preperation to enter the next.

[Tami Martin]

I'm a bit skeptical of that, Ian.

Death and the afterlife is a big unknown. We fear what we don't know. Our brains are made to accept and like the familiar - even chaos.

[Ian Gentles]

Yea, weird, chaos is acceptable as its a known, where after life isnt.

[Ryan Scott]

I'm not all that afraid of death, I'm more afraid that it might hurt a lot while it's happening and that my family might struggle after it's done.

[Ian Gentles]

To be honest we all fear afterlife in a way, have we got it right, are we truely ready? Death is the last enemy because of that fear!

[Hans Deventer]

To be honest we all fear afterlife in a way, have we got it right, are we truely ready? Death is the last enemy because of that fear!

I think it is the last enemy because it separates loved ones. I'm not afraid of death myself.

[Billie Goodson]

Henri Nouwen in his "The Inner Voice Of Love" brings out a weird thought, that we fear death because of our fearfull births!! We were taken from one world, the womb, and hurtled into another world at birth, this makes us fearfull of being again sent into another world! Very interesting thinking. He does advocate a dieing to self in this world as vital for our preperation to enter the next.

I'm a bit skeptical of that, Ian.

Death and the afterlife is a big unknown. We fear what we don't know. Our brains are made to accept and like the familiar - even chaos.

Tami, your statement seemed to echo what Ian was posting of Nouwen's writing. We fear what we don't know, and the prospects of another substantial change in our physical environment, like Nouwen's birth is somewhat unsettling to our seeking familiarity. The fetal me had no concept of the next stage, I am not sure the present me has anymore of an idea, just an assurance of faith of more to come.

[Barbara Moulton]

To be honest we all fear afterlife in a way, have we got it right, are we truely ready? Death is the last enemy because of that fear!

I don't fear death. I don't worry that I am not ready because God's grace covers me.

[Billie Goodson]

I fear death.


I fear that I will not have done all that I could to help others be ready.
I fear that loved ones will not be ready.
I fear that what lies before me will cause me to grow in ways that are uncomfortable.

I read the story of Christ in the garden, was he afraid? Maybe, maybe not. What I do see is that what he did feel moved him so much that it had extreme physiological impacts on his body. That he chastised his disciples for sleeping and not praying for him. Was he afraid of death, or the process of getting there? I do not know -- but, I am afraid of death. That fear allows me to face my death. Fear is a motivator. I do not fear death because I am not ready, I fear it because I am.

[Billy Cox]

I tend to agree with evolutionary biologists on this one. We are hard-wired to survive and that includes a mortal fear of death. (haha)

As for me, I am *way* more scared of dying than I am of death.

[Ian Gentles]

I fear it cause i am, i fear the change, am i ready for such a final change? We all say we fear it not, are we real? I mean this is the big one, oh peace at last i yearn for, but judgment, are any truely ready?

[Tami Martin]

Tami, your statement seemed to echo what Ian was posting of Nouwen's writing. We fear what we don't know, and the prospects of another substantial change in our physical environment, like Nouwen's birth is somewhat unsettling to our seeking familiarity. The fetal me had no concept of the next stage, I am not sure the present me has anymore of an idea, just an assurance of faith of more to come.

I am skeptical that we remember our birth process as negative and traumatic.

[Billie Goodson]

I am skeptical that we remember our birth process as negative and traumatic.

I do agree on that Tami. I don't remember my birth at all. However, I do remember my daughters all being born. From where I was it seemed pretty traumatic -- especially to me. And most assuredly traumatic when we had twins unexpectedly! We did not know we were having twins until 9 minutes after our third daughter was born! She neglected to inform her poor unsuspecting parents that she had company in there!!

[Glenda Harvey]

For me it's the thought of no longer being here that bothers me. While I don't know what Heaven will be like I am not afraid of it. All we know is what we have on earth now. It's hard to imagine anything else. The one time when I thought I might die during a car accident I felt very calm, it was a strange feeling but I wasn't really scared until it was already over. When my brother was sick with cancer I felt that if I could take his place I would. The thought of his dying scared me more than the thought of my dying.

[Tami Martin]

I'm not afraid of death, either. I am very afraid of what would happen to my family were I to cast off this mortal coil, though. Maybe if I knew my kids were all settled into adult life, I could handle it. But right now, they're too young.

And my husband would be a basket case.

[Jill Mickelson]

I think it would be awesome, amazing, thrilling, to leave this earth in the Rapture!

Or leaving this earth like Elijah: "As they were walking along and talking, suddenly a chariot of fire appeared, drawn by horses of fire. It drove between the two men, separating them, and Elijah was carried by a whirlwind into heaven." 2 Kings 2:11

Not that I'm anybody special but I have been thinking of other ways to go to Heaven rather than death/funeral/casket/etc. Not that I'm afraid of it. The Lord has been teaching me much about living and dying. Quite a few people have shared their stories of near death/death experiences. So anyhow, I just share these thoughts with my Lord! Praise His Name! And if I go the "normal" way, that's fine too.

[Barbara Moulton]

I fear it cause i am, i fear the change, am i ready for such a final change? We all say we fear it not, are we real? I mean this is the big one, oh peace at last i yearn for, but judgment, are any truely ready?

You seem to have a hard time believing those of us who say that we don't fear death.

What do you mean by the question are we ready?

[Ian Gentles]

You seem to have a hard time believing those of us who say that we don't fear death.

What do you mean by the question are we ready?

I think we have a culture that in some way forces people to say they arent afraid, when secretly they are. I also wonder about being ready to meet God to face the judgment, it seems a big deal to me.

[Hans Deventer]

I think we have a culture that in some way forces people to say they aren't afraid, when secretly they are. I also wonder about being ready to meet God to face the judgement, it seems a big deal to me.

Well, I don't feel forced to say anything. As to facing judgement, if I won't be saved by grace, I won't be saved at all. I'll never be good enough to make it without God's grace. But that is the gospel exactly!

As long as we want to be prepared, be ready etc, we expect to be saved by anything else but grace. And you won't, Ian!

5 Moses describes in this way the righteousness that is by the law: "The man who does these things will live by them." 6 But the righteousness that is by faith says: "Do not say in your heart, 'Who will ascend into heaven?'" (that is, to bring Christ down) 7 "or 'Who will descend into the deep?'" (that is, to bring Christ up from the dead). 8 But what does it say? "The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart," that is, the word of faith we are proclaiming: 9 That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. 11 As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame." (Rom 10)

[Hans Deventer]

Perhaps it's like a good marriage. When you're married for some time, your spouse know the good and the bad things about you. And still loves you.

I think it is the same with God. He isn't blind to our failures etc, but He truly loves us nevertheless. And that is where my confidence comes from.

[Barbara Moulton]

I think we have a culture that in some way forces people to say they arent afraid, when secretly they are. I also wonder about being ready to meet God to face the judgment, it seems a big deal to me.

Well, you can believe me or not. But if I stop and close my eyes and think about death itself, I don't have one fear arise.

Now, I don't want to die for awhile of course. All of us would say that we have certain things we would like to see before we leave. But I might not get to see those things.

I also hope that the process of my death is an easy one.

As for being ready to face the judgement. This statement floors me Ian. Why on earth would any of us be afraid to meet God when we die? The very heart of the Christian gospel is that we are forgiven and His grace is sufficient. I don't think I am going to die and find out He has changed the rules and that there was one hoop I was supposed to jump through that I didn't.

[Ian Gentles]

I guess i came from a background of working out our salvation with fear and trembling, it sticks. What was taught in old Naz church of my youth.

[Billie Goodson]

I don't think I am going to die and find out He has changed the rules and that there was one hoop I was supposed to jump through that I didn't.

FYI -- That is something that comes with Islam.

I don't understand how someone can not be afraid of death...but, I also don't understand how someone can love to shop. So, my understanding surely does not encompass all understanding.

[Hans Deventer]

I guess i came from a background of working out our salvation with fear and trembling, it sticks. What was taught in old Naz church of my youth.

They forgot the next part of the verse? "for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose."

And they didn't read John Wesley's sermon on this verse?

2. But how are we to work out this salvation? The Apostle answers, "With fear and trembling." There is another passage of St. Paul wherein the same expression occurs, which may give light to this: "Servants, obey your masters according to the flesh," -- according to the present state of things, although sensible that in a little time the servant will be free from his master, -- "with fear and trembling." This is a proverbial expression, which cannot be understood literally. For what master could bear, much less require, his servant to stand trembling and quaking before him? And the following words utterly exclude this meaning: "In singleness of heart;" with a single eye to the will and providence of God; "not with eye-service, as men-pleasers; but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart;" doing whatever they do as the will of God, and, therefore, with their might. (Eph. 6:5, &c.) It is easy to see that these strong expressions of the Apostle clearly imply two things: First, that everything be done with the utmost earnestness of spirit, and with all care and caution: (Perhaps more directly referring to the former word, meta phobou, with fear) Secondly, that it be done with the utmost diligence, speed, punctuality, and exactness; not improbably referring to the latter word, meta tromou, with trembling.

[Anne and Dwayne Hood]

Billie, you may find that you do not fear death, if you ever come near enough to it.
But, when we are in Christ, I believe He prepares us for times like this, when they happen.
I can understand a mother not wanting to leave her children or others.

[Ian Gentles]

To me deaths is the last enemy, but an enemy!

[Hans Deventer]

To me deaths is the last enemy, but an enemy!

It is an enemy for all of us. When you ever stood at the grave of a loved one, that point is made clear beyond the shadow of a doubt.

[Billie Goodson]

Billie, you may find that you do not fear death, if you ever come near enough to it.
But, when we are in Christ, I believe He prepares us for times like this, when they happen.
I can understand a mother not wanting to leave her children or others.

I would agree Anne -- but, I think that is different. I am afraid of heights (a VERY HEALTHY at least respect for them). I was afraid to jump out of a 32-foot tower, so I was "pushed". However, I jumped from a plane and never felt afraid. So go figure. I believe that fears are a degree thing -- meaning they are relative. So, I am afraid of dying. I am also afraid of not listening to God. Although, for one I could seek forgiveness. But, I think my fear of the latter is more than the former.

[Roland Hearn]

Ian, while I love much of what Henri Nouwen writes I think he has taken a little flight into fantasy land on this one, as popular as that flight is today. I don't think there is any evidence anywhere apart from some great imaginations to suggest there is any link at all between the birth process and life fears. I think people that have watched births have thought, "wow, that must be traumatic", but I have talked with a lot of people about past struggles, including repressed memories. No one ever has mentioned to even the smallest degree anything to do with their birth. I guess I did hear on TV once someone describing their memory of their birth but I dismissed it out of my own skepticism because the imagination is such a powerful thing. I dismiss most near death experiences and ufo sightings too on the same basis.

I think people fear death for many of the reasons you have articulated - we don't know. There is a lot that the bible says about how we qualify for the next life but it doesn't tell us much about it at all. It is an unknown. So we loose all that we know, all of our present loves, we aren't sure about the process or how we will relate or even how we will "know", what will consciousness look like on the other side? All of that can create fears. By the same token the only way to overcome those fears is to trust that God has said what He will do and we can trust Him. To deal with fear in this life an individual must simply stop his imagination describing what will happen, respond to what he can respond to and leave the things that are out of control out of the thinking process. It is always our imaginations that harbor fear. Have you ever noticed how when you fear something it is about your thinking process when you are in the middle of something the fear starts decreasing to the extent that you are able to manage what you are doing, when something is past no matter how bad we never fear it any more. Fear is our thinking process, we need to take that under control. The only thing in the world that we can control is what we think and how we respond to circumstances, we can never control the circumstances themselves.

[Tami Martin]

Is death really an enemy?

Can we define an enemy as one who would try to destroy us? If so, death is the farthest thing from an enemy. For the believer, death accomplishes that one thing for which we all yearn: to be in the presence of the Master. In that case, death is my friend.

I've known too many godly men and women who have gone on to their heavenly reward to think that death was a fearful thing. When my grandmother passed, for instance, she was smiling and appeared to be seeing something no one else in the room could see.

God gives us the grace we need. Today, I don't need dying grace because I'm not dying. But I have every reason to believe that when that time comes, I'll have it!

[Hans Deventer]

Is death really an enemy?

Will you ask that same question when your loved ones won't come home because they died in traffic accident? Seems I have lots of trouble understanding you today, Tami. I don't know why.

[Tami Martin]

Will you ask that same question when your loved ones won't come home because they died in traffic accident? Seems I have lots of trouble understanding you today, Tami. I don't know why.

Yep, Hans. It would seem that we're a bit off today. Normally, I see your picture as I scroll down to read a post and expect to agree with whatever you say. But it's no matter.

My niece and newphew who didn't come home the afternoon of July 28, 2007, because they died in a traffic accident are in the presence of their savior. There has not been enough time pass for me to say that I'm no longer sad about that. I am VERY sad. I grieve their loss keenly and at times that grieving interfers with my ability to function in "regular life."

Do I see that as the work of an enemy? No. I don't. I can only hold to my faith that all things work together for my good as I am one of those called according to His purposes. My enemy is the Deceiver who would seek to destroy me as a roaring lion. I don't see death as a tool Satan uses.

I suppose that if you define "enemy" as anyone or anything who would disrupt your idyllic life than anything could and is your enemy, up to and including death. I just don't happen to think that way.

[Hans Deventer]

I suppose that if you define "enemy" as anyone or anything who would disrupt your idyllic life than anything could and is your enemy, up to and including death. I just don't happen to think that way.

I would have let it go but for this paragraph. Had to think of these verses:

Rom 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord..

1 Cor 15:26 The last enemy to be destroyed is death.

The idea of death being alien to God's creation, being the result of sin, and being something that through Christ both is and will be overcome, seems like a rather Biblical concept to me. Death is not a person. That's only the case in stories. Not can we equal satan with death. That is clear. So it is not an enemy like we would normally use the word, because that would be a person. Still, it is called an enemy.

[Tami Martin]

I would have let it go but for this paragraph. Had to think of these verses:

Rom 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord..

1 Cor 15:26 The last enemy to be destroyed is death.

The idea of death being alien to God's creation, being the result of sin, and being something that through Christ both is and will be overcome, seems like a rather Biblical concept to me. Death is not a person. That's only the case in stories. Not can we equal satan with death. That is clear. So it is not an enemy like we would normally use the word, because that would be a person. Still, it is called an enemy.



AH!! I see where you're coming from then :) In that framework, I can see how death is an "enemy." But if I define "enemy" as I have been, it's different. Glad to know I haven't fallen completely off my rocker!

[Glenda Harvey]

When I was in my late teens, early twenties I spent 3 years working as a nurses aide in a convalecent hospital. I remember one elderly patient telling me about a dream she had in which she was by a stream and saw Jesus on the other side she said she told him she was ready and he could take her now. She died a few days later. It was not unusual for elderly people near death to tell me they were ready to die or to have dreams or knowledge that their end was close.

I have lost both my parents as well as my husbands parents. My mom and my dads & father in laws deaths were sad but were expected and natural. My mother in law was only 54 when she died of cancer so it was more difficult to accept. I also lost a two year old nephew to an accident over thirty years ago and of course my brother who was 43 less than two years ago. My nephews death was very difficult for my family. I still find myself feeling that my brothers death was unfair and have difficulty accepting that he is gone. My brother said during his illness that he was not afraid of death but it was leaving his family that upset and worried him. He was leaving his wife with three young boys to raise. He was also going to miss seeing them become adults.

I'm not sure if not wanting to leave this world yet is the same as being afraid of death. I feel that life after death is something that is unknown to us. As Christians we believe in Heaven and a wonderful life after death but it is still foreign to us. Life on earth is our comfort zone and it is natual to want to stay.

In cases of old age or long illnesses it seems that people become prepared for their death and family members also have time to go through some of the grieving process before the person is actually gone. When a death is sudden it is easier on the person who has died but more shocking and difficult on those left behind, especially if the person is young.
While I do not want to die I'm not sure I am actually afraid of dying. I think that once we are in heaven it will all make sense and we won't be sorry that we are no longer on earth.

[Bob Carabbio]

Like the old song says - everybody wants to GO to Heaven, but NOBODY wants to die.

I always liked Corrie Ten Boom's version (since I've lived it). She and her Father would go to Amsterdam to set the master clock, and HE would give her the train ticket just before the conductor came to punch it.

SO when Corrie told her dad that she was afraid to die - he used that as an illustration - "dying faith" is like the ticket - no need to have it before you're on the train, since you don't need it yet and might lose it. But JUST BEFORE you depart, THAT'S when it needs to be available - and that's when Father gives it to you.

When they told me in '91 that there was 98% chance that everything would be O.K. after the Open heart, it didn't seem like the odds were all that good - since death was the option. But alone in the room the night before the procedure with something clicking inside my chest keeping things going, Father came and let me know that everything was O.K. and that WHATEVER went down, I didn't have to be concerned - and I wasn't from that point on. It's now 16 years and 13 interventions later, and it's still O.K.

If I die in my sleep tonight, It'd be fine, or if I get aroused by the old familiar chest pain - again, it's an inconvenience, but not anything to be in fear of (except that angina HURTS, and I'd just as soon not hurt for very long - pain isn't fun). But if the hospital DOESN'T pull me out - again, no biggie.

It's actually my wife that's more afraid of the situations as they occur - she has to continue living, and all I have to do is die, and get it over with.

But to the poor fellow WITHOUT a relationship with God, or any spiritual resources to draw on in the moment when it gets CRYSTAL CLEAR that Life can't continue -
Now THAT'S scary.