Are You in the "Valley" This Christmas?

[Andrea Larabee]

This is a great time of year for many and occasionally we are in the "valley" at Christmas. Maybe you are suffering an affliction or depression for numerous reasons and don't feel like being so festive or social.

First, remember Psalm 23. This scripture is not only intended to be read a funerals or printed on the front of your church bulletins. For Christians, it is there for us as needed. Even if you are in need of it daily!

Psalm 23 (NIV)

A psalm of David.
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.



I personally have suffered a physical affliction since Spring of 1999. Though I am suffering physically, I am thankful to not be suffering spiritual affliction today. But I was suffering both very badly in 2005. I went to church the weekned of Christmas and the pastor spoke about depression in the Christmas season and shared with us the Lord's Word in Psalm 42

1 As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?

3 My tears have been my food
day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

4 These things I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
among the festive throng.

5 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and 6 my God.
My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.

7 Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.

8 By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.

9 I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?"

10 My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

11 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.


Hold steadfast to the Lord and He will help you! Go and celebrate Jesus!
God bless you,
Andrea

[Ian Gentles]

Excellent post, for me as i am afflicted by depression, oh i hate it!

http://iangentles.livejournal.com

[Ian Gentles]

Sadly, i know many, Christians and none Christians, who actually hate Christmas. Before folks jump on the, hay don't be a scrooge bandwagon,stop and be gracious. Christmas hurts for many, yes we do our best, and rejoice in Jesus! But, its the happy holidays thing that gets to us, we want it over with! We are not scrooges, we are struggling! As i like to say, "Next year in Jerusalem!"

http://iangentles.livejournal.com

[Jim Franklin]

To live in a household where there is division rather than harmony over whether it is even Christian to even celebrate Christmas is if not a valley at least is a "slough of despond." Particularly when I grew up in a Nazarene pastor's home where Christmas was not only a spiritual, cultural and emotionally joyous time of sharing our love for God and Jesus but for one another even if there was very little to spend on gifts. I remember the Christmas of 1945 when there would not be enough to buy even the smallest Christmas tree that my mother found a little dead branch from an oak tree and took time to wrap green crepe streamers around each twig and placed in a coffee can and hung our ornaments and garland on it. It seems that someone found out that the pastor's family did not have a tree and slipped my dad a dollar to buy a 2 1/2 foot tree that he surprised us with. Two little PKs were overjoyed.

[Anne and Dwayne Hood]

"In the valley, he restoreth my soul."

[Peggy Gray]

I wrote this a couple of years ago:


The week before Christmas.
The headaches grew so severe that they took him to a specialist;
The diagnosis was brain tumor, inoperable.
He should have been hanging his stocking, not having cat scans and blood tests.
He is four years old.

Six days before Christmas.
He had pushed back his chair from the supper table,
A milk carton in his large, calloused hands, headed for the fridge.
“Better pick up another quart” were his last words.
When his wife turned to see what the odd sound was,
He was already gone,
His bifocals glistening in a puddle of milk.
Reflected in the lenses, she could see the lights on the Christmas tree twinkling.

Five days before Christmas.
None of the nurses would meet her eyes when she walked into the NICU,
And right away she knew.
“I’m sorry,” said the doctor. “He was just too small.”
She thought they would have a Christmas miracle;
Instead they will have a Christmas Eve funeral.

Four days before Christmas.
Tires slipped in the mealy snow on a hard left corner.
The car was solid, but the maple tree more so.
In the hospital, her heart beat for hours after her brain was already dead.
She was on her way home from caroling at the nursing home with her youth group.
She was her parents’ only child, and her grandparents’ only grandchild.
There are brightly wrapped gifts with her name on the tags,
But who will open them? Will anyone?

Three days before Christmas.
The letter carrier called out “Merry Christmas!”
Waving as he hurried down the porch steps and up the sidewalk.
“Yes, Merry Christmas to you, too,” the man replied.
He took the handful of green and red envelopes into the house
And dropped them on the table, unopened, with the rest of them.
There was no wreath on the door, no Christmas tree,
No decorations of any kind.
He glanced at the answering machine and its blinking red light,
Walked past it into the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee.
He sat at the table in the dark, his coffee growing cold,
Trying to imagine how it could possibly be the third Christmas without his wife.

Two days before Christmas.
She thinks that she will never hear “Silent Night” again
Without hearing the words he spoke so softly
That she had to turn the radio down and ask him to repeat them:
“I said, I want a divorce.”
Now the clinking of ice cubes in the tumbler is a cruel parody of sleigh bells
As she pours the bourbon, hesitates, and then pours until the glass is full.
She stares at the label on the bottle as she takes the first swallow.
Christmas Day would have made four years of sobriety.

Christmas Eve.
She answers “yes” when the lady at the supermarket asks
If the day old bread is for stuffing their Christmas turkey.
It’s a big fat lie.
But if anyone finds out that their mother is gone again
She and her little brothers will be back in foster care.
She supposes she hopes her mother comes back,
But not if she brings with her the boyfriend
Who has been doing unspeakable things to her for two years,
Since she was ten.
When the clerk reaches under the counter for more paper bags
She slips two Milky Ways into her coat pocket.
There will be something in the little boys’ stockings after all.

Christmas Day.
The frail woman in the wheelchair puts on a brave smile
As the nurse’s aide sets down her lunch tray
And pops a straw into the plastic tumbler.
“My son would have been here,” the woman explains, “if it weren’t for the storm.”
The aide looks out the window at the few snow flurries
Sparkling in the filtered sunlight.
“Of course he would,” she replies with pity in her voice.

Right before Christmas.
How sad, how unfair to have Christmas ruined
By pain and death and despair.
Why can’t suffering take a holiday?
Why must there always be this tragic counterpoint
To what should be a time of celebrating,
A time of peace, and love, and praising GOD?

Before Christmas.
Century after century, king after king, the people wandered in darkness;
They longed for their Messiah,
But they didn’t know they were waiting for Christmas.

Then Christmas came.

Then Jesus came,
To bind up the brokenhearted,
And heal those in the grip of the devil;
And peace that the world could never give;
To love us so much that He was willing to die for us
While we were still sinners;
To hide us in the shelter of His wings when we’re hurting and afraid.

Before Christmas,
There was pain, darkness, unspeakable grief.
And now...
There is still pain, darkness and unspeakable grief,
But it’s AFTER Christmas–
Jesus is here, God WITH us, born among those like us,
Bringing the Good News to the poor in spirit,
The bereaved, the sick, the lonely, the lost;
Bringing hope to the hopeless,
The Father’s gift of grace and mercy to an undeserving world.
Alleluia!

Before Christmas dinner,
Before the tree,
Before the cards and cantatas and candy,
Let’s put first things first
And tell somebody who needs to know, or be reminded,
Why He came.
Lord, may our Christmas lights be beacons of hope in somebody’s darkness;
Let me be Jesus to someone...
Before Christmas.

[DA Weaver]

I heard this song earlier today and couldn't help but to think that someone might benifit from hearing it.

http://www.dollypartonmusic.net/site.php?em3152=1004_-1__0_~0_-1_11_2007_0_0&content=videos&em3215=&em3228=&em3229=&em3214=

[Desiree Allen-Baker]

If I could give double or triple thanks, I would! Thank you for this post. :)

[Ian Gentles]

I never can work out why its Christmas in particular that brings folks into the valley. I expect it being winter has also something to do with it?

http://iangentles.livejournal.com

[Ian Gentles]

We are being a bit scrooge like this Christmas. We haven't put up a tree etc we really didn't feel like it, are we bad? I personally am trying to let Christmas pass in as normal a way as possible, maybe this is part of my survival mechanism? I'm really not sure to be honest! I know a person who is dreading going to his parents for Christmas, he would prefer to be on his own, due to loss in the pass etc! Another hopes she will be asked to work, a correction officer, on Christmas as its her day off, and she dosent want to sit through it!
I know i feel better as soon as Christmas day is past, I know this sounds terrible, but its way I am! I know we are going to feel lonely a bit this year, both moms having past on. Maybe it would have helped to have been invited out for dinner, who knows?
Do i miss the big family Christmases, I sure do, but they are things of the past. I think we are adjusting to being older and on our own. Most of the friends of our younger days have moved out of London so we are far from any. As i get older Christmas gets lonlier, I expect its the same for many others at our age?

http://iangentles.livejournal.com

[Barbara Moulton]

I love Christmas but I find Easter time to Mother's Day very depressing. We've had a lot of bad things happen during this time period (getting voted out of a church, my mother dying, twice deeply wounded by someone we trusted etc).

As a result, for years,....when the period of time would start to approach, I would often start talking about how difficult it was going to be. I anticipated my depression and my depression happened.

The last two years, I thought to myself that I was, in some ways, creating a self fulfilling prophecy. If I expect to get super depressed then I probably will. So I made a conscious effort to surrender my negative expectations to God, whenever they would arise. I increased my level of physical activity. I engaged myself in "soul nuturing experiences".

And the last two years I have found that the depression was less. It was still there (and I imagine that I will struggle with this all my life). But I saw improvement.

All this to say is that there has to be a balance. Yes, we need to acknowledge that this can be a tough and painful time for people. We need to minister with sensitivity and grace and love and allow them to express their feelings.

But I also think we need to be careful not to create an atmosphere where people can simply "dump on Christmas". The problem isn't Christmas. It's the wounded heart of the person approaching Christmas.

Dickens was right. It is at Christmas time that "want" is most keenly felt. The things that are lacking in our lives (money, family, friends, security etc) .... their absence can be accentuated by the celebration all around us.

So we need to care for our spirits. But I still think we need to remind ourselves of what is good and lovely about this time of year.

[Ian Gentles]

I believe many develop their different defense mechanism for the seasons that get them down, its a matter often of simple survival. I don't know what the "want" is at this season, just know its there. I think the simple, not so drawn out, Christmases of yester year were easier for folks to cope with. Also we live in a day when community is a thing of the past causing folks to be far more isolated. Also the shere spending madness of modern Christmas is a madness which leaves many feeling also rans.

http://iangentles.livejournal.com

[Tami Martin]

This Christmas has been very hard for us with the recent deaths. Before this year, I had only lost two loved ones: very elderly grandparents and their deaths were 14 years apart.

This year, I struggle to stand beside the manger scene on the platform at church. My niece was alway Mary. Both of my sisters signed the names of the children they lost on their Christmas cards. Everywhere I turn there is some reminder of this still-sharp pain and loss.

So, it doesn't surprise me that I don't really want to shop for or wrap presents. That I really don't want to sing Christmas songs (that one doesn't go over well when you're the song leader).
I find myself drained from working with families with emotionally disturbed children all day long and just want to sleep when I get home.

Yes. Christmas most certainly magnifies all those things that are NOT there.

[Anne and Dwayne Hood]

Peggy, your poem is what one would call Bitter Sweet. It is very good work.
Thanks! I have some of the kind of memories...But, He is able.

No, I am not in the valley. My heart is full of joy. HE is the answer, and He has answered my prayer.
But, one other request is still pending. IN HIS TIME!

[Ian Gentles]

This Christmas has been very hard for us with the recent deaths. Before this year, I had only lost two loved ones: very elderly grandparents and their deaths were 14 years apart.

This year, I struggle to stand beside the manger scene on the platform at church. My niece was alway Mary. Both of my sisters signed the names of the children they lost on their Christmas cards. Everywhere I turn there is some reminder of this still-sharp pain and loss.

So, it doesn't surprise me that I don't really want to shop for or wrap presents. That I really don't want to sing Christmas songs (that one doesn't go over well when you're the song leader).
I find myself drained from working with families with emotionally disturbed children all day long and just want to sleep when I get home.

Yes. Christmas most certainly magnifies all those things that are NOT there.

My friend who lost his son, a police officer in the line of duty, explains it this way, "There will always be an empty place"

http://iangentles.livejournal.com

[Ian Gentles]

But even in the Valley there is a sort of celebration. Its just a, we welcome the Christ child, but please take the rest away from us!! Many of us even find the celebrations at church just too much, it all is about joy, when many feel none! My mom once sent me a comedy video, its about an absolutely miserable minister over Christmas. He is so miserable even the guys in the local prison riot to stop him visiting. Maybe best , and it is funny, bit is his Christmas sermon on suicide, and its a scream trust me. Course we dont want to be such miseries over Christmas, but neither are we over joyous!

http://iangentles.livejournal.com

[DA Weaver]

But even in the Valley there is a sort of celebration. Its just a, we welcome the Christ child, but please take the rest away from us!! Many of us even find the celebrations at church just too much, it all is about joy, when many feel none! My mom once sent me a comedy video, its about an absolutely miserable minister over Christmas. He is so miserable even the guys in the local prison riot to stop him visiting. Maybe best , and it is funny, bit is his Christmas sermon on suicide, and its a scream trust me. Course we dont want to be such miseries over Christmas, but neither are we over joyous!

http://iangentles.livejournal.com

Ian,

I'd love to know what video that is.