Forgiven?

[Charlotte Mercer]

If I'm forgiven like I believe I am and like the bible says God forgives, then why do I still feel stuck because of sins I committed years ago? Why do I still have trouble talking to people who were involved, and why do I still feel the fear that similar things will happen in my current relationships? I feel like I need to just steer clear of some people, but I don't understand why? I know God is powerful enough, and I know His love can release all bonds, so why do I still feel bound? Why do I still live in fear of repeating those mistakes?

[Hans Deventer]

That's a lot of questions. :basic01 One issue is, I think, that by nature, we will try to avoid pain. If relations with people have been painful, we will try to avoid those.
As to being stuck, there may be things that need to be resolved with people. I don't know the specifics, Charlotte.
I do know that in issues like these, identity is a crucial component. Henri Nouwen says that Jesus could only face the trials and the crucifixion and still pray for those that nailed Him to the cross, because He really knew who He was: God's beloved son. And I do believe that this is at the root of many things in our lives we have to work out.

[Ian Gentles]

I think whole problem is we find it hard to forgive ourselfs for things God has already forgiven. Also, yes we all experienced avoidance, as most of my friends drank i avoided many after I became a Christian!

[Andrea Larabee]

If I'm forgiven like I believe I am and like the bible says God forgives, then why do I still feel stuck because of sins I committed years ago? Why do I still have trouble talking to people who were involved, and why do I still feel the fear that similar things will happen in my current relationships? I feel like I need to just steer clear of some people, but I don't understand why? I know God is powerful enough, and I know His love can release all bonds, so why do I still feel bound? Why do I still live in fear of repeating those mistakes?

Charlotte,

Sometimes when we have been forgiven for something or all our sins (at salvation), Satan attempts to remind us of them and brings them back to our attention. When this happens to me, I repeat over and over to myself "By the blood of Jesus Christ, I have been washed clean." Before I know it, my mind is focused on the Lord or on to my next task.

The difficult thing is once we are forgiven, we have a hard time forgiving ourselves and we and others do have the ability to remember our mistakes. One time, some big mistake I had made kept bothering me, I honestly don't remember what it was now. I had been forgiven for it but just couldn't let it go. I prayed and asked the Lord to help me totally erase that sin from my mind just as He erases it from His. To this day, I remember praying that prayer but I don't remember what the sin was!

As far as being bound to old sins or bad habits that you have been forgiven for... just keep praying through it, honey! Ask the Lord to give you some scriptures. Once He has given you specific scripture, memorize them. When the sin or bondage comes back at you, start reciting those scriptures!

God bless you!
Andrea

[Roland Hearn]

If I'm forgiven like I believe I am and like the bible says God forgives, then why do I still feel stuck because of sins I committed years ago?

Charlotte a big part of the issue is shame. What happened in the past has become a part of your memory of failures, in a way that has become part of how you define yourself. The important thing here is to have forgiveness and not failure define you. Christ's love for you says you are more than your failure. You sin was no doubt a product of trying to avoid pain, or medicate struggles or address a need to be loved, none of those things is bad. Our problem is that when we seek to address these things with sin we always experience shame. The more shame defines us the greater our struggle to deal with it. It leaves us feeling worthless and hopeless. It is absolutely imperative to allow your mind and imagination to be impacted by the grace of God's forgiveness as He has your sin.

Why do I still have trouble talking to people who were involved,


They become reminders of your shame and failure. The extent to which they were involved in those things is the extent to which your spirit was vulnerable to them at a point you are now no longer proud of. Once you have accepted that your failure does not define you, you will find it easier to let go of what your imagination tells you they think of you and the extent to which you see yourself as the person that was in those moments.

and why do I still feel the fear that similar things will happen in my current relationships? I feel like I need to just steer clear of some people, but I don't understand why? I know God is powerful enough, and I know His love can release all bonds, so why do I still feel bound? Why do I still live in fear of repeating those mistakes?

You are afraid that you are really the person that you were at your worst and not the person that Christ is making you. It may in fact be wise to avoid certain people and certain situations particularly if some of the pain that caused the original struggle is still a part of your life. If those needs in your life have been effectively addressed you won't fall in to the same failures but sometimes those things are very hard to gauge. Remember God never uses shame to motivate so if you are feeling shame that comes from your own sense of yourself and God wants to heal that. Remember too we are all in the process of becoming, none of us are there yet. Don't let your past failure tell you who you are and the only way that can be overcome is healthy relationships with people that are around you and with Christ. If some of the relationships you are in a bringing shame to the surface you probably should look closely at the dynamics of that relationship.

[Brenda Jackson]

Charlotte

I am sure that you have tried very hard to think yourself out of this, and quoted scripture to yourself, and still find no relief? We cannot control our feelings at will. It is a good thing to come to the point in our lives when we realize that we are not able to help ourselves if it makes us cry out to the Lord 'Who will deliver me from this body of death?' Christ will deliver you if you submit to His working in you. He loves you whatever your faults and wants to deliver you when you so strongly wish it. If you are being convicted of sins then this is the sign that He is working and it is a good thing and should not be stilled by reason. Listen to Him and He will guide you in His will.

[Gina Stevenson]

If I'm forgiven like I believe I am and like the bible says God forgives, then why do I still feel stuck because of sins I committed years ago? Why do I still have trouble talking to people who were involved, and why do I still feel the fear that similar things will happen in my current relationships? I feel like I need to just steer clear of some people, but I don't understand why? I know God is powerful enough, and I know His love can release all bonds, so why do I still feel bound? Why do I still live in fear of repeating those mistakes?

As Roland and others have answered well already, we won't try that. But we have noticed your NazNet contributions here of late, and can only say that it's too bad you had school going on when we passed through Frisco on our way from AZ to MI. If you had not, it would've been fun getting to know you, too, it appears. ;)

[Billie Goodson]

If I'm forgiven like I believe I am and like the bible says God forgives, then why do I still feel stuck because of sins I committed years ago? Why do I still have trouble talking to people who were involved, and why do I still feel the fear that similar things will happen in my current relationships? I feel like I need to just steer clear of some people, but I don't understand why? I know God is powerful enough, and I know His love can release all bonds, so why do I still feel bound? Why do I still live in fear of repeating those mistakes?

Charlotte, let me ask you a question -- do you mean "fear" or "caution"? I think it is very important that we distinguish between the two. You indicate that the area of concern is relationships -- am I reading that correctly? I think relationships is one of the hardest aspects of our lives to deal with, emotionally and spiritually. Fear of certain relationships can be a good thing, I think then it is caution more correctly. Without knowing the specifics, and not really needing to, you might be experiencing good caution about things that maybe aren't quite ready to be dealt with yet.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.

Since there is a time, and a season, it may not be now.

PS: I love your signature! God is God! Three words with such a profound statement of belief and conviction.

[Charlotte Mercer]

Charlotte, let me ask you a question -- do you mean "fear" or "caution"? I think it is very important that we distinguish between the two. You indicate that the area of concern is relationships -- am I reading that correctly?


The truth is, I don't know if it's fear or just caution. Yes, my area of concern is relationships. There's one person in particular that I've been halfway avoiding recently, because, even though as far as I know, he has nothing to do with the things I did in the past, I'm afraid that if I spend time with him, I'll be tempted to go back to those things. I guess I don't have enough faith in my faith.

P.S. My signature is a quote from my dad. Same as Roland's and I know at least one other person on here.

[Charlotte Mercer]

Gina, I'm sorry we didn't get to meet too. I always like making new friends, but who knows. We may still wind up hanging out some time. I mean, I've spent time with Roland and Hans, and neither of them even lives in the U.S. ;)

[Ian Gentles]

I find saten tells me how bad i been, oh he knows. I forget also that God knows also, hence Calvary. I could **** myself, but God hasn't, He has saved me! I guess our worst problem is our selfs and our memories, oh to wipe them out! But, we often lack that faith to realise, Jesus has, And God forgot them all!

[Billie Goodson]

I guess I don't have enough faith in my faith.

P.S. My signature is a quote from my dad. Same as Roland's and I know at least one other person on here.

I have no faith in mine, it can't do anything -- I know it is not your intent, but, to say that my faith can accomplish anything seems to make it "me-centered". Didn't Paul urge us to “continue working out your salvation with humility and dependence” (Phil 2:12). I don't think my salvation is a completed work -- God constantly calls me to greater service (not works). I guess maybe I am using salvation in place of sanctification here -- but, my point being don't assume your faith is not great enough -- maybe not mature enough, but that is not a chronological thing.

On your signature, it is slightly different than at least Roland's -- and I like the statement that it makes.

[Genevieve Boller]

If I'm forgiven like I believe I am and like the bible says God forgives, then why do I still feel stuck because of sins I committed years ago? Why do I still have trouble talking to people who were involved, and why do I still feel the fear that similar things will happen in my current relationships? I feel like I need to just steer clear of some people, but I don't understand why? I know God is powerful enough, and I know His love can release all bonds, so why do I still feel bound? Why do I still live in fear of repeating those mistakes?

Unfortunately I can't tell you WHY we do this, but almost all of us do at one point or another. It seems to be a constant struggle for us all to remember that God does completely forgive AND forget our sins. I think part of the problem is that we humans are not that way--we hold grudges (even against ourselves!) and have a hard time letting go of things we should.

Having been there myself, very frequently, I can tell you that the very best thing you can do is to lay it at the foot of Christ (daily or as often as you need to), as an offering of faith even if you don't fully feel it, and remind yourself of the truth--that your sin is as far as the east is from the west, and that you are a new creation and the old you is long gone. It will take a while of habitually doing this before your feelings will catch up to your act of offering.

I have many things in my past that would obliterate my peace if I didn't regularly hand them over to God. My signature line below says it all for me...and I have to choose to believe the "forgiven" part even when my feelings or my mind refuse to accept it.