Forgiving ourselfs?

[Ian Gentles]

Before someone jumps at me, no I am not thinking about myself, though truth be told, we have all had failings we regret.
I hear a lot, about people saying, "God forgave me but I cant forgive myself!" I was thinking, surely in God's forgiveness their is the ability to forgive ourselfs? I cant believe God, in His forgiving mercy, means people to torture themselfs over past sins etc!
Is this a psychological trap? or a loving to feel pain? what is it? it alludes me!

[Tami Martin]

I wish I had the ability to cast the "record" of my sin as far as the east is from the west. But I don't.

I like the story about the dad who drove a nail into the door frame every time his son sinned. When the son accepted Christ, he pulled out all the nails. But the son noticed something: the nail holes were still there.

Sometimes, the guilt we feel (from a sin, even one confessed and forgiven) is illegitimate. It is an attempt of Satan's to keep us defeated. If we still feel guilty over that sin which is under the blood, we might not be out doing the work of the ministry.

Sometimes, the guilt we feel is legitimate. Maybe we have confessed and God has forgiven us. But maybe we have not "made it right." Perhaps time needs to be spent in prayer before God asking that He reveal to us what we might still need to do to make whatever it is right. For instance, if I lied to someone, I can pray for forgiveness, but I might still need to go and ask the person I lied to for forgiveness.

Sometimes, and this is one that I have found to be real, we just think we've received forgiveness. I recall someone telling me once, you committed all those sins one at a time, you should seek forgiveness in the same manner. Of course, this was for someone who was already a believer, leaning on 1 John 1:9. I don't think it's okay to kneel at my bedside at the end of the day and just say a blanket prayer for forgiveness for all the bad stuff I did that day. Maybe my guilt comes from not having actually confessed that sin that's still "sticking in my craw."

[Hans Deventer]

Often, these things come from actions that might not even have been sinful. A short moment when you didn't watch your toddler and he hurt himself. The "if only" situation can haunt people for all of their lives.

[Roy Richardson]

Before someone jumps at me, no I am not thinking about myself, though truth be told, we have all had failings we regret.
I hear a lot, about people saying, "God forgave me but I cant forgive myself!" I was thinking, surely in God's forgiveness their is the ability to forgive ourselfs? I cant believe God, in His forgiving mercy, means people to torture themselfs over past sins etc!
Is this a psychological trap? or a loving to feel pain? what is it? it alludes me!

It eludes me as well. There are sins from my pre-Christian days that still haunt me. I cannot make them better, and I'm not sure that going to the person and dredging them up will be helpful. I attribute them to the Father of Lies whispering in my ear.

The analogy of the nail holes is a great one. Sin leaves scars. Jesus can make us whole, but it can take a lot of sanding to remove the scars.

[Roy Richardson]

I like that. The hard part is that he always comes around when we are beaten down in some way.

But I do need to do a better job of memorizing scripture to fend him off.

[Bob Evans]

I think what were talking about is the difference between sin and shame. We are forgiven for our sins and in Gods eyes there is nothing held against us. To get to that point we have to come to the realization that we have done bad things and need forgiven. And Gods grace is adequete.

But sometimes the realization does not stop there. Its the difference between realization of doing bad things and reaching the conclusion that we are bad people. What that nagging feeling is so many times is shame in need of healing and not more sins we need to ask forgivness for.

Perhaps our prayer should for healing and deliverance in these situations. From personal experience the healing is long and difficult but God is still able.

[Roy Richardson]

I think what were talking about is the difference between sin and shame. We are forgiven for our sins and in Gods eyes there is nothing held against us. To get to that point we have to come to the realization that we have done bad things and need forgiven. And Gods grace is adequete.

But sometimes the realization does not stop there. Its the difference between realization of doing bad things and reaching the conclusion that we are bad people. What that nagging feeling is so many times is shame in need of healing and not more sins we need to ask forgivness for.

Perhaps our prayer should for healing and deliverance in these situations. From personal experience the healing is long and difficult but God is still able.

Light clicks on. If you go here (http://http://www.asburyseminary.edu/forms/community/kentucky/prev_ky_sp07.php), you can listen to a chapel service at Asbury Theological Seminary by Dr. Steve Stratton on the difference between shame and repentance. I'm going to listen again today.