"Ladies Auxiliary"

[Hal Paul]

Her name is Anne Cash and she's the president of the VFW Ladies Auxiliary. Because I'm the Commander and McCain was at our post, we all three ended up in the picture.

I'm starting a new thread here to avoid hijacking the Jan 30: If you had to vote today (http://www.naznet.com/community/showthread.php?t=17823) thread in current events.


As an active duty service member, it seems to me that a Ladies Auxiliary in the VFW is somewhat passe. About 20 percent of today's force is made up of women and many have husbands who have not served in the armed forces themselves. Women are serving in more capacities than ever in the military, and their husbands are often left minding the hearth when their wives leave for war.

While membership in the VFW is open to veterans who have served in a war zone, including women, doesn't the existence of a Ladies Auxiliary communicate that non-veteran husbands are not a welcome part of the association, and that veteran women can participate, just as long as they don't bring their husbands along? Why in 2008 does the VFW have an auxiliary that by its name communicates exclusion to husbands of veterans and what does it do to make non-traditional families, in which the woman is the veteran and the husband is not, welcome?

It seems that a Ladies Auxiliary is a lot like when Nazarene districts host "Pastor's and Wives" retreat, even though the denomination has historically ordained women as clergy. (I understand many districts have made efforts recently to be more inclusive of male spouses). It communicates that a certain "traditional" career/life path is normal, and that while non-traditional paths may be allowed, those who's lives took the non-traditional path aren't going to be fully accepted.

Well, I've picked on the VFW quite a bit, and the CotN just a little. And while Glenn may be feeling a bit defensive, I think the challenge is has a universal nature to it, that doesn't confront our civic and religious institutions, but that we also need to face up to personally.

[Marg Webb]

Have I missed something here. You sound bored and hunting for something to visit about, or was there something elsewhere??

[Hal Paul]

Check the hyperlink I provided in my first post. See Glenn Harris' second post in this string (http://www.naznet.com/community/showthread.php?p=168178#post168178) titled "She wasn't with McCain (http://www.naznet.com/community/showthread.php?p=168872#post168872)."

[Tami Martin]

Language means a lot, even when we'd like to deny it.

The "Ladies Auxiliary" just has never been changed, I'd imagine. Have you gone to a VFW lately?

They're almost dead as an organization. My husband has joined because he has a close relative who was a veteran of a foreign war. Perhaps an insurgance of new veterans would revitalize a dying organization and bring them into the 21st century.

[Hal Paul]

Language means a lot, even when we'd like to deny it.

The "Ladies Auxiliary" just has never been changed, I'd imagine. Have you gone to a VFW lately?

They're almost dead as an organization. My husband has joined because he has a close relative who was a veteran of a foreign war. Perhaps an insurgance of new veterans would revitalize a dying organization and bring them into the 21st century.

I'm not a member, so I don't go to any meetings. As far as I know none of my peers are members either, and if they are, they haven't talked about their VFW involvement.

[Marg Webb]

I'm not a member, so I don't go to any meetings. As far as I know none of my peers are members either, and if they are, they haven't talked about their VFW involvement.

In defense to the Ladies, the women here in our little city are very active and also the the men's unit.
My husband was a VFW life member and the Post was well represented.
Also I was presented with a lovely KJ Bible in a hand carved wooden keeper at my husband's grave at the time of the burial.
They have a fantastic Chef at the Post and the women volunteer their help also.
We did not eat there often but several of my neighbor's have dinner there weekly.
Not all have gone the way of the "moth". They are very active in the community.
In fact there are two VFW's here.The oldest one at the other end of the city is very active via the Women's Aux. in mailing packages monthly to our men in the service, especiall Iraq. Both Women's Aux. work in this area all the time.
They do not charge anyone for the mailing, just donations.
So I think sometime we need to seek more information before we revamp some organizations.
Some NN here have son's that have received boxes because of the Women's Aux.
I am not a member, but I do respect their work.
They also go monthly to Veteran's Hospitals to read and talk to the soldier's, men and women.

[Tami Martin]

Wow Marge! I can see wanting to be a part of an organization like that.

Our VFW is a bar. They used to have Bingo one night a week in the non-bar part of the building, but I don't know if they still do that. Mostly it's just a bar and a place to have wedding dances (with alcohol).

[Hal Paul]

Thanks,

I intended no offense to the Ladies, I just wonder why the organization is defined by gender when women veterans may want to bring their male family members along. I understand that the VFW posts and their auxiliaries are community service organizations. The ones you describe seem to be pretty healthy. I do wonder though, what they are doing to make women veterans and their nonveteran husbands feel welcome.

The VFW has changed its bylaws to allow establishing men's auxiliaries, I still think that is a bit odd. The VFW isn't split into two organizations for male veterans and female veterans, it is one organization open to all veterans. If women can join as full members and serve as officers in the VFW, why have two auxiliaries segregated by gender? What do gender segregated auxiliaries do for the family members and community that couldn't be addressed by a single family auxiliary?

[Marg Webb]

As you say you are not connected to any VFW, it makes me wonder why you "wonder"???
This conversation make's me recall my Mother-in-law when I first met her.
She was a inquisitive sort of a women. I was visiting them before our marriage and she asked in her Nazarene judgemental :) way, "why do you not wear hose" "I do" said I, "these are seamless." "well" said she "you better get some with seams everyone at church will think you don't wear anything on your leg's."
In other words, she was just wondering.
I do not have an answer to your thought's, maybe a Veteran has an answer.
I find your thinking very interesting!! You need to get in there and get some of these fellow's interested and I do think the women that have been in service should join the men.
The Aux. is just that, women that had loved ones, lovers and etc. and this had created a longing to connect in a way they could not because they were not included in the men's meetings at the time the Ladies wanted to do something on the night the guy's were reminiscing, also at the time of orginization there were many visiting the wounded in the hospitals, very concerned and loving.
Oh I don't know anything about this, I just wanted to tell you about my Mother-in-law and my stockings:)
"try it you might like it".

[Gina Stevenson]

This conversation make's me recall my Mother-in-law when I first met her.
She was a inquisitive sort of a women. I was visiting them before our marriage and she asked in her Nazarene judgemental :) way, "why do you not wear hose" "I do" said I, "these are seamless." "well" said she "you better get some with seams everyone at church will think you don't wear anything on your leg's."
In other words, she was just wondering.

Marg! You wily, worldly woman, you! One must have seams to leave no doubt as to whether their legs are covered ... or not, ya know! :laughing

[Hal Paul]

As you say you are not connected to any VFW, it makes me wonder why you "wonder"???
I wonder, becaus as an active duty service member, my service in Korea (I was in Korea in 93-34 and 01-02, why that time in Korea counts I don't know) and Afghanistan makes me eligible for membership in the VFW. I am not a member because my impression is that the social aspect of the VFW is a bunch of out of touch old guys sitting around wearing funny colored hats and vests sitting around drinking and telling war/sea stories. The existence of a gender based auxiliary is one of the things that indicate to me that they are out of touch with today's servicemembers.


This conversation make's me recall my Mother-in-law when I first met her.
She was a inquisitive sort of a women. I was visiting them before our marriage and she asked in her Nazarene judgemental :) way, "why do you not wear hose" "I do" said I, "these are seamless." "well" said she "you better get some with seams everyone at church will think you don't wear anything on your leg's."
In other words, she was just wondering.
I do not have an answer to your thought's, maybe a Veteran has an answer.
Yes, as a veteran, I am just wondering.

I find your thinking very interesting!!
Thank you.

You need to get in there and get some of these fellow's interested and I do think the women that have been in service should join the men.
If I were to join it would be as a member of the VFW, Londa would be in the auxiliary. I wonder about this because I have worked with several female soldiers who's husbands are not veterans.

The Aux. is just that, women that had loved ones, lovers and etc. and this had created a longing to connect in a way they could not because they were not included in the men's meetings at the time the Ladies wanted to do something on the night the guy's were reminiscing, also at the time of orginization there were many visiting the wounded in the hospitals, very concerned and loving.
But there are men who are in the same situation, and I don't understand why there should be seperate Ladies' and Men's auxiliaries.

Oh I don't know anything about this, I just wanted to tell you about my Mother-in-law and my stockings:)
"try it you might like it".
Thanks for sharing:)