Lay Leaders dealing with change

[Mike Schutz]

This is a question for discussion, primarily addressed to those who are lay leaders in their local church:

How have you dealt with times when church leadership, especially a new pastor, came and started making changes to programs that you led, or worked on, and believed in?

Have you experienced times when the new leadership communicated, verbally or through their actions, that what you had done in the past was wrong or ineffective?

How have you responded through your actions, words, and how have you dealt with your emotions?

[Meghan Schoonover]

Hmmm, we had a new pastor come about 2 yrs. ago, and he's made some changes in the stuff I'm involved in (music) but not that much. I guess the things that helped me were understanding his leadership style/philosophy (he explained it and the direction he was looking for, building teams, etc.) and him coming along side me in various things. I also knew he viewed me as expert in my area, and we have similar views in many areas, so it makes it easy for me to take his suggestions and comments very seriously. We haven't had too many conflicts but there's been times when I've definitely said to myself that I've chosen to be under his leadership and so have deferred even if I don't 100% agree. I think that's easier for me to do so b/c he's built trust with me, I know he cares about me personally, he consults with me regularly, and I can tell he takes my opinion seriously.

[Dave McClung]

This is a question for discussion, primarily addressed to those who are lay leaders in their local church:

How have you dealt with times when church leadership, especially a new pastor, came and started making changes to programs that you led, or worked on, and believed in?

Have you experienced times when you new leadership communicated, verbally or through their actions, that what you had done in the past was wrong or ineffective?

How have you responded through your actions, words, and how have you dealt with your emotions?

I guess I qualify as a "lay leader."

Three times in my life I have faced the situation where I was in strong disagreement with the direction a pastor was taking my local church.

The first time resulted in a strong conflict. The conflict was not personal between me and the pastor, but was between all of the "lay leaders" and the pastor. We attempted to follow the "Biblical Model" of conflict resolution. We discussed the issues face to face, then got others to go with us, then took it to the church board. In the end, Linda and I resigned from the local church and from the Church of the Nazarene. The pastor of another Nazarene Church reached out to us or we probably wouldn't be Nazarenes today.

The second time didn't involve conflict at all. The new pastor had an entirely different approach to ministry than had been practiced in that congregation. He changed many of the things that had attracted us to the church. Linda and I simply made the decision to go to another church where we could make a contribution beyond merely atttending and paying tithe.

The third time involved financial integrity. The new pastor didn't accept that it was essential for the church to practice financial integrity. After repeated conversations with the pastor and the church board, I decided that I couldn't in good faith, pay my tithe to a local church that didn't practice financial integrity, so Linda and I moved our membership (and our tithe) to another Nazarene Church.

As far as my emotions were concerned, I was deeply hurt in the first situation I described. So much so that I did not think that I would return to the Church of the Nazarene. I still have scars from the experience. In the other two situations, I experienced significant relief to be out of a difficult situation.

Looking back over those experiences, I would observe that the Lord used each of these situations to place Linda and me in situations where we could make a positive contribution.

[Hans Deventer]

How have you dealt with times when church leadership, especially a new pastor, came and started making changes to programs that you led, or worked on, and believed in?

Generally, pastors in the Netherlands don't have that power. They have to build consensus before radical changes can be made.

Having said this, I've been doing many things in the church at each level. I did run away with frustration in the past. Right now, I'm using a different approach. I'm not going to do things I know will give me lots of stress and little opportunity to be a blessing. And I am open to assignments where I think I can be useful, I'm purposely focussing on the fact that my value and identity are in the love of Christ. I've heard He can manage His church without me :basic05. I'm not that important and I also believe He'll find a place for me to minister if one door is being closed. So I am more relaxed in it then I used to be.
Even to the extent of running for GA delegate again. It there's a place where I expect a lot of frustration, it is the GA. So this kind of goes against the 1st principle. But, sometimes you get asked by people you just don't want to led down and you just leave it all up to the Lord.

[Mike Schutz]

I am wondering how much difference the spirit in which a new leader approaches change makes, especially to those who were in leadership before he/she arrived. If the new leader feels that there is a need to devalue everything that has been done in the past in order to justify change, how difficult is it for lay leaders to support the change?

[Tami Martin]

I'm dealing with that right now. The changes in the music program are great, but he seems to see me in a role that I'm not all that comfortable in. What makes it worse is he has been approaching it as if music were my number one love. It's not. Teaching is. Even kids I know can notice that. I feel as if he's "blowing sunshine" in order to fit the pieces he has (me) into the program he wants.

Granted, it's slow going. I've been dealing with this for about two years. I'll be reading this thread carefully. Maybe there's something I can do differently. So far, I've just been praying about it.

[Marsha Lynn]

This is a question for discussion, primarily addressed to those who are lay leaders in their local church:

How have you dealt with times when church leadership, especially a new pastor, came and started making changes to programs that you led, or worked on, and believed in?

Have you experienced times when the new leadership communicated, verbally or through their actions, that what you had done in the past was wrong or ineffective?

How have you responded through your actions, words, and how have you dealt with your emotions?

My answer in many instances is "badly." Leaders, new or old, tend to underestimate how much I have invested in what I'm doing. Where I see myself as a tree planted by the river, putting down roots, pouring myself into ministry, they see me as a pawn on a chess board with a smooth base designed for easy sliding, subject to being moved to another square without notice, even a square of a completely different color. This contrast in viewpoints is a recipe for disaster. Someone walks up to me and says, "We've decided to move a different direction here. You'll be positioned over here from now on." Then they are shocked by my (over)reaction.

The ultimate example was the former pastor who informed me at 9:25 a.m. on a Sunday morning that my class would be using the WordAction curriculum, starting that morning. Since he knew I wasn't prepared for that morning's lesson, we would combine the classes for that one Sunday and I could start with the regular curriculum the next week.

That's all. No big deal. There had simply been a complaint about what I was teaching and we needed to make a change.

There was a deafening din of crashing plans and dreams in my head that morning as I left a note for my class to discover when they came out of Sunday School opening informing them that they would be part of the pastor's class that morning, drove the family minivan home so I could change into walking shoes, drove back to the church to leave the van for my family, and then walked the mile and a half back home. There was no way I had enough emotional stability to weather the storm that morning. (It has been 15 years and I'm still tearing up at the memory.) But I was back that evening to listen to his sermon from Revelation 3 about how we need to go through the open doors God has placed before us. And I accepted the decision, remained a friend to those behind it, and stayed in the church. However, my short career as a first-time adult teacher (and my class as a separate entity) ended that day with some strong lessons branded deeply into my heart. It was several years before I tried again. I always use approved curriculum now, regardless of how much I would love to apply scripture to the questions that people are actually asking rather than trying to fit a prefab lesson to the unique character of my group. (If I want to teach to that model, I need to do it outside the church structure.)

Unlike Meghan, my opinion has seldom been sought out or valued in these cases, which adds greatly to the frustration.

Dave gave three examples, all of which resulted in a move to another church. I have no place to go in terms of a church change. I just have to work through the emotions while trying to be kind to those who have uprooted me so abruptly. In other words, I cry, I pray, I talk, I apologize, and then, with the help of time and the grace of God, I get over it. It has been a while since the last collision, but I'm well aware that it could happen again tomorrow. There's no way for leaders who view other people as pawns on a chess board to detect when one of those pawns has put down roots and will go to pieces in the face of a sudden proposed move.

It's God's church, not mine. I can lead, follow, or get out of the way. I have poured much energy into trying to step out of the way with grace while remaining in the church when offered no opportunity to be involved in leadership and finding it impossible to follow. In the worst times, I shifted my focus almost entirely to ministry in the community rather than in the church and faded into the shadows in the church. In fact, I threw away a reminder note from my Bible just the other day. It said something like: Nobody. No opinion. No color. No ideas. Nothing. (I threw it away because, while I may still be a drab brown sparrow, my days of easily slipping into the shadows unnoticed seem to be over for now and I need to foster an awareness that there are multiple people watching me.)

I'm not sure this addresses the question you asked. You struck a nerve that's sometimes still a little raw. Sorry for the lengthiness of my response.

Marsha

[Mike Schutz]

Marsha, Thanks for your honesty. It does demonstrate that Naznet provides a place for us to share things that we cannot share in our local community.

Please know that most pastors receive absolutely no training in the things you have described above. Some are blessed to be mentored by wise persons, others have personal giftedness, and a few have picked up a book along the way. Most are winging it when it comes to these kind of interpersonal leadership dynamics. They are looking at the goal, and not the people. Others, who focus only on the people and not the goal, are so afraid of conflict that nothing changes.

I asked the question in order to learn. You have taught me a lesson. Thanks.

[Roy Richardson]

Marsha, Thanks for your honesty. It does demonstrate that Naznet provides a place for us to share things that we cannot share in our local community.

Please know that most pastors receive absolutely no training in the things you have described above. Some are blessed to be mentored by wise persons, others have personal giftedness, and a few have picked up a book along the way. Most are winging it when it comes to these kind of interpersonal leadership dynamics. They are looking at the goal, and not the people. Others, who focus only on the people and not the goal, are so afraid of conflict that nothing changes.

I asked the question in order to learn. You have taught me a lesson. Thanks.

And as a seminary student, I've filed this away under 'things to remember" as I go forward.

Thanks

[Marsha Lynn]

Please know that most pastors receive absolutely no training in the things you have described above... Most are winging it when it comes to these kind of interpersonal leadership dynamics. They are looking at the goal, and not the people. Others, who focus only on the people and not the goal, are so afraid of conflict that nothing changes.

One of my greatest fears is that someday people will actually start to care about what I think and start walking on eggs, paralyzed with fear of setting me off (while still overlooking or rejecting the option of actually inviting me to be part of the decision-making process). I can't control the emotional response when someone steps into my path when I'm running at full throttle in some ministry. I can't always escape before it becomes evident that I'm not responding as expected. Often, the best I can do is grant permission to ignore my response and remind us both that I always get over it - eventually.

The other option which I'm working on is to hold all things except my relationships more loosely, including my commitment to the church and to ministry. One of the most freeing parts of that pursuit was when I accepted the fact that the church could die under the leadership decisions that were being made, and that was God's problem, not mine. My current mantra is that I would rather be this person's friend and supporter than get my point across, regardless of how confident I am concerning the value of my insight.

I'm sure that, as a pastor, you are skilled at reading between the lines here, but to summarize, there are several factors involved: 1) people doing ministry and not being included in the making of decisions that will affect them; 2) people who have no confidence that anyone is listening to them; 3) people who have taken ownership of their ministry and/or the future of the church and fear that damage is being done by those trying to implement change.

Did you see the book review (http://www.naznet.com/community/showthread.php?t=18627) I posted this morning? The organic model is appealing to me as one who has often been in the position of being asked to cooperate with other people's "master plan" and finding no place in that plan. My goal is to use what influence I have to serve as an empowering buffer between the "master plan" and those who look to me for opportunity and guidance.

God still asks us as He did Moses, "What do you have in your hand?" Even when it isn't much, I find that there's always room to do something, even if it's way back in the recesses of the shadows. And recently it has moved from not much to more than I really intended to sign up for.

Marsha

[Mike Schutz]

I'm sure that, as a pastor, you are skilled at reading between the lines here


Oh yes, I'm excellent at seeing all of the varied opinions and making objective and disinterested assessments of every human interaction - as long as I'm not personally involved. When I'm in it ... look out! :basic05