Nelson Bradford
September 2nd, 2010, 04:24 AM
The Mighty Corn and Soybean By-product Search Continues
Some mornings, I have cooked rice for breakfast. Nothing like a bowl of rice, adding hot milk, sugar and some cinnamon. So tasty. Let's check that label, shall we?
Oh meeeeeee . . . thinking that I might just find rice only, boy, was I mistaken. Check this!
"Enriched with . . . (yeah, I bet!)
Niacinamide...didn't the Oklahoma bomber use something like that to mix with that fertilizer??
Ferric Orthophosphate...every time I read the word "ortho" my teeth hurt.
Thiamin Mononitrate - Oh good! None of that "Di” junque!
Folic Acid. Now WAIT a minute. ACID? Did I read ACID? Are they trying to trip me out?
Pushing the Minute Rice box aside. . . (It's called "minute" cuz if you eat enough of it that acid will eat your guts out in about a minute!). . . I reach for some Keebler Club Crackers. . . hey, why not?
The box is right beside the rice box - (I’ll continue with the cereal search tomorrow) . . . it reads on the front cover. . . "Light, Flaky, Buttery."
Friends? Checking the label? There is not one eeeensy beeeenseeeee bit-o-butter in those crackers. NOT one speck! How can they DO that?? But then I read. . .
Soybean and/or cotton seed oil...well you folks south of the Mason-Dixon need some income also, so, I'll allow the cotton by-product, temporarily, but only because the grubs got our soybeans.
Which of course is the first line of my next hit country song.
Or contemporary chorus.
Sodium Bicarbonate. . . HUH??? Sodium Bicarb? Friends. I am NOT joking. Those Keebler people are not just advertising falsely by printing "buttery" on the front of the box, but they are telling us DO NOT WORRY ABOUT STOMACH GASSES because we've already added the Sodium Bicarb. Now, would someone please hand me a Tums for my tummy? Pleeeeeeeeze?
And then I read. . .
High Fructose Corn Syrup. There was some concern about this issue here yesterday, right?
But is THAT why those Keebler elves are sooooooooo happy? Oh meeeeeeeee! I dare NOT say what I'm tempted to say. Oh meeeeeeeeee!
Well at least they're using corn.
And so am I.
I must must leave! Really!
I’ll do my best to bring you the very latest news in my cereal search - (NEWS AT 11) - tomorrow about this time.
Deal?
This is sooo stupid.
You mean you’re still reading this trash?
I pity you.
Have a thankful Thursday in Him.
~ Nelson
Ps - Isn’t God good?!
Some mornings, I have cooked rice for breakfast. Nothing like a bowl of rice, adding hot milk, sugar and some cinnamon. So tasty. Let's check that label, shall we?
Oh meeeeeee . . . thinking that I might just find rice only, boy, was I mistaken. Check this!
"Enriched with . . . (yeah, I bet!)
Niacinamide...didn't the Oklahoma bomber use something like that to mix with that fertilizer??
Ferric Orthophosphate...every time I read the word "ortho" my teeth hurt.
Thiamin Mononitrate - Oh good! None of that "Di” junque!
Folic Acid. Now WAIT a minute. ACID? Did I read ACID? Are they trying to trip me out?
Pushing the Minute Rice box aside. . . (It's called "minute" cuz if you eat enough of it that acid will eat your guts out in about a minute!). . . I reach for some Keebler Club Crackers. . . hey, why not?
The box is right beside the rice box - (I’ll continue with the cereal search tomorrow) . . . it reads on the front cover. . . "Light, Flaky, Buttery."
Friends? Checking the label? There is not one eeeensy beeeenseeeee bit-o-butter in those crackers. NOT one speck! How can they DO that?? But then I read. . .
Soybean and/or cotton seed oil...well you folks south of the Mason-Dixon need some income also, so, I'll allow the cotton by-product, temporarily, but only because the grubs got our soybeans.
Which of course is the first line of my next hit country song.
Or contemporary chorus.
Sodium Bicarbonate. . . HUH??? Sodium Bicarb? Friends. I am NOT joking. Those Keebler people are not just advertising falsely by printing "buttery" on the front of the box, but they are telling us DO NOT WORRY ABOUT STOMACH GASSES because we've already added the Sodium Bicarb. Now, would someone please hand me a Tums for my tummy? Pleeeeeeeeze?
And then I read. . .
High Fructose Corn Syrup. There was some concern about this issue here yesterday, right?
But is THAT why those Keebler elves are sooooooooo happy? Oh meeeeeeeee! I dare NOT say what I'm tempted to say. Oh meeeeeeeeee!
Well at least they're using corn.
And so am I.
I must must leave! Really!
I’ll do my best to bring you the very latest news in my cereal search - (NEWS AT 11) - tomorrow about this time.
Deal?
This is sooo stupid.
You mean you’re still reading this trash?
I pity you.
Have a thankful Thursday in Him.
~ Nelson
Ps - Isn’t God good?!