Howie Shute weighs in again...

[Dave McClung]

Dear Nazarene Family,



I am so encouraged as I communicate with many of you. I am not alone in carrying a burden for our Church to experience renewal in these days. Many of our leaders and members across the Church are hungering for God in a deeper way than ever before. Playing church is just not an option anymore. We want revival. We want to see God manifest Himself in the Church of the Nazarene once again.



Many have written me and talked to me personally with confessions of the short comings in their own lives and in the life of the Church. I would like to share some of those in upcoming articles, sins from which the Church must repent. However, in this article I would like to discuss a sin that I have observed existing in the Church today.



The Apostle Paul said to the Roman Church that we who are strong "ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up." (Romans 15:1-2). To the Thessalonian Church he exhorted them to "encourage one another and build each other up." (I Thessalonians 5:11) To the Philippian Church he gave this challenge: "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." (Philippians 4:8).



Are we listening Church? Do we hear the voice of God? Or do we talk about our brother, tearing him down, instead of building him up? Do we focus on the negative and miss out on the good things that God is doing in the world today? One discouraged Christian wrote me and said he wanted to be anonymous in his response to my call to repentance. He told me that he was afraid to give his name because he feared reprisal from the Church. He said and I quote "I've learned that the more right you are, the more zealously you will be attacked...." If that is true, shame on us, Church.



I need to confess here. I've been guilty on occasion of talking about my brother in a negative way. My words have sometimes been words of tearing down instead of building up. That is a thing of the past for me, my brothers and sisters. I refuse to use my words to tear you down. I will speak only words that build you up. I am asking you to hold me accountable. If you hear words from my mouth that are intended to erode away at the reputation of a fellow Christian, stop me and remind me of my commitment to speak words of love and kindness - words that edify. Jesus said that we are to love our neighbors as we do ourselves. How can we say we love our brothers, but at the same time speak of them in an unkind way?



I am serious, my friends. Renewal has already started in me. I'm not going to hold back anything from the Lord that He desires. I want to walk open and honest before God and His Church. Pray with me about how we treat our brothers, and whatever else the Lord wants to say to His Church. Will you walk with me in agreement to repent and to be changed? Will you allow God to use you as a vehicle for the revival that this world so desperately needs? I've never been so hungry for God, my friends. I've never been so desperate for His Spirit to renew me and to renew the Church. Let's band together and watch God bring healing to our land and revival to our Church. This is God's time. Let's make sure we are ready for Him to do in our lives what He wants to do.



Howie



Howie Shute

Field Strategy Coordinator

Church of the Nazarene

Horn of Africa

4/14/08

[Hans Deventer]

How can we say we love our brothers, but at the same time speak of them in an unkind way?

Dave, do you know what he means? Is wanting to change anything synonymous with speaking in an unkind way? Because obviously, when you want to change something, it apparently isn't working too well, or at least not well enough.

[Dave McClung]

Dave, do you know what he means? Is wanting to change anything synonymous with speaking in an unkind way? Because obviously, when you want to change something, it apparently isn't working too well, or at least not well enough.

I understand Howie to be saying essentially the same thing I said in the post that started this discussion. He is confessing to have engaged in complaining and is promising to stop complaining. I made the same pledge.

Sometimes it is a fine line between being critical of one's position or idea without being critical of the person. Dr. Roger Fisher in Getting to Yes says, Be hard on positions, but soft on people. Howie and I are saying the same thing. It is ok to differ strongly on positions, but we should not engage in destructive criticism.

[Mike Schutz]

Three times I have read what Howie wrote. Each time I have clicked away, and then come back. I am being convicted.

The way he worded his statement is almost verbatim what I have been praying about for my own life. God is calling me to make this same kind of commitment. No, that's not what I mean. I made this commitment years ago, and have continually broken it, and have never been held accountable for it - because we have too often found this kind of destructive communication to be acceptable.

No longer. Not for me. I refuse to ever speak of someone in a manner that tears them down. If I ever do that, in any written statement here on Naznet, or in any other communication I have with any of you, I want and need you to hold me accountable.

[Billy Cox]

Three times I have read what Howie wrote. Each time I have clicked away, and then come back. I am being convicted.


I have heard it said somewhere that great minds talk about ideas and small minds talk about people. While that is generally true, it seems difficult to talk about ideas in the abstract without mentioning those who espouse and advocate those ideas.

I take Howie's note as a good and cautionary word, but I have no apology for the frank discussion that characterizes NazNet nor for my part in it. I am confident that certain people on NazNet will call me on the carpet if it is warranted - I make every effort to not give them a reason to do so.

[Mike Schutz]

I have heard it said somewhere that great minds talk about ideas and small minds talk about people. While that is generally true, it seems difficult to talk about ideas in the abstract without mentioning those who espouse and advocate those ideas.

I take Howie's note as a good and cautionary word, but I have no apology for the frank discussion that characterizes NazNet nor for my part in it. I am confident that certain people on NazNet will call me on the carpet if it is warranted - I make every effort to not give them a reason to do so.

Billy, I understand what you are saying. However, I think that there is a line. I think we all know where it is, and I think I sometimes cross it.
For me one aspect is the difference between having a meaningful, substantive conversation with someone about ideas, as opposed to talking about someone behind their back. Another aspect is assuming motives of those who disagree with me, and then speaking of those motives as if I have evidence of their truth.

[Anne and Dwayne Hood]

Wonderful letter. If we all would start from the point Howie is starting from, and really mean it and live it, changes would come in our lifes and in our zion--I feel. This type of living could be the beginning of the future for the church. If all of the ministers and their wives determined in their hearts, to live like he speaks of, we could make a great difference, that would reach out to the laymen as well.
Accept one another with love, referring each other, ahead of ourselves, or our wanting to be right.
The month of February just about did me in emotionally, and a vicious attack on Naznet basically completed it. I was
already partially not well because of heartaches that we are having due to some circumstances among our loved ones. I have still not been able to totally rise above what I went through from Naznet in February. If it was up to Dwayne, I would be seeing a doctor for my conditon I am getting to where I don't cry as much, when, most of my life I have not been a "crier."
We have just got to be the people God called us to be, and treat everyone in the way He desires for us to treat them. Making things like this right, and practicing a life of love and acceptance, would go along way in helping the entire church, if there was some way to make it universal among the clergy, their wives , and the leadership of our denomination--if some of them, needs to make the kind of confession that Howie made-not saying that they do. Then it would begin to spread out to others.

[Billy Cox]

Billy, I understand what you are saying. However, I think that there is a line. I think we all know where it is, and I think I sometimes cross it.
For me one aspect is the difference between having a meaningful, substantive conversation with someone about ideas, as opposed to talking about someone behind their back. Another aspect is assuming motives of those who disagree with me, and then speaking of those motives as if I have evidence of their truth.

Yes, it is part of our human makeup to see patterns and draw conclusions based on them. Sometimes those conclusions are wrong.

[Dave McClung]

Billy, I understand what you are saying. However, I think that there is a line. I think we all know where it is, and I think I sometimes cross it.
For me one aspect is the difference between having a meaningful, substantive conversation with someone about ideas, as opposed to talking about someone behind their back. Another aspect is assuming motives of those who disagree with me, and then speaking of those motives as if I have evidence of their truth.

Mike

Another thing we do often is assume that silence means disagreement. When we expect a response and don't get it, we assume that the other person is communicating a "no."

One of my rules is "Never asssume that a lack of response means anything."

Dave McClung
mcclung@naznet.com

[David Pettigrew]

Dave, it's so funny you say that, because I confess to often interpreting silence as disagreement. Forgive me.

I believe it was Dr. Phil that once said we wouldn't worry nearly so much what people thought of us if we realized how seldom they do!

I want to say that if the Nazarene church is never renewed in the way the vision has been discussed here, the Holy Spirit has most definitely used the discussion to renew this Nazarene. My local church has noticed (and benefited from, I daresay) the change.

[Gina Stevenson]

I believe it was Dr. Phil that once said we wouldn't worry nearly so much what people thought of us if we realized how seldom they do!

Dr. Phil may have said that, since he's said a few wise things. However, if/when he said it, he was quoting someone else, since I heard that simply eons before ever having any idea who Dr. Phil was! :cool: [hmmm ... makes me wonder now where it's supposed to have originated; maybe we'll go look]. OK, looks like it's attributed to Olin Miller. Here's are a couple of websites that discuss the subject, and part of a few interesting tho'ts thereon below it:

(1) http://mental-health.families.com/blog/do-you-worry-about-what-other-people-think

While it is normal human behavior to adapt our behaviors to certain situations, sometimes we can become so caught up in what people think of us that we literally "lose ourselves."
We do what we think is right, not because we think that it is right, but that others do. It's like we haven't grown out of our teenage years of peer pressure. Today, we might not smoke to keep in with the "in-crowd" but we still conform in numerous ways and worse, we worry. We constantly worry about what other people are thinking about us. We find our lives are governed by what we imagine other people believe about us. And so we find ourselves with a huge raft of fears: fear of being rejected, fear of being thought a failure, fear of making a mistake, fear of being inferior to others, fear of being "dumb." This is just the tip of the iceberg.
But there is hope. Think of the words of Olin Miller:


"We probably wouldn't worry about what people think of us if we could know how seldom they do." This is so true. I once remember hearing another witticism which went along the lines of:


"In my teens I thought that everyone was thinking about me. As a 40 year old I thought "to hell with them, I don't care what they think anymore." As a 60 year old, I realize they were all too busy thinking about themselves for me to be more than a blimp on their radar."

(2) http://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-tips/April24-06.shtml

Yes, many of us worry about what other people think of us. Examples of common worries include:
fear of being rejected, or not being accepted
fear of others thinking you’re not intelligent, or that you’re foolish
fear of others thinking you’re not equal to them, or somewhat inferior
fear of not being respected
fear of others thinking there’s something wrong with you
fear of others thinking you’re a failure
fear that if you make a mistake or say something foolish, they’ll think less of youOK, if you're still with us, this guy's been quoted a lot on-line [most likely elsewhere, too]. Here's a site with Olin Miller quotes, among them this interesting one:

“What a pity human beings can't exchange problems. Everyone knows exactly how to solve the other fellow's.”

... and this other cute one: :basic05

“If you think there are no new frontiers, watch a boy ring the front doorbell on his first date.”

Here's where the rest of them are: http://thinkexist.com/quotes/olin_miller/