God's timing in revealing His will

[Peggy Gray]

Just pondering this, and probably should have taken more time to pull my thoughts together, but here is the gist of it:

You hear stories. For example, a husband or wife announces "God just told me that we're supposed to move to Chicago and start a church!" The spouse responds, "Well, God hasn't told ME that yet!" Time goes on, they pray about it, and lo and behold, God indeed tells the other spouse, "Get thee to Chicago."

But does this always happen? Is there ever, so to speak, a stalemate? If so, is the first spouse mistaken? The second spouse not listening? The first spouse is right, but the timing is "not yet"?

And what about within churches? The pastor or a board member says "God is telling me we should do this thing." Others are not convinced that "this thing" is God's will. But the person has already just SAID that God is telling him that it is, so now what? OK, now we all pray about it. Then...agree? capitulate? compromise?

Has anyone had an experience where someone, after a period of time, comes back and says "I was mistaken"? Where two "sides" feel God is leading in opposition directions? Does God ALWAYS also "tell" the other person or persons in confirmation, or do spouses/congregations merely say "Well, God hasn't told me, but if you say so, I'll go along with it"?

I know I'm not being clear, and I'm not sure I have a specific point. Just thinking about some experiences over the years, differences in personalities and viewpoints, and some potential for misunderstanding. I mean, "God told me" is pretty much a "trump card", isn't it?

[Crystal Lutton]

In our marriage my husband and I embrace a policy I have come to call "Inaction until Unity". When I explained it to the board recently it was decided that would be our policy there as well. I have *NEVER* seen a stalemate that wasn't about stubbornness when people are truly committed to this policy. It's what I counsel couples with.

Basically, the goal of both (or all) people has to be submission to the Lord and one another. In that context, they will both be able to hear from the Lord and different situations will arise.

Obvious solutions for situations--I mean, most people don't need to stop and pray about whether to take the child with the odd hanging arm into the doctor to have it x-ray'd. If they don't believe in doctors and have unity about that then I trust they have an alternative plan they've already worked out.

Unity--if both people pray about something and are in agreement then they can start seeking the Lord's direction for how they are to proceed.

Disunity--Disunity is not from God and therefore falls under the category of chaos. God is not the designer of chaos--he stands in the midst of chaos and brings order. Therefore both people (or all people) involved in the disunity have to be willing to accept they aren't the one hearing perfectly. If everyone leaves the discussion committed to prayer then comes back together at a predetermined time--as often as this is needed--then when there is unity you can trust that the Lord is in it-----and most often I see that it has to do with timing. God's timing is perfect when there is unity.

There are a few practical things that seem to help in this process:

1) go to the Word of God and see if there is an instruction--if so, do it
2) go to the Word of God and see if there is a principle--if so, how would it apply
3) talk about the issue and everyone's thoughts and passions, etc.
4) if the issue would be served by expert advice, consult an expert

By the end of these 4 steps there is almost always unity unless the issue is God's timing. In that case the person who knows they are hearing from the Lord does best to just wait and live in peace and pray. They can trust that the Lord is ready for the act when the spouse (or board) is in agreement.

If someone is not submitted to the Lord this can be a problem--but I've seen that sometimes the issue of timing is to give the Lord time to take that unsubmitted person and bring them into a submitted place. Take the serving in the mission field idea--if the person who says NO is the one who is not hearing from the Lord, would it truly be best for everyone for them to just give in and go to the mission field. Would that not hinder God's design for missions? And if they just make a decision to commit to it does that mean their heart is in it and they are dedicated and devoted to the purpose for which they are there? I wonder how many end up there and wish they had waited for unity.

[Peggy Gray]

Thank you. I have read through this quickly, and will study it more thoroughly after I print it out. It's a keeper, definitely.

[Dennis M. Scott]

There are people in leadership who sometimes use such "trump cards" to eliminate any resistance. It's sometimes only a variation of intimidation. Inevitably the rest of the people involved have no choice but to conclude that there's something spiritually wrong with them if God hasn't spoken to them wih the same message or at the same time. Leaders with poor self-esteem use this method to eliminate threatening transparency on the part of others.

My opinion is that such leaders would do better to suggest, "It seems like the Holy Spirit is saying such and such." Why not encourage others to attempt to seek the Lord's guidance? There's no need for that as long as God is dictating to one individual who desires to dominate.

Others may disagree with me, but I am right, because . . . God told me.