When God doesn't heal?

[Brian Blankenship]

Are there things that God tries to teach us when we aren't healed right away? I'll be honest with you. There have been times in my life when verses like Romans 8:28 drove me crazy, that God works all things together for good to those that love the Lord.

There is an illustration of a little boy that goes in the kitchen while his dad is reading the newspaper. The little boy says, daddy daddy. Play with me. The dad is busy reading and doesn't want to stop. He looks and there is a picture of the world in the newspaper. The dad busily tears the pieces of the paper and hands them to his son.

Son, why don't you work on that puzzle I gave you, and then when you are done. Come back in, and then I'll play with you. The dad thinks he has his son stumped. Less than five minutes later, the son comes back into the kitchen and says, daddy, daddy, I have the puzzle put together.

The father said, son, how did you get the puzzle put together so quickly? The son says, daddy, your picture of the world, when I looked at the back of each piece, I noticed that there was a picture of a man. When I got the man put together, then the world came together.

How many well meaning preachers have used this to say, that when you have the Lord in your life, then everything will come together, all the pieces of your life will fit, and then your world will come together.

In my own life however, my picture of the man is definitely a part of my world, but because of my own circumstances, there were quite a few pieces of the puzzle that either didn't fit anywhere or didn't make any sense.

I've had times when I thought Lord, I just don't understand what this is about. I know my own relationship with the Lord was grounded. I did alot of soulsearching and praying to make sure that there was nothing between my soul and my Savior. However, when it came to understanding everything, I came to understand that when it came to my own relationship with God, He loved me enough to sometimes even let me make my own mistakes. He loved me enough to sometimes let me be angry with Him(look at Job). He loved me enough to question when it seemed nothing made sense and still know in my heart of hearts that I loved the Lord with all my heart.

He loved me enough to pray, God help me to see your bigger purpose.

I've heard preachers that say(and I at times have been one of them), that God would never allow or condone disease or sickness in our own life? I think that in my own life, with the situation with my daughter, with my own depression and search for healing, etc... that God has reasons that sometimes we know not of. And sometimes I pray and cry out, Lord, I'm just not getting it right now. I pray for your help in my pain. I know God heals. I've seen Him use me to pray for others.

There have been times when I prayed, Lord, I don't understand all the waiting, or why you don't just choose to operate your sovreign free will and heal Kara or my own emotions. And yet, through my own journey, God has put me in situations to see others helped, to see God's grace not as something that is something that is pie in the sky, but something that is very real because I have experienced it.

There are many out there in hospitals that when God puts us in the hospital at the same time, God allows us to be there at the same time, who loves Him, to tell these people that don't know God that God loves them too.

I had a chance to pray for little Mariah last week, a seven month old baby, and I got to hold her and pray for her, that God would remove the cancer from her heart. The mother told me they did open heart surgery on Mariah, yet wouldn't remove the cancer, because if one little piece of the cancer broke off, it could go through her bloodstream and into her brain and kill her instantly.

I got to pray for little Mariah, tell the mother about the love of God, and witness to her and others about our journey with the Lord.

[Anne and Dwayne Hood]

Brian, your search for the answer is so heart wrenching. I and many others know what you are talking about. I could hardly stand it if my child had to go through what your child s going through. I could not understand why, God did not heal our son. But, I think, he would have had physical problems all of his life, if he had lived. I would walk around through the house, when alone, crying and calling out loudly to God- stop and lean on door facings and agonize. Satan came and tried to tell me to pray for him to rise from the dead and be alive. God gave me strenghth to realize that this was from satan, and, if I followed this path, my entire family, and Dwayne's ministry would possibly be wrecked and maybe our marriage. I would have ended up insane, and what would it have done to our girls? As it is we were in such a condtion of grief, that we could not think to recognize, that our girls needed help, also.
I don't like to tell people what I just told you. But, that is his job. Look what he did to Adam and Eve, that caused suffering like you and your family have.

Roman 8:28 was meaningless to me. I finally decided , that all things would work together for my good spiritually. But, I do not go around quoting that verse.

Sometimes, I get embarrassed to mention something that I have experienced when someone posts about their experience, that is basically like what I have gone through. It looks like I am a know it all, and have to show, that I have been through, anything, anyone else has. Well, I haven't. But, I still praise God, for many things, knowing that it worketh in me, His good pleasure, and He permitted this to help me, be His hand extended to others. So, I strongly feel and accept the fact, of why I have suffered. If it was for Him, I try to accept it. But, I have actually argued with Him, and I felt bad about it. One time I actually said, and I cry to think about what I said-"Well, have your way, you're going to anyhow." I am so sorry I said that. But, I will hush, because I have said enough, and I am sitting here crying about your heartaches, and about what Kara has to suffer. It just seems so unfair, I feel that I cannot take anymore, at times. I can see that you are there, and have probably been there many times. My heart goes out to you and your family. Oh, how I wish, I could help, and things could change for the better. My heart is broken for you. I truly care.

[Brian Blankenship]

Thank you Anne.

I had a Cllinical Pastoral Education supervisor at Research Hospital in Kansas City, Missouri(right down the street from seminary), that told me that there is an anointing in my search. I truly believe that, that God has led me, by my allowing God access into the areas of my life that were very painful to reach others for Him.

Anne, as I wrote this, I didn't sit here and try to get people for feeling sorry for me. I write this, as my own therapy in a way, and also let people know when you are down, the devil likes you to develop self-pity, etc... which is really an accusing spirit the devil uses to try to bring us down.

Your own pain is heart wrenching, too, it seems. My prayer for you is you will be able to release your own pain to the Lord. And when it seemed you questioned God, and felt sorry for it, etc.... Understand this. God understood your heart. He understood your own search for meaning. He understood your questions. Understand this! God isn't scared of your questions. In fact, I believe HE IS BIG ENOUGH!

Remember if everything made sense, there would never be any need for faith, would there?

[Crystal Lutton]

I've struggled with health issues for years. I've been accused by WOF'ers that it's a lack of faith. I've had all sorts of responses to it from all different backgrounds of doctrine. The thing the Lord has taught me is to not ask "why me?" but, rather, to ask, "What do you want me to learn from this?" When I get my focus off my problems but ask God to use them to teach me something he always does. And I've always been able to be changed by what He teaches me and share it with others in powerful ways. I look back on not only my physical health journey but the struggles I've gone through in every area and realized that as God brings me out of something he calls me to minister to others going through the same things.

I don't for one second believe God causes these bad things--I believe with all my being that the "good" he often works it together for is mine and for the Kingdom.

[Brian Blankenship]

I've struggled with health issues for years. I've been accused by WOF'ers that it's a lack of faith. I've had all sorts of responses to it from all different backgrounds of doctrine. The thing the Lord has taught me is to not ask "why me?" but, rather, to ask, "What do you want me to learn from this?" When I get my focus off my problems but ask God to use them to teach me something he always does. And I've always been able to be changed by what He teaches me and share it with others in powerful ways. I look back on not only my physical health journey but the struggles I've gone through in every area and realized that as God brings me out of something he calls me to minister to others going through the same things.

I don't for one second believe God causes these bad things--I believe with all my being that the "good" he often works it together for is mine and for the Kingdom.

Crystal, did you read the question recently posted "why did this happen to me...versus what do I do now? It seems your question is similar. My point is, now that this has happened, what do I do about it now? The depth of meaning for this is understood by many times only a few.

Our situation with our daughter Kara has brought us to understand that now we can minister to people that before we would have never been able to, in a way that is on a deeper level than alot of the relationships we build on a daily basis. God never wastes anything we go through. We know that.

Yet somehow many times, we think, Lord, I want to keep that part of my life closed off, and when we do, God can't use it. We need to open the door, and give the Lord to use our experiences for his glory.

One of my life verses is found in the story of the blind man coming to Jesus. The disciples asked, was it this man that sinned or his parents that sinned that he was born blind. Jesus said, neither, but so that the glory of God can be manifested in his life.

I want the glory of God to be manifest in my life, no matter where it seems I am at, in no matter what situation I am in, no matter how painful the path.

I've often asked, Lord, in the situation I am in, I don't want to be focused on myself. Help me see the bigger picture. When I have done that, He always helps me, just like He does you.

[Brian Blankenship]

I remember one verse that says we have gone from suffering to suffering, but God has led us from glory to glory. What the enemy or the devil intended for our destruction, God has used for our good. I truly believe that there are many out in the world that could be reached through our obedience, letting the glory of God shine through. I truly believe there are many here living in pain, that the enemy keeps telling you, you don't have a testimony to give, or there's noone you can reach. Yet in your pain, God can bring healing to others, if you will just let him use you.

Remember, God knew what He was doing with Noah, when He called him to build the ark. God knew what He was doing with Joseph, when He was sold by his brothers to Midianite traders, ending up in prison(but the hand of God was on his life). God knew what He was doing when He called Moses(a murderer), to lead his people out of bondage. And God knows what He's doing with you and me. Many times I've looked in the mirror and kind of apologized to the Lord that I'm not a better vessel for Him to work with.

God tells us not to look down on ourselves. We need to praise God He is with us, and that when we go through the fire, we will not get burned. When we go through the rivers, they will not sweep over us. I want to make the devil sorry he ever came after me. I want to be like Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah(Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego), that told King Nebuchadnezzar when he was trying to get them to bow.

WHETHER IT IS RIGHT TO YOU FOR US TO BOW IN YOUR PRESENCE, WE DON'T KNOW. WE DON'T ANSWER TO YOU. EVEN IF OUR GOD STILL DOESN'T DELIVER US, WE STILL REFUSE TO BOW.

[Dennis M. Scott]

Brian,

There is absolutely nothing any of us can say that will lessen the pain you are presently experiencing. Hearing that God will make you a better person doesn't help the heartache. Years ago our daughter was going through a tough time. During her junior year in high school she was in the hospital 265 days, had thirteen surgeries and eight body casts. Doctors didn't know if she would ever walk again, or even survive. During that time Jerry and Toni Porter were serving what is now the Mid Atlantic district, and their daughter Amy was struggling with cancer. You would understand that I identified with them. I wrote to them, committing to praying and in some way hopefully to share mutual burdens. Tens of thousands of other Nazarenes did, too. Our daughter not only got better, but thrived. She and her husband have two of our grandchildren. Amy, however, did not survive. Jerry and Toni endured a journey Linda and I did not have to take. Others may tell you why the Lord did what He has done and not done: I cannot. Am I a better person for having gone through what we did? I guess, but frankly, sometimes the pain is so strong I can't care. And my pain is seemingly insignificant to that which others have had to bear. Beyond any doubt I know it has nothing to do with worthiness.

I do know that His grace and love is sufficient. They do not make the pain go away, but He helps us to endure. During that time, I was numb. My spiritual life was dry. The scriptures were like reading the side of the cornflakes box. Linda and I somehow held on to the knowledge that God had not changed and that we had not turned our backs on Him. Even if we had, we had assurance that He would not let us go. We knew that someday there would be a glimmer of light as the new day dawned: we knew that morning woud eventually break. The night, however, was not a good thing.

Last evening, I took a phonecall from my grandson Sam, thanking Linda and me for helping pay for his new bicycle. Sam just turned five, and this was part of his birthday thing. Sam is part of our dawning morn: it has now been more than twenty years. We rejoice.

This is not a time for you to rejoice. It is a time for you to let yourself go in the arms of Him Who cares more for you than you can imagine. It is a time to cry in frustration to Him Who knows. For what it is worth, this morning I cried for you: I suspect I am not the only one. Don't be too impressed, as I cry pretty easily. One of the surprising things about Naznet is that we needn't face these things alone. For awhile today, try to let some of us carry your burden. In some small way, know that you are not alone.

May God's abiding assurance be yours.

[Brian Blankenship]

Brian,

There is absolutely nothing any of us can say that will lessen the pain you are presently experiencing. Hearing that God will make you a better person doesn't help the heartache. Years ago our daughter was going through a tough time. During her junior year in high school she was in the hospital 265 days, had thirteen surgeries and eight body casts. Doctors didn't know if she would ever walk again, or even survive. During that time Jerry and Toni Porter were serving what is now the Mid Atlantic district, and their daughter Amy was struggling with cancer. You would understand that I identified with them. I wrote to them, committing to praying and in some way hopefully to share mutual burdens. Tens of thousands of other Nazarenes did, too. Our daughter not only got better, but thrived. She and her husband have two of our grandchildren. Amy, however, did not survive. Jerry and Toni endured a journey Linda and I did not have to take. Others may tell you why the Lord did what He has done and not done: I cannot. Am I a better person for having gone through what we did? I guess, but frankly, sometimes the pain is so strong I can't care. And my pain is seemingly insignificant to that which others have had to bear. Beyond any doubt I know it has nothing to do with worthiness.

I do know that His grace and love is sufficient. They do not make the pain go away, but He helps us to endure. During that time, I was numb. My spiritual life was dry. The scriptures were like reading the side of the cornflakes box. Linda and I somehow held on to the knowledge that God had not changed and that we had not turned our backs on Him. Even if we had, we had assurance that He would not let us go. We knew that someday there would be a glimmer of light as the new day dawned: we knew that morning woud eventually break. The night, however, was not a good thing.

Last evening, I took a phonecall from my grandson Sam, thanking Linda and me for helping pay for his new bicycle. Sam just turned five, and this was part of his birthday thing. Sam is part of our dawning morn: it has now been more than twenty years. We rejoice.

This is not a time for you to rejoice. It is a time for you to let yourself go in the arms of Him Who cares more for you than you can imagine. It is a time to cry in frustration to Him Who knows. For what it is worth, this morning I cried for you: I suspect I am not the only one. Don't be too impressed, as I cry pretty easily. One of the surprising things about Naznet is that we needn't face these things alone. For awhile today, try to let some of us carry your burden. In some small way, know that you are not alone.

May God's abiding assurance be yours.
Dennis, its amazing I agree with most of what you say. But I've decided to make a choice. Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional. I don't choose to be in misery. I am however rejoicing in my spirit. Part of it is just realizing that God is with me. Part of it is just having everyone home under the same roof. Part of it is knowing that in the morning, I'll get to preach the word of God.

I just really don't want to have people feel sorry for me. I've done enough of that for myself. In fact, self-pity is a spirit that doesn't come from God. Its a tool of the enemy that goes along with the spirit of heaviness. Right now, I'm not taking anything for cymbalta, and its amazing, my mind seems alot clearer. I'm just going to trust God from day to day! Brian.

[Barb Bouldrey]

I never expect healing. I pray for it at times because I want it, but I neve expect it to be a sure thing.

God has healed me...once. It was evident that it was HIS touch that healed the arthritis in my feet 10 years ago so that I now can move my toes, bend my ankles and stand a long time without pain.

I always believe He CAN heal. I never doubt his power TO heal. But I never know for sure that He WILL heal.

Why is it so hard for Christians to accept that they must suffer illnesses and problems just like the rest of the world? Why can't we understand that sin entered the world and ever since people have suffered illness and disease and death because of the sin in the world. 9NOT THE SIN IN THE PERSON OR LACK OF FAITH)

People are born to die. Some die sooner than others. Illness and disease and problems are just a part of life. It rains on the just and the unjust.

I do not understand ANY scripture to teach that God EXPECTS His people to be healed and well.

Romans 8:28 always makes sense to me when I read it, "Now we know that everything works for the SPIRITUAL good of those who are called according to His purpose."

Or " "Now we know that all things CAN work for the spiritual good of those who are called according to His purpose if we put our trust in Him and do not turn away."

Or..."Now we know that all things work for SOMEONES good....."

I have often prayed, "Lord, may someone receive something spiritually good because of this illness or problem." I have seen nurses who have received spiritual good being around a dying Christian...for example.

If we believed that Christians were given a special physical protection when they got saved, we would have a whole lot more Christians and our churches would overflow with great attendence.

The just shall live by faith....not healing.

Barb

[Crystal Lutton]

Our situation with our daughter Kara has brought us to understand that now we can minister to people that before we would have never been able to, in a way that is on a deeper level than alot of the relationships we build on a daily basis. God never wastes anything we go through. We know that.

Yet somehow many times, we think, Lord, I want to keep that part of my life closed off, and when we do, God can't use it. We need to open the door, and give the Lord to use our experiences for his glory.

One of my life verses is found in the story of the blind man coming to Jesus. The disciples asked, was it this man that sinned or his parents that sinned that he was born blind. Jesus said, neither, but so that the glory of God can be manifested in his life.

I want the glory of God to be manifest in my life, no matter where it seems I am at, in no matter what situation I am in, no matter how painful the path.

This is so beautiful to read :) I really do understand. To me that feeling of wanting to hold onto my pain, to keep it private, presents such an easy opportunity to lose my witness in this area or that. When I give it to God and give up my ownership then God directs me where and when to share. I protect my experiences--they are not things I treat common or without regard. But when the Lord prompts me to share I do. They aren't *mine*.

One thing that has really blessed me is learning about community the way I have in the last two years. Then I read again Paul's discussion about praying for one another as carrying one another's burdens and our rejoicing with one another being something personal! When I have surrounded someone in prayer and gotten on my spiritual and physical knees before the Lord on their behalf, when I have shouldered their hardship, then I have personal vested interest in rejoicing with them!

And my pain has played a role in how I do my job within the Body. It makes me unique. It gives me something no one else has. It provides both strenghts and weaknesses that I need to be aware of. And no matter what, God's grace is sufficient for me.

Oliver Phillips was our guest pastor yesterday and he shared such a powerful message. He discussed our lives with the Ford motto of "Built for the road ahead" and how our current experiences are sometimes test drives that prepare us for the road ahead. He pointed out that the windshield is huge while the rear view mirror is little and only there to give us a frame of reference and remind us where we're coming from. But our focus needs to be out the windshield--to where we are going.

I think a lot of Christians are uncomfortable with feelings--and that is so sad. Our feelings help to shape us, help to make us who we are. And how we respond to them and what we do with them says a lot about who we are, where we are, and how far we still have to go.

I appreciate your willingness to be open to God's prompting and leading towards sharing your experience with others who need what you now have to offer. I'm blessed that the Body is now so much more equipped to help parents going through what you have--people who can know where there is lacking in that ministering and who can step in and offer what they wish they had received.

[Brian Blankenship]

Crystal, thanks for your encourageing words. One problem I have is that I never really like sharing my feelings, especially from the pulpit, its not easy to open up. And when I preach, I check myself to make sure its not just me to want to be so vulnerable. There's a part of that that is unhealthy. However, recentl(like the last two weeks), God has shown me that at our own church, people have responded by my ministry when I've shared my pastor's heart, rather than what I think might have been great preaching. That compassion does flow out of my experiences, and its exactly why I went into the ministry for!

[Jean Johnson]

Barb,

Thanks for your words. I've been struggling lately with this very thing. I have recently been diagnosed with colon cancer. I don't know what stage it is at yet. I'll know more after surgery. I pray for healing.......yet, I know that God may or may not heal me. I'm sensing that my emotional and spiritual health are more important in these days than the physical. Whatever the result, I want to bring glory to Him. Sometimes I'm not strong, and negative thoughts can quickly send me spiraling downward. Yet, I know that in and through it all, God desires that I trust Him whatever the final outcome.

[Barb Bouldrey]

Jean

I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I will pray that God will give you the peace you need to endure whatever my come your way.

My brother had a grapefruit size cancerous tumor removed from his colon a year ago next month. He has had chemotherapy. They removed a section of his colon and he has worn a colostomy bag now for 11 months. On June 17 he will have his colon reattached.

And he is cancer free.

I pray that for you, also. I pray that surgery is possible.

Barb

[Brian Blankenship]

My mother had a colostomy 23 years ago, and has lived all that time with the bag. Sorry to hear about all you are going through. Prayers for you and yours!