What is the difference between a Christian and a normal nice person?

[Marsha Lynn]

(Having been involved in two hijacked threads this week while vegetating and nursing a head cold, I thought I would start a new thread for this digression.)

In the "God loves you just the way you are" thread, Mark wrote (http://www.naznet.com/community/showthread.php?p=12135#poststop):
Do we intend to simply show others how nice we are in the hope that they will want to follow God?

I've heard many variations of the 'nice person' versus Christian contrast. They generally go like this, "If Christians don't __________________ then there is no difference between them and non-Christians who are simply nice." I'm not sure Mark was following that pattern, but bringing up the 'niceness' issue reminded me of this.

My question is this: If you put a Christian and a non-Christian who prides himself on being a nice person together on a reality show and told the Christian that he could not speak of his faith (and he agreed to that restriction), could you tell the difference? If so, how? Would the difference, if there were one, be noticeable enough that someone might be attracted to Christianity by it?

I have some thoughts on this (as you might have guessed :basic03 ) but will give others a chance to respond first.

Marsha

[Barb Bouldrey]

A very nice person who is not a Christian is just a very nice person who has never accepted Jesus as his/her Savior.

A Christian who is not a very nice person is fooling himself/herself by calling himself/herself a Christian. She/he has a spiritual problem.

We all have our days and moods, but overall, on a daily basis, Christians are to be loving, joyful, kind, gentle, patient, tender, self-controlled, etc.

The only difference in the two is salvation.
Barb

[Dave McClung]

A Christian who is not a very nice person is fooling himself/herself by calling himself/herself a Christian. She/he has a spiritual problem.


Barb, I wish what you said was true, but it simply isn't true unless you define "nice" as a person who has been forgiven.

In looking for a definition of a "nice person" I found this essay:

written by Sydney Smith. Take it as you will.
Definition of "A NICE PERSON"

A nice person is neither too tall nor too short, looks clean and cheerful, has no prominent feature, makes no difficulties, is never misplaced, sits bodkin, is never foolishly affronted, and is void of affectations.
A nice person helps you well at dinner, understands you, is always gratefully received by young and old, Whig and Tory, grave and gay.
There is something in the very air of a nice person which inspires you with confidence, makes you talk, and talk without fear of malicious misrepresentation; you feel that you are reposing upon a nature which God has made kind, and created for the benefit and happiness of society. It has the effect upon the mind which soft air and a fine climate has upon the body.
A nice person is clear of little, trumpery passions, acknowledges superiority, delights in talent, shelters humility, pardons adversity, forgives deficiency, respects all men's rights, never stops the bottle, is never long and never wrong, always knows the day of the month, the name of every body at table, and never gives pain to any human being.
If any body is wanted for a party, a nice person is the first thought of; when the child is christened, when the daughter is married--all the joys of life are communicated to nice people; the hand of the dying man is always held out to a nice person.
A nice person never knocks over wine or melted butter, does not tread upon the dog's foot, or molest the family cat, eats soup without noise, laughs in the right place, and has a watchful and attentive eye. (Smith 201-202)

A person who isn't "nice" before being saved, probably won't be very nice afterward either.

Dave

[Carl Hecksher]

I think it is all motive driven. A person being nice will usually have a reason. Hopefully if you are saved and live a Christians life then you are motivated by the Holy Spirit to do good in the name of Jesus. It would be through the Holy Spirit not your mouth that people would be attracted to Christianity.

The Nice Person "unsaved" would be the one hard pressed to explain their motive.

[Ian Gentles]

I sometimes feel, "Nice people" in the world, are often Nicer than christians. If we are truely saved, shouldent it be hard for "Nice people" to be nicer than us?

[Barbara Moulton]

As a chaplain at a hospital, I am surrounded by people who have chosen a life's work that tends to the sick and continually shows care and compassion. Some are Christians and some are not. I would not say that I am nicer than any of them and most often the Christians don't seem any nicer than those who make no profession of Christian faith. And many of them seem much nicer than some of the Christians I have known.

It certainly makes it more difficult for Christians to "shine like stars" if we are surrounded by many other people who are kind and gracious too. Compassion and kindness shown because the spirit of Christ lives within us, looks much like the compassion and kindness that I see in people who live in my world. There have always been people who do evil and cruel things. However, the majority of the people I meet each day (from the bus driver to the bank teller) ARE nice.

It comes as a challenge to me. How can the light of Jesus shine in me in a way that others will see a difference? If I am to be righteous for my generation...what does that look like?

[Mark Metcalfe]

As a chaplain at a hospital, I am surrounded by people who have chosen a life's work that tends to the sick and continually shows care and compassion. Some are Christians and some are not. I would not say that I am nicer than any of them and most often the Christians don't seem any nicer than those who make no profession of Christian faith. And many of them seem much nicer than some of the Christians I have known.

It certainly makes it more difficult for Christians to "shine like stars" if we are surrounded by many other people who are kind and gracious too. Compassion and kindness shown because the spirit of Christ lives within us, looks much like the compassion and kindness that I see in people who live in my world. There have always been people who do evil and cruel things. However, the majority of the people I meet each day (from the bus driver to the bank teller) ARE nice.

It comes as a challenge to me. How can the light of Jesus shine in me in a way that others will see a difference? If I am to be righteous for my generation...what does that look like?

I have nice relatives who are apostate. Most people cannot tell
the difference. I believe that some churches have responded by
calling their people to behave differently - as a witness. In some
cases where this was handled poorly, it has only turned to legalism.
The Bible tells us to not be like the pagans. But describing behavioral
differences is likely to get rejected out of hand.

The message of the gospel is life-changing and should lead others
to know the difference between Christian and non-Christian. Perhaps
that is where old-fashioned "witnessing" (the spoken word at the
proper time) comes in.

Mark

[Barb Bouldrey]

Dave,
I do not know what I said that is not quite true.

I have met many extremely nice people in the world who have never known Christ.

I have met extremely nice people who used to be self-centered, very selfish, even mean people who have been totally changed by surrendering to Christ and the Holy Spirit.

"A nature which God has made kind," is a phrase in the article you quoted. God makes some people naturally nice and kind by nature....by birth. But God also can change the natural man if that natural man is willing to be changed by the Holy Spirit.

I have to disagree with the idea that a person who is not "nice" before salvation will probably not be "nice" after salvation.

Where does the fruit of the Spirit come into a life that has not been changed?

Some of the Christians I know need more of the fruit of the Spirit in their lives to be "nicer" humans as well as better Christians.

Barb

[Marsha Lynn]

Thanks, all, for your thoughts. Maybe they can be summarized as saying, "Some people are nicer by nature than others are by grace"?

I think we have to go back to the foundation of Christianity to discover the difference between someone who is nice by nature and someone who is nice by grace.

I learned a song as a child that went, "Jesus and Others and You, what a wonderful way to spell J.O.Y." It was the order of the letters that was being emphasized in the song. Jesus in first place, others second, and yourself last.

Assuming the truth of the fallen nature of humanity, everyone who has not chosen to serve the living God is by default serving themselves, i.e. has the You (Me) first. In my opinion believing in the fallen nature precludes accepting the idea that true altruism (putting Others first) exists in our world. However, many times people discover that there is great personal benefit in serving others. It makes one feel good to be kind and get smiles in return. There is pleasure in knowing that the world is a better place because of our efforts. It gives us badly needed worth. And as we serve others, we make an investment that we hope will lead to us in turn be recipients of kindness. In short, being nice to others makes people love us and helps us love ourselves.

In contrast, a Christian has chosen to give up serving themselves and dedicated their life to following the teachings of Jesus Christ, i.e. has Jesus first. That person no longer bases their self-worth on what they do for others. They have discovered that God's love for them is a gift, not something to be earned. They are loved for who and what they are rather than for what they do.

One of the lessons of Christianity is to have our eyes opened to the people around us. Because we have found self-worth in the eyes of God, we no longer are dependent on pleasing others in order to affirm our own value. However, now we come to realize that all those other people are equally precious in the sight of God, that they are our brothers and sisters. We love and serve them not for personal benefit but out of our love for the God who loved us first and created each one in his own image and has called us to serve.

I think that the true motivation of a person's kindness is revealed in situations where being nice loses its personal benefit. If you put a Christian and a 'nice' non-Christian next to each other on a reality show, you would probably not be able to distinguish which was which as long as things went along smoothly. Its in the squeeze that the difference begins to show. When there's more to be gained by ignoring or responding sharply to an annoying person than by treating them kindly; when friendly overtures are rebuffed; when someone takes advantage of you after you have been kind to them; when you're weary or don't feel well and those annoying people are still hanging around. Those are the times when it's possible for those around you to catch a glimpse of the true motivation behind your actions. That's when I see Christianity in work boots, loving when it would be easier to rebuff and when there is absolutely nothing to be gained from making the effort to demonstrate love, not even a feeling of having done something good.

As for Christians who do NOT demonstrate that type of kindness and gentleness when squeezed in their daily lives, I would say that they (we?) are drawing as deeply on the grace of God as the Christian who has yet to meet our moral and ethical standards, or even moreso. It's not that God's grace doesn't extend to rude (and immoral/unethical) Christians, but there's a definite disconnect between the rude Christian and the teachings of Jesus Christ that needs to be resolved in order for their (our?) relationship with God to flourish. The same writings that urge us to flee sexual immorality also command us to "be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you" and to let our "gentleness be evident to all" and to "clothe [ourselves] with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."

What do you think?

Marsha

[Cindi Hammons]

Sung to the tune of Jingle Bells

J-O-Y, J-O-Y,
This will surely mean...
Jesus first,
Yourself last
and others in between.


I learned this song in 2nd grade from someone I really looked up to. Brenda Gould was from our church but served as a Missionary in France, Haiti, Martinique and Cote d'Ivoir. She taught us that song while on deputation break.

Cindi H.

[Dave McClung]

Dave,
I do not know what I said that is not quite true.

I have met many extremely nice people in the world who have never known Christ.

Barb

You said, "A Christian who is not a very nice person is fooling himself/herself by calling himself/herself a Christian. She/he has a spiritual problem."

I believe that the devil uses that very suggestion to defeat many of us. The logic is "You are not very nice; therefore, God would never love you." The Biblical truth is that we don't have to be nice for God to love us. There are a lot of us who are still working on the "being nice" thing. I don't think we are fooling ourselves in believeing that God accepts us just like we are.

Dave

[Wilson L. Deaton]

Even if a non-Christian, a nice person is only "nice" by the (prevenient) grace of God. Without prevenient grace the capacity for "nice" wouldn't be there.

So I guess that is not the difference but it is something that makes them the same!!!

Wilson

[Gina Stevenson]

... as I've been reading this thread, the verse kept coming to me where it speaks about "the light that lighteth every man that cometh into the world," or similar words. Now, as we know "every man" has not come to the Lord, yet some can seem to exhibit qualities which equate to "spiritual fruits," perhaps it is that "same spirit" ("light" as the verse says) inherent within each one that -- if not overpowered by "the flesh, world, & the devil" (such a verse as that, too) -- that seeks God from within, whether one knows/realizes whom they are seeking or not. [may not have said what I mean exactly plain, but if not clear, let me know, eh? ;) ]

Even if a non-Christian, a nice person is only "nice" by the (prevenient) grace of God. Without prevenient grace the capacity for "nice" wouldn't be there.

So I guess that is not the difference but it is something that makes them the same!!!

Wilson

[Wanda Van Winkle]

Marsha,

The following scripture passage works for me in regard to your question. On a personal basis, if I comply with this scripture, I walk away realizing that people may think there's something different about me. On the other hand, when I do not comply, I feel the opposite--that they may think there is no difference between us.

Even the nicest of humans have difficulty treating others well when others treat them poorly. As a matter of fact, I have seen people who brag about peace and holiness who do not follow the differences listed here. Even I think I see no difference between them and those people who have not accepted God.

So, what do you think of these passages to address your question?

Wanda Van Winkle

From Bible Gateway, Luke Chapter 6, New International Version:

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%206;&version=31;

"Love for Enemies

27"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. 30Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31Do to others as you would have them do to you.

32"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. 33And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. 34And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. 35But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful."

[Mark Doble]

firstly, salvation

secondly, our fruits

[BenJAMin Bristow]

Could Saul be called a "christian/ good church member"?

[Marsha Lynn]

Someone found this thread recently and left a comment on my blog asking me to post more thoughts on the subject. It has taken me a while but I didn't need to be asked twice. :basic03

If anyone is interested, they are here (http://marshalyn.blogspot.com/2008/01/difference-between-christian-and-nice.html). I don't know that it's anything new, just a more fundamental presentation of my views on the topic.

Marsha

PS: Less than two hours after publishing the blog entry, I used Google to hunt down this thread and the new blog post had already been picked up as a hit. That's almost kind of scary.

[Kevin Rector]

What do you think?

Marsha

I think that you said about what I was going to say.

[Billy Cox]

I've heard many variations of the 'nice person' versus Christian contrast. They generally go like this, "If Christians don't __________________ then there is no difference between them and non-Christians who are simply nice." I'm not sure Mark was following that pattern, but bringing up the 'niceness' issue reminded me of this.

My question is this: If you put a Christian and a non-Christian who prides himself on being a nice person together on a reality show and told the Christian that he could not speak of his faith (and he agreed to that restriction), could you tell the difference? If so, how? Would the difference, if there were one, be noticeable enough that someone might be attracted to Christianity by it?


I think the whole question of niceness is a rabbit trail that leads nowhere. Niceness is judged completely on what we do or don't do.

If I am 'nice' to 51% of the people I encounter, does that make me a nice person or is it an all or nothing proposition? If I am nice to 100% of the people I meet, but one person misinterprets my niceness and describes me as 'mean', does that mean I am not a nice person?

Let's say that I'm a nice person, but after seeing a shiny sports car parked across two parking spots in a full parking lot, how do I regain my niceness after keying their hood? Is there an incantation or ritual that can restore me to niceness?

That whole "If Christians don't __________________ then there is no difference between them and non-Christians who are simply nice." is right up there on the bogus-meter with "eat your vegetables because there are starving children in Africa" guilt trip.

btw, niceness isn't a fruit of the Spirit, but kindness and gentleness are.

[Billy Cox]

You said, "A Christian who is not a very nice person is fooling himself/herself by calling himself/herself a Christian. She/he has a spiritual problem."

I believe that the devil uses that very suggestion to defeat many of us. The logic is "You are not very nice; therefore, God would never love you." The Biblical truth is that we don't have to be nice for God to love us. There are a lot of us who are still working on the "being nice" thing. I don't think we are fooling ourselves in believeing that God accepts us just like we are.

Dave

This brought to my mind the expression "you're just being nice", which is said when one thinks that the truth is being withheld to preserve their fragile ego.

When I think of heroes of the Bible, the word 'nice' does not come to mind.

[Marsha Lynn]

When I think of heroes of the Bible, the word 'nice' does not come to mind.

How about "gentle and humble in heart" (Mt 11:29)?

It seems that there's a temptation to lift experience above scripture on this topic. The fact that there are a lot of Christians who are not gentle and humble in heart is somehow seen as negating all of the Bible passages that instruct us to be that way.

The logic goes:
1. Joe is a dedicated Christian.
2. Joe is not always kind.
3. Therefore, kindness is not a requirement to be a Christian.

How do we build an entire campaign against homosexuality on a few verses that could be interpreted in different ways, but so easily dismiss the many verses that equate kindness and gentleness with the Christian lifestyle simply because we don't see Christians living that way?

As I've stated elsewhere, I'm not going to deChristianize rude people in the church, but neither will I accept that love and kindness are not required of us as Christians simply because so many (all?) of us fall short.

However, if you really want to go that way, then the answer to my original question is simple: The difference between a Christian and a nice person is that nice people are actually nice in their dealings with others.

OK, I've tried to resist, but here come the "proof texts":

1 Cor 13:4-5 - Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Eph 4:2 - Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Eph 4:32 - Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

1 Th 5:13 - Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.

1 Tim 3:2-3 - Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.

2 Tim 2:24 - And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 25 Those who oppose him he must gently instruct...

1 Peter 3:3-4 - Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

1 Peter 3:8 - Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.

How can we set aside these commands as less essential to the Christian lifestyle than those about stealing and sexual immorality?

:fav03

Marsha

[Sara Sheppard]

Dave,

I disagree that a "not nice" person will remain that way or even likely remain that way after becoming a Christian (at least as we understand it from our Wesleyan background) which would require us to grow in that salvation. I do not believe that our personality is going to be transformed in an instant and I don't think that we will be nice 100% of the time. But, the longer we are a Christian...the more our personality, motives, etc are to become like Christ. I think that basically demands me to be nice....LOL I mean, if a person claims to be a Christian and has been for many years.....would they go about being rude to people? It would cause me to also believe they may have spiritual problems. Where is the love being seen in a person's life if they are not nice.

Now, I think we all might define nice in different ways. I'm not talking "sugary sweet". I'm saying, a nice person let's someone else go in front of them in line. A nice person holds the door. A nice person notices someone taking the cart back to the store and since they are on their way in offers to take it in. I believe that a non-Christian can be nice but I do not think that a person who is "growing" in their relationship with Christ can remain UN-nice in their day-to-day life.

We still may have to do "un-nice" things from time to time (i.e. fire someone or tell the truth which isn't pretty). But even these things can be done in "nicer" ways than others.

Sara

[Marsha Lynn]

btw, niceness isn't a fruit of the Spirit, but kindness and gentleness are.

So what is the difference between a "kind and gentle" Christian and an ordinary nice person?

btw, "nice" isn't a word I chose. This is coming from those who tell me that no one will be able to tell the difference between "Christian" and "nice" if we don't vocally tie our gentleness and kindness back to our faith. I presume that "nice" means civil and well-mannered and only has to last as long as our contact with the person who mistakes us for an ordinary "nice person" when it's actually our commitment to Christ that is making us kind and gentle. It would be up to the person watching us to judge whether our actions are "not nice," "ordinarily nice," or something beyond ordinary niceness that might bring the words "kind" and "gentle" to mind.

Somehow the answer didn't come up in that "real life" discussion behind my original post that the difference would be that ordinary nice people clearly have more pleasant dispositions than most Christians and no one has any difficulty telling them apart. The Christians are the grouchy ones.

:rolleyes:

Marsha

[Tami Martin]

Well, the passage that came to my mind was I Peter 3:15.

A "nice" Christian will still be "nice" when the doo doo is hitting the fan. Well. They should be.

BTW, I am also in the "nice" isn't one of the fruits of the Spirit, so it's going to be hard to come to a concensus on what it might mean. However, it's a common appelation used either for us or against us. Wouldn't hurt to have an answer ready.

[Billy Cox]

Somehow the answer didn't come up in that "real life" discussion behind my original post that the difference would be that ordinary nice people clearly have more pleasant dispositions than most Christians and no one has any difficulty telling them apart. The Christians are the grouchy ones.


I was going to say something to that effect - since that is never the intended answer - but I decided to post a more constructive response. :basic05

[Billy Cox]

Well, the passage that came to my mind was I Peter 3:15.

A "nice" Christian will still be "nice" when the doo doo is hitting the fan. Well. They should be.

BTW, I am also in the "nice" isn't one of the fruits of the Spirit, so it's going to be hard to come to a concensus on what it might mean. However, it's a common appelation used either for us or against us. Wouldn't hurt to have an answer ready.

I don't think that Christians should aspire to 'be nice'. The word reminds me of the doormat gospel which is no gospel at all.

The words kindness and gentleness would be worth a word study since their face value meaning is just as milquetoast and weak-chinned as 'nice'.

[Ryan Scott]

This will probably be out of place as I haven't been a participant (or even a reader) of this thread, but having seen the question out there in the forum for a while now, I just have to answer it:

"Not as much as we'd like to think."

[Marsha Lynn]

I don't think that Christians should aspire to 'be nice'. The word reminds me of the doormat gospel which is no gospel at all.

The words kindness and gentleness would be worth a word study since their face value meaning is just as milquetoast and weak-chinned as 'nice'.

You may be onto something here, Billy. Perhaps the difference between a Christian and a common "nice person" is that the same niceness that is a sign of weakness in the doormat-style nice person can be seen by the discerning observer as a sign of strength in the Christian who chooses kindness and gentleness when they have "stronger" resources at hand.

"When I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Cor 12:10)

This calls to mind a scene from when my son was in high school. We were in the school gym for some event, sitting on the bleachers, and Andrew happened to be sitting with friends in my line of vision. A younger boy was sitting behind him and I watched as, in typical jr-high fashion, this kid tried to annoy Andrew enough to get a reaction. He would tug at his clothes or put his foot in his back, whatever it took to get a response. Andrew was preoccupied and swatted away whatever appendage the boy used to invade his space in an absent-minded manner. Finally, however, he tired of the game, turned around, and gave the kid his full attention. He took both of the boys hands in his own, firmly pressed them against his seat, and said a few words which I presume added up to, "Stop that." Then he turned back to his friends. The kid didn't bother him again.

Now, I don't know that my son has ever deliberately hurt anyone in his life (other than his sisters). This kid was not in danger of being beaten to a pulp if he continued being annoying. Yet, he responded to that gentle but firm admonishment from someone bigger and stronger than he was. He had achieved his goal of getting Andrew's full attention, even if it was three seconds of negative attention, and did not need to be hit upside the head to figure out that it was time to move on.

Somehow, when we're strong in the Lord, I don't think kindness and gentleness are at all as weak as they might look at first glance. We have a strength behind us that allows us more freedom to explore options that fall into the gentle and kind category, just as my high school son was able to do with his younger and weaker antagonist.

At least it seems worth a try. And perhaps the deliberate choice behind our "niceness" is indeed the difference that signifies our commitment to the teachings of Jesus Christ -- when we manage to find resources in Christ to make that choice.

Marsha

[Billie Goodson]

Re: What is the difference between a Christian and a normal nice person?

I'm still bothered to learn I might not be normal....:basic04

[Charlotte Mercer]

My question is, are we asking what the difference would be between the average Christian and the average non-Christian nice person, or are we asking what it should be? And, further than that, are we asking the difference between the average Christian and the average nice non-Christian, or are we asking the difference between the average Christian and an exceptionally nice non-Christian?

Now, I do believe that the average Christian ought to be more kind and loving than the average non-Christian, because it seems like those sort of qualities are to be the way we show the world that we are followers of Christ and that we have something different to offer the world. But, to tell the truth, I have no idea whether the average Christian is significantly nicer in practice than the average non-Christian, although I do know that in high school, many of the people I recall seeming happier and nicer were, coincidentally or not, Christians, while noticeably fewer of the unhappy or mean people were.

[Richard Call]

Jesus gave the best answer to this question: John 13: 34-35, NIV, "34"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

[Brenda Jackson]

I think that it would be obvious straight away if the Christian is living in the presence of the living God, but not if he/she is not.

I think that even the look in the eyes will be different and the way they look at you, full of real compassion yet with realism, knowing man for exactly what he is, and not either suspicious or naive. The Christian will have a demeanor of peace and confidence but without any egoism. He will speak words of wisdom and comfort and a word fitly spoken like apples of gold in pictures of silver Prov 25:11.

[Anne and Dwayne Hood]

Jesus does accept us, just as we are, but after His forgiveness, He expects us to change. It might take a little time, because of habits we have formed, but how in the world long, are we allowed to continue to gripe and grumble and complain?

I have seen lots of "Christians" in places of leadership, or pastoring a larger church than my husband did, very strongly showing ways that said they thought they were "better than thou." I feel that I have felt it on Naznet, also. This is not nice.

[Genevieve Boller]

I think the biggest difference between the two nice people (one Christian and one not) would be that which you cannot see - peace.

Or, to put it another way, WHY are they nice? Because they have the surpassing peace of Christ in their souls, which compels them to love? Or because they want to earn favor (or good karma, so to speak) with "the universe"? Or because they are afraid people won't like them? Or because they are naturally empathic (which would still be from God, although they may not recognize it)?

Whatever the reason, it will be invisible to most. I do contend, though, that Christians have a way of recognizing each other, even if we don't say a word. Of course, I can believe that because I believe in the Holy Spirit... but there is a sort of internal peace that only others with that same peace seem to be able to recognize.

[Billie Goodson]

Some of the responses seem to indicate what we think the difference should be, but, not necessarily in agreement that they are what is seen.