Discovering the obvious

[Hans Deventer]

As some may have noticed, I'm not the greatest fan of the new "friends" option. I just don't like to create distinctions. But, as people kept requesting me to be added as a friend and turning people down that I really like is no fun either, I surrendered.

So, in order to still not make any distinctions, I decided to ask every regular poster to be my "friend". I started with the membership list sorted on number of posts (no, I haven't finished yet, it's quite a job, I've reached the 500 posts members) and I found out that I actually do consider pretty much each and everyone as a friend! Then I realised that obviously, one likes to hang out with friends, and I've been hanging out here for a while. A typical "duh" moment. :basic05

[Joanne Vergin]

I thought someone had hi-jacked your account Hans. I could not believe my eyes. Happy though!

[Karen Mercer]

I've always thought of you as a friend, too, Hans... lol. Whether or not I saw it in print.
:-D

[Cindi Hammons]

Uh, yeah, I'm with Karen. I wondered what had happened to cause this change. :)

[G R 'Scott' Cundiff]

It's too bad in a way. When I received your request I didn't feel triumphant. Instead, I felt I had been treated as a friend in a personal way and it made me feel good. I kind of hate to find out it was just part of a mass emailing.

I've been working on adding people to my friends list, but I have missed many people. I'm trying to think of why I appreciate those who are already on my friends list and sign their "visitor messages" page with a note of appreciation. I'm taking my time, working through each one and giving it some thought. Once I "catch up" I'll start adding people to the friends list again.

[Hans Deventer]

It's too bad in a way. When I received your request I didn't feel triumphant. Instead, I felt I had been treated as a friend in a personal way and it made me feel good. I kind of hate to find out it was just part of a mass emailing.

Man, this is really frustrating! :basic04 It seems I just can do nothing right with this "friends" stuff. Whatever I do, people get offended! Don't you see what it does? I tried to give it a positive application and now look at your own reaction!

And I don't understand it either, especially after you read what I've written! Come one, Scott, we know each other well enough to know that I appreciate you very much and vice versa. You haven't been invited with even the remotest trace of insincerity, I do consider you a friend.

Really, you don't think God love you less because He loves the rest of the world as well, do you? The exclusiveness behind the "friends" option is exactly what I resent so much. It's not like God.

And what if I had added two or three that I had second thoughts about? Isn't it great to add them as friends and realise that they are brothers and sisters in Christ that I owe nothing but my love? I was doing it this morning and realised I at least WANT them to be friends. In all honesty, there was no one on the list that I didn't want there. And that is exactly what makes NazNet the great place that it is.

Please reconsider your reaction. Please.

[G R 'Scott' Cundiff]

Man, this is really frustrating! It seems I just can do nothing right with this "friends" stuff. Whatever I do, people get offended! Don't you see what it does? I tried to give it a positive application and now look at your own reaction!

Really, you don't think God love you less because He loves the rest of the world as well, do you? The exclusiveness behind the "friends" option is exactly what I resent so much. It's not like God.


All you had to do was send all the "friends" requests and stay quiet about it instead of coming to the forum to announce that it really doesn't mean anything.

Really, it is a small deal, not a big one. I've been saying that from the beginning.

[Hans Deventer]

All you had to do was send all the "friends" requests and stay quiet about it instead of coming to the forum to announce that it really doesn't mean anything.

I wanted to share something positive that I found while doing the requests. I was glad to find how many people I do consider friends. And now I get the blame for it :basic04

Anyway, I'll listen. If more people react the way you do, apparently, I did something wrong. If not, I'll leave it at this.

[Meghan Schoonover]

Well, Hans, you're my one and only friend, apparently! LOL!

I was glad for the explanation b/c I'd noticed the note in your siggy.

[Hans Deventer]

Well, Hans, you're my one and only friend, apparently! LOL!

You are, Meghan. I enjoyed meeting you at NNU, but already before, reading your posts here. I'm grateful for your contribution to NazNet.

[Marsha Lynn]

It's too bad in a way. When I received your request I didn't feel triumphant. Instead, I felt I had been treated as a friend in a personal way and it made me feel good. I kind of hate to find out it was just part of a mass emailing.

I've been working on adding people to my friends list, but I have missed many people. I'm trying to think of why I appreciate those who are already on my friends list and sign their "visitor messages" page with a note of appreciation. I'm taking my time, working through each one and giving it some thought. Once I "catch up" I'll start adding people to the friends list again.

Man, this is really frustrating! :basic04 It seems I just can do nothing right with this "friends" stuff. Whatever I do, people get offended! Don't you see what it does? I tried to give it a positive application and now look at your own reaction!

And I don't understand it either, especially after you read what I've written! Come one, Scott, we know each other well enough to know that I appreciate you very much and vice versa. You haven't been invited with even the remotest trace of insincerity, I do consider you a friend.

I was talking to my daughter just yesterday about the puzzling responses I have to cards and notes. Not my choice of response, but my "gut reaction". For example, I can get a handwritten, personalized note from someone at church telling me how much they appreciate me and think, "Hmm... I must have come up on this person's list for their card-writing duties." I hate that response within myself. I mean, how unappreciative can you get?

On the other hand, my husband and I receive a printed card from Tri-State University every February. The typed message is along the lines of: "Happy Valentine's Day to our Tri-State sweethearts." Our wedding was between our junior and senior years as students there. 30 years later, they send us a card for Valentine's Day. (Tuesday was our 30th anniversary.) And it warms my heart every time. I always appreciate birthday cards from our insurance company or dentist and the Christmas card we get from the Dobsons (Jim & Shirley). I can't figure out why they evoke a more positive response in my heart than receiving cards from friends who took the time to select and sign a card, address an envelope to me, stamp it, and mail it. Maybe because the less personal ones don't include an expectation of response? Maybe because I know that they know that they wouldn't have to send those cards to meet my expectations for them?

Hans, I too was surprised to see your friend invitation but was glad to accept it. I appreciate your approach of including all of us as friends. I'm sorry that the friend option has been a source of frustration for you.

Scott, thank you for the personalized notes of appreciation you have posted and continue to post to various profiles. I'm glad I discovered that you are including many people in your appreciation before reacting as though you chose me particularly for such a note. I appreciate your uplifting comments, particularly past moments of spontaneous encouragement with which you have gifted me and others.

I'm still not sure exactly what it means that someone is my official "NazNet friend," but I sure appreciate all of my friends here whether they are on my official friend list or not. Thanks for all of you who make NazNet what it is. There are a lot of wonderful people around here.

Marsha

:love)

[Barb Bouldrey]

And now, what do we do with our friend's list? Invite them to dinner?

LOL

Mr. Rogers used to sing, "Won't You Be My Neighbor."

My goodness, Hans, it must take a long time to invite the entire list of posters to be your friend. That was really nice of you.

I have had a few requests to be a friend, but I do not know what to do with it.

LOL

Barb

[Glenda Harvey]

Hans,

I'm glad you clarified. I had just read a post stating your feelings on the friends request option and was sure you had clicked on something by mistake causing you to make a friend request. Is there room on the friends page for everyone if we all accept your friend request?

[Hans Deventer]

And now, what do we do with our friend's list? Invite them to dinner?

That would be great, but with the current airfares, even getting here might be a little expensive.

But if all of you care to join me at NNU in February for a nice pot luck dinner, that would be wonderful!

[Hans Deventer]

Hans,

I'm glad you clarified. I had just read a post stating your feelings on the friends request option and was sure you had clicked on something by mistake causing you to make a friend request. Is there room on the friends page for everyone if we all accept your friend request?

Don't worry, Glenda. Like in the Father's house, there seem to be many mansions here.

[Marsha Lynn]

I wanted to share something positive that I found while doing the requests. I was glad to find how many people I do consider friends. And now I get the blame for it :basic04

Anyway, I'll listen. If more people react the way you do, apparently, I did something wrong. If not, I'll leave it at this.

Actually, to have others react as Scott did requires a special level of friendship. When I saw your request I thought, "Oh, is Hans doing the 'friend' thing now? How nice." It never crossed my mind that you would have picked me out as a special exception to your previous policy of not participating. Although I love and appreciate you and consider you a friend, I have no illusion that you would put me on a list of exceptions to your "not doing the friend thing" policy.

If disappointment can be mathematically expressed as expectations divided by reality, having someone disappointed to discover you didn't purposefully pick them out for friendship requires optimism that you have an above-average relationship with them, which as moderators and long-time friends is truly the case for you and Scott. So having others disappointed by the universality of your friendship requests would require that they place high value on their relationship with you, certainly not a terrible thing.

One of the early obstacles in my faith journey was a reaction that I have seen expressed on satirical t-shirts: "Jesus loves you. But then he loves everybody." There's something about us that doesn't want to be just one of the crowd, that wants people whose opinions we especially value to love us especially well because they find us as special as we find them. One of the most amazing parts of God's love is that it truly fits that pattern. He loves you and me not because He couldn't figure out a way to make exceptions in John 3:16, but because He created us as we are and is pleased with each unique outcome of His creative process. God truly adds everyone to His "friend list" and yet communicates to each of us that we have a special place in His heart that no other person can fill.

Amazing, eh? It's good to see you following that same pattern.

:basic01

[Hans Deventer]

Thanks Marsha, you're a true friend (not denigrating others with that statement!)

[Grandma Carolyn]

Man, this is really frustrating! :basic04 It seems I just can do nothing right with this "friends" stuff. Whatever I do, people get offended! Don't you see what it does? I tried to give it a positive application and now look at your own reaction!

And I don't understand it either, especially after you read what I've written! Come one, Scott, we know each other well enough to know that I appreciate you very much and vice versa. You haven't been invited with even the remotest trace of insincerity, I do consider you a friend.

Really, you don't think God love you less because He loves the rest of the world as well, do you? The exclusiveness behind the "friends" option is exactly what I resent so much. It's not like God.

And what if I had added two or three that I had second thoughts about? Isn't it great to add them as friends and realise that they are brothers and sisters in Christ that I owe nothing but my love? I was doing it this morning and realised I at least WANT them to be friends. In all honesty, there was no one on the list that I didn't want there. And that is exactly what makes NazNet the great place that it is.

Please reconsider your reaction. Please.

I'm boohooing here!! I have spent the last hour writing two replys to your post here and they both were not accepted. When I push the submit button they went into outer space. Then the log in page comes up for me. I was logged IN!! I am devastated!!

[Hal Paul]

I'm boohooing here!! I have spent the last hour writing two replys to your post here and they both were not accepted. When I push the submit button they went into outer space. Then the log in page comes up for me. I was logged IN!! I am devastated!!

When that happens, don't go back, don't hit refresh, just login as prompted. Once you are logged in again, you can refresh the page and your post will show up.

[Grandma Carolyn]

When that happens, don't go back, don't hit refresh, just login as prompted. Once you are logged in again, you can refresh the page and your post will show up.

Thanks, Hal. Do you think it could still be in the system somewhere?

I'll just say, maybe the Lord knew that I might need some more time to think about what I was saying! :)

It's pretty good when God comes in and zaps out of our mouths, keyboard, or whatever, to give us more time to "think before speaking".

I'll go work in my yard, work and think, and try again later to contribute my thoughts on the opportunity we are given to be available to all for keeping our friendships close and caring.

I've discovered that Jesus doesn't tell me what to do ahead of time. He just wants us/me to be available to love others and Him in the image of our Father that He created us to be, when He provides the opportunities.

And with that, I'm trying. :)

gc

[Ed Laubster]

All this confusion is why no one gets added to my "friends" list until their check clears...

[Hal Paul]

Thanks, Hal. Do you think it could still be in the system somewhere?



As far as I can tell, if you do anything but login immediately when prompted the post is lost.

[Hal Paul]

All this confusion is why no one gets added to my "friends" list until their check clears...

Mines in the mail.

[Mark Metcalfe]

As some may have noticed, I'm not the greatest fan of the new "friends" option.

I would not have been here without it.
Maybe that was not an obvious discovery after all.

Mark

[Hans Deventer]

I would not have been here without it.
Maybe that was not an obvious discovery after all.

True! Seems God has a way of bringing good out of things one initially doesn't consider to be good. I'm happy to be proven mistaken.

[Zarina Simpson]

Ok, I am completely new in here. Yes, I am a newbie. What an awful term. I was reading some posts and saw,
There were no utensils in medieval times, hence there are no utensils at Medieval Times. Would you like a refill on your Pepsi?

I was there last month and had that exact thought. The "wench" was explaining why she couldn't give someone silver and the lady explained she was from the south and really, it was not the way she had planned to eat. Had she planned on it she wouldn't have had her nails done that day. Then the wench asked her if she wanted more soda. I'm so glad that it didn't escape someone elses noodle when they heard this little gem of hypocrisy. After the wench moved on I asked the lady who had asked for silverware, did they tip in medieval times?

This is prolly not the place for this comment but since I am a "newb" I wasn't sure and I did want to voice.

BTW, I am Zarina, as in Nazarina. My parents had a sense of humor as you can see. I've always been thankful they weren't Catholic and hence, Catholicina, or Buddhist and be named Buddharina. They just don't roll like the Naz does.

So now I am no longer a post virgin. I'm glad.

http://www.naznet.com/community/images/icons/icon11.gif Zarina

[Susan Unger]

BTW, I am Zarina, as in Nazarina. My parents had a sense of humor as you can see. I've always been thankful they weren't Catholic and hence, Catholicina, or Buddhist and be named Buddharina. They just don't roll like the Naz does.

So now I am no longer a post virgin. I'm glad.

http://www.naznet.com/community/images/icons/icon11.gif Zarina


They named you after Nazarina? Now that's dedication...

Although at first glance, I thought your name was a reference to slavic royalty http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zarina. Having slavic ancestry, it really was close to my first thought.

[Zarina Simpson]

They named you after Nazarina? Now that's dedication...

Although at first glance, I thought your name was a reference to slavic royalty http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zarina. Having slavic ancestry, it really was close to my first thought.


Due to my name, I always suspected that I was some lost royalty and once day would find my tiara and adoption paperwork in the last dusty box in the attic of the old family farmhouse, next to the old butter churn. It would proclaim me as something like Princess Zarina, second cousin thrice removed, to the heir of the throne. Of course it would be a throne long since lost and the family beheaded more than likely. My luck, the country would be something like Hungary and I would be forever known as "the Princess of Hungary" and wherever I would be announced, I would hear some heckler say "Feed her!"

Would sure be nice to find that lost tiara though. I would love to reset the stones into a more contemporary setting like Princess Di did. On that note, I am going to go check my kiln and then more than likely, go to bed. Woohoo! It's Saturday night and I am still awake!

:p

[Susan Unger]

It's Saturday night and I am still awake!

:p

I am still wide awake too. Gotta a migraine and can't sleep. :fun05