Question for the experienced pastors

[Jenny Mitchell]

Dear friends,

I've been asked to do a renewal of wedding vows service for a couple in the military who got married overseas. I'm thrilled, but I don't really know how. What would the differences between such a service and a 'normal' wedding service be? I have to confess that this is the first wedding-type service I've done, so any words of wisdom you can share with me would be deeply appreciated.

Thanks.

Grace and peace,
Jenny Mitchell

[Michael B. Ross]

Jenny, I have performed many vow renewal "weddings." They can be very meaningful. I often get a little choked up when I lead the couple through their steps of renewal.

I suspect a Google would give you some ideas that would be better than mine. I will say that what has been most meaningful for me and those I "re-married" is a variation of the traditional vows. In other words, "we are here to celebrate 50 years of marriage by the repeating of the vows made five decades ago. Now, three children and eight grandchildren later, this couple even more understands the value and sacredness of these words." Or something like that. I use the words "repeat," "renew," "continue" and "reaffirm" a lot. Example: "Do you again reaffirm your love for each other? Will you continue your lives of commitment, love and faithfulness?"

I think you get the idea.

By the way, I am in Gainesville Florida where my wife and I were married in 1969. A couple of years ago when we were visiting here, I surprised her with a vow renewal. The Nazarene church in which we were married is gone and is now a bank parking lot. I arranged my wife's sister to bring her by the bank, pretending to need some ATM cash. I was waiting with another ring and even had located the pastor who had married us. Other family members joined me in waiting. When the van pulled up, I opened the door, got on my knee, and said: "Diana, you married me on this spot 34 years ago. Can I repeat my vows and re-affirm my love to you again?" Then, the same pastor led a brief ceremony. Needless to say: everyone, including me, cried.

Dear friends,

I've been asked to do a renewal of wedding vows service for a couple in the military who got married overseas. I'm thrilled, but I don't really know how. What would the differences between such a service and a 'normal' wedding service be? I have to confess that this is the first wedding-type service I've done, so any words of wisdom you can share with me would be deeply appreciated.

Thanks.

Grace and peace,
Jenny Mitchell

[Barbara Moulton]

I've only ever done one such ceremony. As per their wishes, I combined "traditional vows" only phrased them as "continuing Promises ".

Example:
_______________do you renew your committment to ___________, to love, comfort, and honour her, in sickness and in health, continuing to forsake all others giving yourself to her alone as long as you both shall live.

I also gave them opportunity to express their personal thoughts to each other within the ceremony.

I finished by blessed their marriage.

[G R 'Scott' Cundiff]

Here's a ceremony I have used.

---


Renewal of vows


Dearly beloved: We are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the presence of these witnesses, to reaffirm the vows made between this man and this woman in holy matrimony on _______________, ____________ . Matrimony is an honorable estate, instituted of God in the time of man’s innocency, signifying unto us the mystical union that exists between Christ and His Church. This holy estate Christ adorned and beautified with his presence and first miracle that he performed in Cana of Galilee, and St. Paul commended as being honorable among all. It is, therefore, not to be entered into rashly, but reverently, discreetly, and in the fear of God.

It is this holy estate that ____________ and _____________ wish to reaffirm today.

_____________ and _____________ at this time I want to remind you that as those joined together by God, you do not need to restate your vows so much as to live according to them. However, it is a good thing that you are doing and in a nation where the husband and wife relationship is often under attack it is important that a couple be often reminded of the love they share the sacred promises they have made to one another. With this in mind, we shall continue with this renewal of vows.

________________ do you reaffirm your vow to have this woman as your wedded wife, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you continue to love, comfort, honor, and keep her, in sickness and in health; and, continuing to forsake all others, keep yourself only unto her, so long as you both shall live? If so, answer “I will.”

________________ do you reaffirm your vow to have this man as your wedded husband, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you continue to love, comfort, honor, and keep him, in sickness and in health; and, continuing to forsake all others, keep yourself only unto him, so long as you both shall live? If so, answer “I will.”

Please face each other and join hands.

_______________ please make this vow to ____________

I, _____________, reaffirm to you ________________, that I take you as my wedded wife, to have and to hold, for better – for worse, for richer – for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and to this I pledge you my faith.

_______________ please make this vow to ____________

I, _____________, reaffirm to you ________________, that I take you as my wedded husband, to have and to hold, for better – for worse, for richer – for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and to this I pledge you my faith.

Prayer

Due to the fact that ________________ and ___________________ have reaffirmed their wedding vows together, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, we, as a gathering of family and friends rejoice with them in this renewed assurance of their love for one another, and pray the blessing of God in their continued lives together.

_________________ you may kiss your bride and wife.

[Walter Palmer]

what does the couple want bring them into the planning. it is their "day"

[Jenny Mitchell]

Dear Walt,

Thanks for the reminder - you are so right. The couple has asked me for ideas, though, so I thought I'd see what you all had to say - and I always enjoy the words of wisdom you share.

Grace and peace,
Jenny

[David van Beveren]

Hi Jenny,

After only three years in ministry I don't think I am already an experienced pastor. And in teh Netherlands it is not common to renew your vows.
Although Elly and I have asked our pastor in 1998 if we he would officiate in a short ceremony during sunday morning service. And we had a wonderful moment in that service.

This morning I had a couple that celebrated the 35th anniversary of their marriage. They asked me if they could come forward so that I could have a prayer of thanksgiving with them. I asked them if they would give a testimony about how God had sustained their marriage during this time.
They had a very good and humble testimony. Then that I prayed with them and blessed them. After that the church sang a song of benediction.

In a time where marriages have a hard time in staying together. It is great to have couples in your church that testify of God's great presence as the third party in the marriage covenant.
Such a testimony is a blessing for those that had just began the adventurous way of marriage.

May the Lord bless you in your ministry

[Ian Gentles]

Dear friends,

I've been asked to do a renewal of wedding vows service for a couple in the military who got married overseas. I'm thrilled, but I don't really know how. What would the differences between such a service and a 'normal' wedding service be? I have to confess that this is the first wedding-type service I've done, so any words of wisdom you can share with me would be deeply appreciated.

Thanks.

Grace and peace,
Jenny Mitchell

I actualy did one for two couples, half way through the Channel tunnel on a Eurostar train. I kept it light, but solumn, rejoicing in their love for each other. Rejoice in their God given love is the answer, my two cents worth.

[BobHunt]

you could draw up, have them and witnesses sign!



THE MARRIAGE COVENANT

Believing that God in His wisdom and providence
has established marriage as a covenant relationship, a sacred and lifelong promise, reflecting our unconditional
love for one another and believing that God intends for the
marriage covenant to reflect His promise to never leave us nor forsake us,
We the undersigned, do hereby reaffirm our solemn pledge to fulfill our marriage vows.
Furthermore, we pledge to exalt the sacred nature and permanence of the marriage covenant by calling others to honor and fulfill their marriage vows.

(on the left side, as follows)

In the Presence of God
and these witnesses, and by a holy
covenant, I, __________________
joyfully receive you as God's perfect gift for me,
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health, to love you, to
honor you, to cherish you and to protect you,
forsaking all others as long as we both shall live.


Witnessed this day, ___________________


(and then print the exact same on the right)




(underneath all, on the bottom, print)


Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it. Psalm 127:1



(We attended a marriage seminar in Chicago, a few years ago, and this is the 18 X 24 certificate they gave us to frame. It is done in fancy writing, with silver and gold.)

[Cindi Hammons]

By the way, I am in Gainesville Florida where my wife and I were married in 1969. A couple of years ago when we were visiting here, I surprised her with a vow renewal. The Nazarene church in which we were married is gone and is now a bank parking lot. I arranged my wife's sister to bring her by the bank, pretending to need some ATM cash. I was waiting with another ring and even had located the pastor who had married us. Other family members joined me in waiting. When the van pulled up, I opened the door, got on my knee, and said: "Diana, you married me on this spot 34 years ago. Can I repeat my vows and re-affirm my love to you again?" Then, the same pastor led a brief ceremony. Needless to say: everyone, including me, cried.


How cool is that? I would say you hit a "grand slam" with that one.

Cindi H.

[Jenny Mitchell]

Thanks, everyone! I took the info you gave me and presented it to the couple. It was very helpful

I did the ceremony today, and what a wonderful experience that was. I felt honored to be a part of this couple's life at this time.

Grace and peace,
Jenny Mitchell

[Bob Evans]

JENNY

This last spring I married the same couple two times in a 4 month period. We were in the middle of pre marital counseling when she lost her job. As a kidney transplant patient this ment the loss of her health insurance. And in order for her to manage the significant cost and pain she needed top be on his health insurance. So we had a wedding by the lake of the camp our mission owns.

We did it again in July. After the usual dearly beloveds and all thae regular stuff I pointed out the fact that the ten commandments were spoken twice in the Old Testiment. And each time the words were helpful and sacred. I then stated that in light of this fact I would like to declare this another sacred day with all the meaning and power of the first wedding. I worked in a few jokes about two wedding anniversaries and it all went well.

Much can be handled by your declarition of the second event being as sacred as the first