From Newspapers around the country

[Bruce Carriker]

Don't know that these are true, but they are purported to be headlines that appeared in newspapers around the country. If you've ever watched Jay Leno's, you've seen stuff like this before, so they could actually be real. Real or not, they're funny (my comments in italics):

Man Kills Self, Shoots Wife and Daughter

Would one of you gun experts on here please explain to me how this is possible?



Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

You mean it really wasn't supposed to crash? Honest?



Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

I want to help! How can I be deputized?



WARNING: SOME MAY BE OFFENDED BY NEXT ONE

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

That's just sick.



Miners Refuse to Work after Death

I guess all the conservatives on these boards have been correct all along. Labor unions will look for any reason not to work.



Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

While I'm sure this pleases many conservatives, shouldn't they try fixing the kid before they shoot him?





War Dims Hope for Peace

You think so, huh? Amazing!




If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

I'll bet this person would do well on Barbara's LOGIC QUIZ, posted elsewhere in these forums.




Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

I]I can see why they might.[/I]




Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

I won't presume to speak for anyone else, but I'd actually feel better if they were held up used things like concrete and steel girders.





New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

I guess the present group isn't fat enough, you think?





Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Thanks, but I think I'll stick to cookies and milk




Hospitals are Sued by Seven Foot Doctors

Those are some tall doctors!





Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Excuse me, but if they were already in the cemetery, weren't they dead before the typhoon got there?

[Glenda Harvey]

Don't know that these are true,[/I]

I'm sorry to say that these are probably actual headlines.

[Marg Shurtliff]

Bruce , there was a lady ' s body who was found on the bike path a few blocks from my house early in July . The police at first said they were NOT saying it was suspicious thought it came out later she was naked from the waist down ! Sounds suspicious to me ! This one was definitely true ! It was later treated as murder .

[Susan Unger]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

I'll bet this person would do well on Barbara's LOGIC QUIZ, posted elsewhere in these forums.


This was the best one of the bunch - loved your comment :basic05