It takes a thick skin to be a preacher

[G R 'Scott' Cundiff]

Some time ago I preached a Sunday morning sermon that seemed to be especially well received. I found out later, and second handed, that one lady went out and did some things in direct response to that sermon. Stuff like that is what keeps preachers going.

Recently, I experienced the other side of that coin. I had a sermon I really felt good about - and in all the right ways. I had sensed the leadership of the Lord as I prepared it. In fact, as do all a preachers best sermons, it had already ministered to me as I prepared it in my study through the week.

Many years ago the Lord taught me the valuable lesson of never preaching "at" anyone. Since I almost always preach expository sermons through books of the Bible, I just preach my way through books trying my best to honestly deal with the passage before me without any agenda concerning anyone.

Still, it isn't unusual for me to identify people who I think a point will especially help. The very opposite of aiming a statement "at" someone is to be aware that a point is especially suited to help someone. An example from early in my ministry: a young lady asked me exactly why it was that Jesus had to die to be our Savior. As I prepared my sermon for that next Sunday, which happened to be Easter, her question came to mind. That Sunday, I didn't preach "at" her but I preached with her question in mind.

Recently, as I prepared to preach the next sermon in a series, the passage spoke to my heart and I thought to myself, "I know some folks who will be especially helped by this sermon."

Sunday morning came and I noted more empty seats than usual. Some were out of town, some were actually in the church building but for one reason or another didn't make it into the sanctuary, others were, well, I don't know where they were.

There's almost no way a preacher can express disappointment about stuff like this without coming off sounding vain or petty. If the preacher does say anything, it is almost sure to be taken the wrong way.

So, what does the preacher do? All I know to do is grin and bear it, even as I grin and bear people telling me I only work an hour a week or that the special speaker the church had a few weeks ago "really knows how to preach" (yeah, I get my place in the comparison).

When you pour your heart into a sermon, giving it all you have, and when you know in all the right ways that some of your folks will truly be helped by it, and when those same folks decide to skip church for some reason...well, that's when it takes a thick skin to be a preacher.

--
From my General Writing blog: http://pastorscott2.blogspot.com/

[Susan Unger]

It also takes a thick skin to be a preacher when you a good chunk of the church lets you know on a weekly if not daily basis everything you are doing wrong in their eyes...and when they let you know this in an unChristlike manner. Said from personal experience watching a former pastor get attacked.

[Hans Deventer]

It also takes a thick skin to be a preacher when you a good chunk of the church lets you know on a weekly if not daily basis everything you are doing wrong in their eyes...and when they let you know this in an unChristlike manner. Said from personal experience watching a former pastor get attacked.

That's why David chose differently. "Let us fall into the hands of the LORD, for his mercy is great; but do not let me fall into the hands of men."

[Billy Cox]

Sunday morning came and I noted more empty seats than usual. Some were out of town, some were actually in the church building but for one reason or another didn't make it into the sanctuary, others were, well, I don't know where they were.

There's almost no way a preacher can express disappointment about stuff like this without coming off sounding vain or petty. If the preacher does say anything, it is almost sure to be taken the wrong way.

So, what does the preacher do? All I know to do is grin and bear it, even as I grin and bear people telling me I only work an hour a week or that the special speaker the church had a few weeks ago "really knows how to preach" (yeah, I get my place in the comparison).

When you pour your heart into a sermon, giving it all you have, and when you know in all the right ways that some of your folks will truly be helped by it, and when those same folks decide to skip church for some reason...well, that's when it takes a thick skin to be a preacher.



Let me affirm your 'grin and bear it' response to the empty seats.

The two pastors with whom I am most familiar (one being a self-described optimist) have palpable difficulty with empty seats. One of them has even re-preached a sermon the following week when he was especially disappointed with the attendance. The other has a canned joke about summer church being for those who are too broke to go out of town.

I don't travel much and I have platform responsibilities so I rarely miss a service. Every time my pastor vamps for 3-5 minutes about all the people who are out of town (or sick, or just plain lazy) I just want to wave my hands and say, "we are here, how about rejoicing in the seats that aren't empty." I have never understood why the people who show up on low attendance Sundays get punished. What are we? chopped liver? :rolleyes:

The people who do show up on Sunday are there for a reason. They don't just show up by accident. Instead of worrying about the absent people that you thought would benefit from the message, why not make the most of the time to share your blessing with those whom God has given you?

[Paula Karr]

Every time my pastor vamps for 3-5 minutes about all the people who are out of town (or sick, or just plain lazy) I just want to wave my hands and say, "we are here, how about rejoicing in the seats that aren't empty." I have never understood why the people who show up on low attendance Sundays get punished. What are we? chopped liver? :rolleyes:


Amen, Amen, Amen.

This was quite an issue for me back when I was a Nazarene. It seemed like all summer long, those of us who were faithful and attended were "rewarded" with frequent comments about, "We need to wait until everybody gets back from vacations, etc., before we plan that activity." So if "everybody" is gone, did that make me a "nobody"?

Our current church -- in ARIZONA where it's HOT and LOTS of people go to cooler climes on weekends -- maintains a full schedule of activities, believing that all of the people of God who are part of our church need to be ministered to without being made to feel like they are "losers" because they are THERE. Some of our small group activities are cut back, but never any part of the regular services. I feel that my attendance at church is important, and I "matter," whether it's July or December.

Sorry for the rant -- but if there was a "you pushed a hot button" button, I'd have pushed it here!

Paula

[Donna Adams]

Paula I am sure this is not just a Nazarene problem. It's in every church of every kind, no matter the name or the sign out front.

[G R 'Scott' Cundiff]

There's almost no way a preacher can express disappointment about stuff like this without coming off sounding vain or petty. If the preacher does say anything, it is almost sure to be taken the wrong way.

It is no big deal to me, but the replies focusing on people being absent from church in the summer time pretty much affirms what I said here.

[Gene Tatsch]

Whew - in my very short time on NazNet, my list of folks to pray for has grown a whole lot!
I'm rather simple-minded, straightforward, bull-in-the-chinashop type - and I'd really like to be able to come alongside the leader(s) and have them come alongside us non-leaders ... thus fulfilling Jesus prayer for us.
I don't want to deny reality - I just want the reality to be transformed to His likeness.
Thanks for sharing this painful stuff - fyi, I sit on the "other side" of the pulpit and have my own angst.

[David Pettigrew]

Scott, you are not alone.

Pastors who are not disappointed by empty seats are just super human, in my opinion, or are the only ones who are really sanctified. We still have an attendance board in our church, and it's the first thing I see when I walk down the hall between Sunday school and church.

I have a really, really hard time with people being in the building but not in the sanctuary during worship. Maybe it's pride on my part, but it seems to me that one hour a week we ought to all be able to sit in the same room together. I don't even believe in children's church for this reason, but I've been outvoted on it when I suggested we make a change.

All this to say I feel your frustration.

[Ken Pell]

I am finally getting over the numbers game that we pastors are expected to play. I can now encourage my people to enjoy their summers and minister to those that remain without regret or resentment. In fact, we have started a couple new ministry opportunities this summer.


My reported numbers may lose but everything else wins!

People need to get away from the routine for awhile. Pastors need to quit taking it personal because it isn't. Should the congregation take it personal when I am away? No. [Some even rejoice :laughing ] Then why should I take it personal? [Sometimes I rejoice too. ;) ]

[Mike Schutz]

I have written and edited several things for this thread. I think I'll wait longer before I try to say all I'm thinking.

However, I remember this quote from my favorite college professor, Dr. Cecil Paul. The class was"Pastoral Psychology," it was the class period before a vacation, and only a few students were present. Dr. Paul was a masterful lecturer, and a great facilitator of discussions. At the end of the period, after a great discussion, a student asked him if he would reduce the grade of the students who were absent. Dr. Paul said no, then said, "It's my responsibility to make every class period a valuable experience, and to make it worth your time. I want you to remember this, and every time you step in front of your congregation make it a valuable experience for them. Then, no matter how many are present, you have fulfilled your responsibility."

Finally, with a smile on his face, he concluded the class with, "And don't forget to tell them what a great class they missed."

[Susan Unger]

I have written and edited several things for this thread. I think I'll wait longer before I try to say all I'm thinking.

However, I remember this quote from my favorite college professor, Dr. Cecil Paul. The class was"Pastoral Psychology," it was the class period before a vacation, and only a few students were present. Dr. Paul was a masterful lecturer, and a great facilitator of discussions. At the end of the period, after a great discussion, a student asked him if he would reduce the grade of the students who were absent. Dr. Paul said no, then said, "It's my responsibility to make every class period a valuable experience, and to make it worth your time. I want you to remember this, and every time you step in front of your congregation make it a valuable experience for them. Then, no matter how many are present, you have fulfilled your responsibility."

Finally, with a smile on his face, he concluded the class with, "And don't forget to tell them what a great class they missed."

My father, a college profesor, would use Monday's and Friday's lectures as the bulk of his exam questions...he wanted to make sure that the students knew that all classes were important, not just the days for which the students showed up. ;)

[G R 'Scott' Cundiff]

Let me affirm your 'grin and bear it' response to the empty seats.

I think if you read what I wrote you'll see that the "grin and bear it" isn't about empty seats. It's about people who skip the preaching, thus missing something the preacher knows would have been helpful to them. The "thick skin" is to the disappointment of seeing people miss something that the preacher is quite sure could have been used by the Holy Spirit to bless them, yet knowing he or she can't do or say anything about it without it being taken the wrong way.

[Dennis M. Scott]

Due to a variety of contributing factors, I am right now usually preaching to a very small congregation of brand new Christians. They mostly are not from church backgrounds, and it is a challenge to not assume too much Bible knowledge. I also attempt to select songs that help them learn, because I am convinced that people will learn and retain about three times what they hear, read and repeat in a song compared to what they only hear in a sermon. Consequently, a couple weeks ago we sang "At Calvary". As we finished the song, it occurred to me that it might be something that churchified people inaccurately think everyone knows. I asked how many knew what Calvary was. Out of fifteen people present, only two besides Linda and me could identify the term. Another said it was the horse riding military in the old West. I took five or six minutes to orient them. It's a neat challenge to plow new ground.

I think we'll wait awhile before we sing something like, "Days of Elijah". I think I may have a little storytelling to do first.

[Ken Pell]

Due to a variety of contributing factors, I am right now usually preaching to a very small congregation of brand new Christians. They mostly are not from church backgrounds, and it is a challenge to not assume too much Bible knowledge. I also attempt to select songs that help them learn, because I am convinced that people will learn and retain about three times what they hear, read and repeat in a song compared to what they only hear in a sermon. Consequently, a couple weeks ago we sang "At Calvary". As we finished the song, it occurred to me that it might be something that churchified people inaccurately think everyone knows. I asked how many knew what Calvary was. Out of fifteen people present, only two besides Linda and me could identify the term. Another said it was the horse riding military in the old West. I took five or six minutes to orient them. It's a neat challenge to plow new ground.

I think we'll wait awhile before we sing something like, "Days of Elijah". I think I may have a little storytelling to do first.

That sounds like a refreshing and pleasantly challenging ministry assignment. I'm sure it has challenges that aren't pleasant too but there is something exquisite about working with young saints who are honest, hungry, capable of receiving new insight.

[Gina Stevenson]

My father, a college profesor, would use Monday's and Friday's lectures as the bulk of his exam questions...he wanted to make sure that the students knew that all classes were important, not just the days for which the students showed up. ;)

Was going to click the "funny" button, but that wasn't enough ... your dad was also wise ... knowing those "early-departure long weekend" deals, & getting back late from them, as well.