What's the difference in your life? How does it happen to be this way?

[Dave McClung]

Buried in another thread, Dennis Scott asked me these questions:

What's the difference in your life? How does it happen to be this way?

The questions were asked in the context of my array of experiences. I have listed some of them here:

http://www.davemcclung.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=27&Itemid=41

I promised I would respond later. I hesitate to speak frankly, because it may sound like I am bragging, but Dennis's question requires a frank response.

This is my response --

First of all, I would say that my childhood was a good foundation. My grandparents on both sides participated in the Holiness Revivals that took place in the South in the late 1800's. The messages in those days had three components:

Work hard
Get a good education
Live a Holy life

Linda and I are both third generation Nazarenes who were taught these principles.

The motivation for working hard was so that one's family would have a better life. The motivation for getting a good education was so that one could study and understand the Bible. The motivation for living a Holy life was to please God.

Both Linda and I have been Christians from childhood. Because we sought to live holy lives we avoided the problems that result from a sinful life. I have never smoked, been drunk, or taken illegal drugs.

With that foundation, my parents encouraged or tolerated entrepreneurship at an early age. When I was 9 or 10, I made a proposal to my dad. If he would buy me a lawn mower at Sears, I would make the payments. I walked up and down the street offering to mow lawns for $2. I developed a list of customers and earned enough to pay for the mower and spending money. From that day to this, I have never been without spending money.

During high school, I delivered papers, bagged groceries, worked at a sporting goods store and cleaned the church.

During college, I worked as a carpenter, sold shoes and stocked grocery shelves. I paid my own way through college at Bethany Nazarene College and graduated without any debt.

So, I started with a good foundation and learned to work hard.

Second, I made a good choice when I married Linda. Perhaps I will share more about how that happened at a later date. For purposes of this answer, I will just say that Linda and I are better together than either of us would have have been alone. Much of my success has been a direct result of having married well.

Third, Linda and I learned to trust the Lord. Until a certain point, our lives would have been considered "normal." Things were going well, but not like it has been since then. Our church, Richardson Church of the Nazarene, had a building fund drive. After much prayer, Linda and I came to the conclusion that we should give an amount equal to our annual salary. When we made the commitment, we did so believing that it would require a dramatic change in our life-style. When we made that commitment, it was as if the Lord responded, "Now that I know I can trust you, I will give you more." We paid our commitment and had more left than when we started. Since that time, the Lord has blessed our financial decisions in a remarkable way.

Fourth, Linda and I have been willing to go where the Lord wants us. Most of our relocations have seemed to be high risk moves. We have not been able to clearly explain why we have moved, yet in each case we have ended up in a place where the Lord has used us.

Fifth, Linda and I saved enough early in our marriage to break the dependence on a pay check. When many of our contemporaries were driving nice new cars, we were driving old clunkers. (The pickup truck I drive now is 12 years old.) By the time I was 45, we had enough in savings that we no longer depended on a pay check. One time, I went five months without a pay check and we didn't have to change our life style at all. Several times when my company has been going through a rough time, I have cut my salary in half to set a good example. There is freedom in living below one's means.

So, here we are:
We have a family that love us.
All of our children are serving the Lord.
We have a water front home in one of the most beautiful locations in the whole world.
We have good health.
We have a local church that we love.
We have enough resources that we are able to be generous on a global basis.
We have thousands of Nazarene friends who often say kind things about us.
We share a love for the Lord and for each other.

What more could we want? We are truly blessed.

[Cindi Hammons]

Several times when my company has been going through a rough time, I have cut my salary in half to set a good example. There is freedom in living below one's means.

Dave, I wish there were more CEO's in this world who would act this way. I truly believe that if large CEO's would set a better example and be less greedy, this world would be in a much different financial state. Thanks for being a good example.

[Judy Hamilton]

What is the difference in my life?? compared to my friends of my youth Linda and Dave and Glenn and Edra Messer...I did not marry well...I would place the blame entirely on a faulty marriage, however it goes much deeper than this.
As nurse and a patriot, in a time when our country was sending 300,000 men every year to Vietnam..I chose to join them, to be their support, listen to their horror stories in the long hot nights, redress bleeding wounds, give them Morphine to take the edge off their pain and when requested, became closer to their hearts by writing letters to their mothers.

I married four years after separating from the military. Looking back, my heart was not even near healed of the wounds I sustained the two years I served as a first responder..as an Army Nurse to combat casualties.

I was angry with my country and just as angry with God. I loved both with a passion and felt equally betrayed by both. This is obviously not a good place to be when one is making the decision to wed.God and I reconciled enough that I got as close as the Methodist Church..nothing compelling or requiring major soul searching. It was June 1973 I married an OB GYN doctor (he was still a Resident at OU Medical Center) Unknown to both of us, Roe vs Wade was a defining factor that over the next 12 years would eventually destroy our marriage.

With the birth of Shannon...I sincerely found my path back to the arms of a forgiving,loving God. John, my husband did not follow me on this journey. In 1978 Kris was born. Abortion demonstrations were on the rise in Oklahoma City..and when Shannon was eight, and Kris was five years old, we divorced and I became a single mom.

Unlike Dave, I have not handled finances well, and in an effort to do single parenting the best possible I can not live without my salary.

I raised my son and daughter on my knees,literally. In a time when drugs were easy to obtain and alcohol flowed freely, to enhance my apprehension, they both pledged in college; Kris in a Fraternity and Shannon in a sorority at Oklahoma University.(scary..I had to cut the apron strings and let them find their own way) They both graduated college and matured into persons of intelligence, and integrity and this day have a strong walk with the Lord. God has been good to this single mom, and I count this as a blessing with a never-ending bounty. Shannon married Tom, a love of a man.who is a beautiful example of God's love to both she and their three little girls. They budget closely so she can stay home with her children.
Kris will someday be a fine husband and father, he is currently at OU in a Masters program and remains a God Chaser. Years ago, as a young teen ager, he set the bar high and is this day still an example for his mom.

I am blessed beyond measure.

I learned a song as a child in Girl Scouts "Make new friends, but keep the old, One is sliver and the other Gold" I have Gold friends of 30 years doing life in my community in Edmond, Oklahoma (they are waiting for me to someday settle down) and I have Gold friends of over forty years in the SNU/BNC Class of 65'

Travel Nursing offers an opportunity to scratch a few of my itches, satiate the curious side of my nature and make great new friends in the journey. Thanks to naznet, I have been a guest in the homes of several ladies, met others in out-of of-the-way places across our vast country, from Tillamock Oregon, to California, Tuscon AZ...to Memphis and Nashville Tennessee and Birmingham, Alabama
I could almost pen a country western song of my travels to meet greet new friends (naznetters) along the way.

Like Dave I also have a varied "been-there-done-that-list" which I lost track of when I was lost on Canyon Buttes or nearly died in a ride on a motor scooter in the mountains of Northern Thailand a couple of years ago.

Although I am not independently wealthy, I do enjoy life and my soul is rich.

Judy

[David Parker]

Thanks for that Dave. Very inspiring.

Reading it, I saw many similarities to my parents' story. We serve a good God who seeks opportunities to bless us. You have given Him those opportunities by many of your choices.

[Susan Unger]

Although I am not independently wealthy, I do enjoy life and my soul is rich. Judy Rich souls are good souls.

Thanks for sharing your story, very interesting.

[Hans Deventer]

Reading Dave's and Judy's posts, I realise some things in my life are also the result of choices I made in the past, though some other things are definately not.

I guess it all started with my father who wasn't allowed to get an education beyond primary school. Everything he did managed to get had to be done in the evenings. And he did. He was quite a self made man.
So when I got to finish what we call middle school at a level that would allow me to go to university, he wasn't too keen on spending money on some univ education while I wasn't all that clear on the direction I would be taking.
This meant that at 19, I ended up working at a chartered accountants office (one that was later to merge into Ernst & Young) and studying alongside. However, military service came, marriage came, an old house that needed a lot of work came, work in the church came, and I saw colleagues who did finish the evening studies for chartered accountant (which on average, took 12 years) more often than not get divorced afterwards, because it meant that from that point on, you'd be spending more and more time on the job, in stead of getting more time for the family.
So when the opportunity came, I changed my job and became a bookkeeper at a publishing and printing company. That lasted for 2 years (long story) and then I found a job at the housing corporation where I still am, though I started off with accounting and right now, I'm in ICT.

Though I did some courses to enhance my skills, both church and family were too important to go for the 50-60 hours a week jobs.

Hannie quit her job when Edwin was born. We weren't rich from a Dutch point of view, but we managed. I'm still grateful she was a stay at home mom, no regrets.

The biggest change came when in 1999, my colleague that I had been sharing a room with for 15 years, dropped dead on the first day of his vacation. That really brought home what was and wasn't important in life. I would not burn everything on the altar of the future.

By that time, Hannie had gotten a part time job and we decided I would cut my hours so as to have a 4 days week, leaving Wednesdays off to spend together. That is a decision I have never regretted. So when Hannie got ill in Dec 2005 and got the aneurysm in Feb 2006, I was very grateful for being able to quickly cut down on what I did in church and not being too burdened by my job to be able to be there for her.

Also, whereas initially, the idea was that I could retire at 60, right now it is 63 and I'll honestly be surprised if even 65 will be possible. But, working 4 days a week, I'll take my retirement one day a week right now.

Of course, this hasn't made us rich. I think the Netherlands are a different kind of society anyway. But we're not poor either (again, all by Dutch standards) and I'm still grateful for the choices I have made. I've been able to spend time with the family, with Hannie, and I've invested a lot in the church.

When my father passed away, the church board of which he was a part at the time, called him "a joyful witness of Christ". Though he had managed to start from scratch as a delivery boy at age 14 and ended his career as the managing director of a nursing home for mentally handicapped elderly people, that wasn't mentioned at all during or around the funeral. I would like to follow in his steps in that regard. I hope that at my funeral, I'll be remembered as one who was there for the people who needed me, and as one who tried to serve Christ.

I'm not at all saying my choices should everyone's choices. I do think they were the right ones for us. I feel blessed.

[Dennis M. Scott]

Dave,

Thank you, for your candid response to my sincere question that is playing out as more difficult than I intended. In fact, it is likely more personal than any of us have right to inquire. As you noted, my question was sincere. You have been blessed - graced - as have others who have responded or could have. Each of us has been graced differently, sometimes to make good choices, and often in spite of less than stellar choices. Each has also been vessels of God's grace to others. From first to last, it is grace.

Thanks be to God.

[Sheya Stephens]

Each story is very encouraging to me. I was a stay at home mom for 8 years. With 3 young children (1 being chronically ill and 8 surgeries later), we were no longer able to keep me at home. We are not rich, and some days I feel quite poor, but I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it will not matter the economic structure I was a part of as long as I am generous with what I have. Thank you for sharing each of your stories.

[Susan Unger]

Each story is very encouraging to me. I was a stay at home mom for 8 years. With 3 young children (1 being chronically ill and 8 surgeries later), we were no longer able to keep me at home. We are not rich, and some days I feel quite poor, but I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it will not matter the economic structure I was a part of as long as I am generous with what I have. Thank you for sharing each of your stories.

I hear ya...