Baby?

[Barb Bouldrey]

Why do some men like to call their girlfriend, wife or even any girl "Baby?"

Why do girls like to be called "Baby?"

I heard that in songs in the 50's and 60's and still hear men call women "Baby."

I just never understood it.

Barb

[Belinda Y. Edwards]

*smiles*

i love "baby" or "kiddo" or "girl*....

i don't know that i can explain it - i just do.

[Wilson L. Deaton]

Think about it: Infants are cute, innocent, and thrive on tenderloving care.

I suppose that's why some men (not me, of course) call some women that.

I also suppose that's why some women like it.

By the way, my dictionary lists as a definition of baby, "a girl or woman, especially an attractive one."

Wilson

[Dana Grant]

Why do some men like to call their girlfriend, wife or even any girl "Baby?"

Why do girls like to be called "Baby?"

I heard that in songs in the 50's and 60's and still hear men call women "Baby."

I just never understood it.

Barb



I never really understood it, either, but........I got you, Babe.

[Dana Grant]

And If I don't get back to work right this second, I'll be coming here singing........

I got fired, babe.


LOL

[Marsha Gupton]

and why do men after years of marriage call their wives, "mama"??

[Joel Merrill]

And why do some men call their wife "Baby" when they are dating them and then call them their "Old Lady" when they get married. If I ever called my wife "My Old Lady", I would never see her again. In fact I might not ever see again.

Joel :fun03

[Wilson L. Deaton]

and why do men after years of marriage call their wives, "mama"??

This one comes from saying it to their children when talking about their wife. As in, "Johnny, go tell mama that dinners ready." (You hear men say that a lot.)

Wilson

[Belinda Y. Edwards]

And why do some men call their wife "Baby" when they are dating them and then call them their "Old Lady" when they get married. If I ever called my wife "My Old Lady", I would never see her again. In fact I might not ever see again.

Joel :fun03


OHHHHHHH>.....yes indeed - that would be fighting words.........lol

[Wilson L. Deaton]

And why is that women complain about such things then we go to restaurants and have waitresses call us "honey," or "sweetie?"

:fav12

Wilson

[Stan Hall]

I've heard many men refer to their wives and even their girlfriends as "old lady." Not only would me wive be very insulted, but it would never occor to me to refer to her thus. I've just never thought of her in such a way.
Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever heard anyone who's been married for over 30 years as I have refer to their wives as such.
Stan

[Gina Stevenson]

UH-OH ... you know what song you've got goin' through my mind now, don'tcha? ;) Sonny & Cher ... "I Got You, Babe" ... sorta like it, actually. ;)

I never really understood it, either, but........I got you, Babe.

Came back to edit and put a MIDI of this song. WHAT has happened to all those neat songs we used to be able to post? Getting harder & harder to find them anymore. :(

[Barb Bouldrey]

Isn't this fun? I am enjoying this very theological discussion. LOL

[Hans Deventer]

Well, I never do :basic03 But at least, I'd say it sure beats "chick" :basic05

[Ron Davis]

I never really understood it, either, but........I got you, Babe.
That happens to be the ring tone I use for calls from my wife.

But I don't call her that.

[Gina Stevenson]

Love it! That's cute ... wanted to pick my own ring tone, too, after I heard about those things, but found out that my model won't allow it ... but those that do, I think, are only with plans that cost more, anyway.

Figured if I had to pay for it every month, I might as well see if I could have some fun with it, and pick my own ring tones, too. SO, I just picked from the ones they have installed on it already. But that's the "perfect" pick for calls from one's spouse. ;)

That happens to be the ring tone I use for calls from my wife.

But I don't call her that.

[Ann Smith]

To me Babe or Baby is a term of endearment. I often call my husband, children, and grandchildren one or the other. I think most people who use the terms do so for that reason.
Ann

[Gina Stevenson]

To me Babe or Baby is a term of endearment. I often call my husband, children, and grandchildren one or the other. I think most people who use the terms do so for that reason.
Ann

Right, just like the song says. Actually, I've never used "baby," but "babe," yeah. ;)

[LoraineStanton]

I don't know either Barb. I guess I always thought the guy was trying some sort of power play. I really dislike hearing a woman called "baby" or "girl".

[Belinda Y. Edwards]

I don't know either Barb. I guess I always thought the guy was trying some sort of power play. I really dislike hearing a woman called "baby" or "girl".


Interesting that you said - "a woman" and not me (as in yourself).

Why does it bother you regarding something that is between two other people?

i am not directing this to you, personally, but that seemed to be the beginning subject of this thread.

Even if it is a powerplay between two other people, if the people involved are enjoying and approving of the play - what business is it of ours?

[LoraineStanton]

Why does it bother you regarding something that is between two other people?

It bothers me when I see someone treated in a manner that I believe is disrespectful. When I hear a man call a woman "a girl" or "baby" I feel that it is disrespectful to ALL women. If I'm hearing it, it is taking place in public and invading my space. I think my feelings are similar to why I dislike hearing people take God's name in public.

i am not directing this to you, personally, but that seemed to be the beginning subject of this thread.

I think the beginning of this thread was an "I don't understand - can anyone explain it?" question Of course we wandered all around the question as we often do on NazNet:D

Even if it is a powerplay between two other people, if the people involved are enjoying and approving of the play - what business is it of ours?

I don't understand how anyone could enjoy or approve of another person trying to dominate like that, but if that were the case, it just seems like good manners to me to keep it private, 'cause I tend to think that anything that comes into "my space" is my business.

I don't feel like I'm communicating as I want to, but this is the best I got right now.

[Belinda Y. Edwards]

I don't understand how anyone could enjoy or approve of another person trying to dominate like that, but if that were the case, it just seems like good manners to me to keep it private, 'cause I tend to think that anything that comes into "my space" is my business.

I don't feel like I'm communicating as I want to, but this is the best I got right now.


That is a way to look at the subject.

i do not share the same opinion. i know a lot of things and a lot of things come into my space - and it is none of my business. i am to toss it and leave it.

i have never felt *dominated* when called girl, kiddo or babe. i have felt adored, loved, cherished, important, fondness - ect.

Tones mean more to me than a particular word. my name for example -i've heard it spoken in endearing tones and i've heard it spoken in disgust and hate. In fact, i have heard it spoken at the same time that i've been told that i am hated.

Pet names - - -isn't that a form of affection?

[Wilson L. Deaton]

It bothers me when I see someone treated in a manner that I believe is disrespectful.

I think the key is when you said, "that I believe." The more important issue is what the caller and "callee" believe.

At one of my churches the teens and older kids took to calling me, "Pastor Dude." It was because we connected and they liked me. We were at camp and one of my teens called me that and another counselor immediately got after him good for being so disrepectful. When the kid left I explained that I not only approved but liked it when my teens addressed me that way. He believed it was disrespectful, but he was wrong.

If a wife or girlfriend doesn't feel disrespected, and if the boyfriend or husband isn't trying to be disrespectful then you should try to not be bothered by it. (Of course, that is easier said than done. I mean, if you are bothered, you are bothered.)

(For the record, I most often call my wife, "wifey!" Her primary term for me is "Hub," short for hubby, corrupted from husband. Sometimes, do to an old inside joke, we call each other, "Peachum Cakes!")

Wilson

[Marsha Gupton]

:fav16 I have always thought that when a man or woman refer to their boyfriend/girfriend or spouse as baby that it was a term of endearment. I never thought of it as dominating or as not being respectful.

I think this shows how what one person takes as disrespectful and another doesn't. Also, I know that terms can have different meanings in different parts of the country. I can't think of an example right now, but I do think there is an instance of that.

The one thing that I think is very disrespectful is when a man or woman refer to their spouse as the old man or old lady. I detest that.

My friend calls her husband "babe" and I do not think she means it as disrespectful at all. I think this is just a personal choice.

:)

[LoraineStanton]

Now the interesting thing is "babe" doesn't bother me. But when Bill Gaither tells Jeff Easter that Jeff travels with two pretty "girls" (as he does on more than one of his videos) it just icks me out.

[Gina Stevenson]

Even if it is a powerplay between two other people ....

I don't understand how anyone could enjoy or approve of another person trying to dominate like that ....

I don't feel like I'm communicating as I want to, but this is the best I got right now

Loraine, you're communicating OK ... enough so that we understand what you are saying. However, I just tend to think that we bring our "history" into such perceptions ... there may possibly have been somewhere in your past where some disrespectful person called another "babe" or "baby."

For instance, the first time any name other than Danny came to my mind when speaking to my husband, it was "Babe." He didn't mind ... I didn't mind (then that one song already mentioned in this thread became "our song." ;) He sorta liked to use "Honey," or sometimes "Honey-bunny." Neither of us were being disrespectful, so I could take hearing it.

On the other hand, tho' I could take hearing it from him, because of our way or relating to one another, it's a word that I couldn't make come out of my mouth for some reason. Wondering about that one day, it dawned on me that perhaps it was because I used to hear someone who was being very disrespectful by going out with others often calling his wife "honey," in spite of that going out.

So, I guess it was a deceptive-enough usage elsewhere often enough, within my hearing, that caused me to just not be able to make myself say such a thing. Crazy to some, maybe, since a word like, "honey" sounds like you're calling someone "sweet like honey."

So, with a lot of language, it's so often our history that dictates how certian words make us "feel," rather than the words themselves.

[Cindi Hammons]

and why do men after years of marriage call their wives, "mama"??

Yeah, that one drives me nuts! Mark's dad used to call his wife that...and it wasn't in an endearing manner. Now that he has died, Mark and I joke around about it with each other...BUT, he would never seriously call me that because of the way I detested his dad's manner in calling his mom that name. It was always very condescending.

I worked as a Nursing Home social worker for 10+ years and we were always fighting against our nurses and nurse aides calling the residents "honey, sweetie, dearie, etc." I think it is a regional/Southern thing. Anyways, in Ohio, the State surveyors think that using words like that is demeaning and disrespectful. The surveyors will site your home immediately if a staff member is caught doing it.

Waitresses drive me nuts doing that as well. Of course, I'm sure it is due to my nursing home experiences! :)

Mark and I do not have pet names for each other. We call each other "Mark" and "Cindi." I can't really think of any pet names my parents used either. My mom's parents always called each other "Mother" and "Daddy." I always thought it was kind of odd. The only time he is called "Dad" is by the kids, or when I am talking to the kids, such as, "Go tell dad that he has a phone call."

I chuckle when I hear others use pet names, but it doesn't bother me. I just don't use them myself.

Cindi H.

Edited to say, we do have pet names for our kids though. Is that a double-standard? Ha!

[Belinda Y. Edwards]

Yeah, that one drives me nuts! Mark's dad used to call his wife that...and it wasn't in an endearing manner. Now that he has died, Mark and I joke around about it with each other...BUT, he would never seriously call me that because of the way I detested his dad's manner in calling his mom that name. It was always very condescending.

I worked as a Nursing Home social worker for 10+ years and we were always fighting against our nurses and nurse aides calling the residents "honey, sweetie, dearie, etc." I think it is a regional/Southern thing. Anyways, in Ohio, the State surveyors think that using words like that is demeaning and disrespectful. The surveyors will site your home immediately if a staff member is caught doing it.

Waitresses drive me nuts doing that as well. Of course, I'm sure it is due to my nursing home experiences! :)

Mark and I do not have pet names for each other. We call each other "Mark" and "Cindi." I can't really think of any pet names my parents used either. My mom's parents always called each other "Mother" and "Daddy." I always thought it was kind of odd. The only time he is called "Dad" is by the kids, or when I am talking to the kids, such as, "Go tell dad that he has a phone call."

I chuckle when I hear others use pet names, but it doesn't bother me. I just don't use them myself.

Cindi H.

Edited to say, we do have pet names for our kids though. Is that a double-standard? Ha!

Well, i suppose this means that Ohio is where i do not need to be. A southern thing? i don't think so. In the NICU - i hear pet names all the time. i would rather fondly call a wee one: peanut, pumpkin, sweety, honey, dear, sweetheart ---------- than Mister/Missy..... But, that is *me*. When i am having my adult care rotations, i usually wear my neonatal stethoscrope because it is at the level of a cardiac. i introduce myself as a student who is accustomed to caring for babies and apologize in advance if i use endearing terms. Always -without fail - the patients immediately relax, smile and they love the pampering for the day. (We pamper in NICU.)

i am struggling with the judgement that it sounds that others are having toward an issue that isn't your personal relationship. i don't know of any relationship of which i *approve* of everything. But, WHO in 'heaven's name' am *i* to be approving. Who died and left me in charge? Is judgement another level of control?????????

[Jen Blackburn]

i don't mind being called "babe" -- or walking up to my husband, for instance when he arrives at church, and putting my arm around him and saying "hi babe" to him... it's completely an endearing term...

i don't mind if a male friend or my dad or brother say "hey kiddo" when they see me... it again is a term of enderament..

loraine, i understand what you're saying about when someone says something about "travelling with pretty *girls*"... but i don't think it's meant in a derogatorry way. is it wrong if i call the women on the internet board i associate with "girls"??? they're the girls that i hang out with online... i could call them women or ladies - but i tend to call them girls.

maybe when it's a man talking the way that bill gaither is about women that icks you? ... the way you explained it kinda icks me too... but i think in general - if it's said *personally* - it's all endearing...

i agree that, when said ABOUT others, and not TO others, that it can sound and/or be derogatorry ..

am i making any sense? LOL

i think that may be the perception that is getting miscommunicated -- hearing it said ABOUT someone, verses hearing it said TO someone.

[Bruce Carriker]

After reading this whole thread - okay, it's a boring afternoon - I've sort of decided two things:

1. What two people prefer to call one anther is, FOR THE MOST PART, between them. What one allows himself/herself to be called is his/her business. Some would be offended by babe, baby, girl, wifey, mama. Some would be offended by Pastor Dude. But given that there is nothing inherently wrong with those names/titles, I think that anyone else should stay out of it. If your individual sensibilities are offended, get over it. It's not your business. It's between the addressor and the addressee.

2. Conclusion #1 does not apply to names that are inherently offensive, regardless of their context. I knew a lady who's "affectionate" term to refer to her husband was "that worthless SOB". Seriously, she called him that all the time, even when she was saying something nice about him. I would also put "old lady" and "my b-tch" in this category, though I have heard both of those used in ostensibly "affectionate" referrals.

Nothing offends me much more than hearing two young African-American men refer to one another with the "N-word". That is inherently offensive in any context.

Rather than being hyper-sensitive, which seems to have become a national obsession, we need to let things between two people remain between them unless Rule #2 applies. If Rule #2 applies, we need to have the courage to say, "I'm sorry, and I realize you may not mean anything by it. But your use of the word ______ to refer to your husband/wife/child/friends/pastor/other is very offensive, and I wish you wouldn't do it in my presence."

[Belinda Y. Edwards]

Nothing offends me much more than hearing two young African-American men refer to one another with the "N-word". That is inherently offensive in any context.

Rather than being hyper-sensitive, which seems to have become a national obsession, we need to let things between two people remain between them unless Rule #2 applies. If Rule #2 applies, we need to have the courage to say, "I'm sorry, and I realize you may not mean anything by it. But your use of the word ______ to refer to your husband/wife/child/friends/pastor/other is very offensive, and I wish you wouldn't do it in my presence."

You had me until we got to this point.

i have African-Americans in my home. Half of my co-workers are Africa-American. In their culture - to call each other the N-word IS endearing. True enough, you and i can't get by with it - but between them - it IS endearing.

Your *rule 2*: Yesterday i was in the room recording in a bedside chart when the mother behind me exclaimed, "You A**. You are a filthy A** ...look at the mess you just made." The infant had just missed the diaper and stool was all over the bed. The mom - 16. i almost went through the floor. i had to do a lot of praying before i could turn around and give the mom the respect that i needed to give unto her as this baby's mom. (edited to add: thankfully, i can do a lot of praying fast)

Now, just rereading what i heard resends emotions through me once again.

But, i _have_ to honestly say that in *her* cultural world - she said it endearingly - though frustratedly.

i watched her care for the baby -

And believe me - after that i watched like a hawk.

edited to add a response to this quote, "But your use of the word ______ to refer to your husband/wife/child/friends/pastor/other is very offensive, and I wish you wouldn't do it in my presence." - when i am conversing with my husband - what i call him just naturally comes out and i am not aware of my audience. The conversations are between *us*. (i couldn't ever do undercover mask stuff.) i could never promise not to call my husband by what i call him - except to my husband. IF he asked me to not call him something, i could follow those instructions - but i am not cut out to please the world. :(