How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

[Andrea Larabee]

CHANGING A LIGHT BULB THE CHRISTIAN WAY


How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?




Charismatic : Only 1
Hands are already in the air.



Pentecostal: 10
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.


Presbyterians :None
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.



Roman Catholic: None
Candles only.


Baptists : At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the
potato salad and fried chicken .



Episcopalians: 3
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.






Mormons : 5
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.



Lutherans: None
Lutherans don't believe in change.




Unitarians:
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.




Methodists : Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.



Nazarene: 6
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.



Amish :
What's a light bulb?

~~~~~~

[Joanne Vergin]

Very Funny. I hears that it takes about 119 Southern Baptists though. THe comittees were bigger I guess.

[Dale Cozby]

I heard Nazarenes didn't replace the bulb, they just take it out and shake a second blessing out of it.

Christian Scientists: None, as darkness doesn't really exist.

Jehovah Witnesses: None, as only the prophets can decree "new light"

[Marsha Lynn]

CHANGING A LIGHT BULB THE CHRISTIAN WAY

CHANGE? What do you mean CHANGE? My grandmother gave that lightbulb to the church and it has been a fount of light for lo these many years. There is no call whatsoever to change that lightbulb, and I'll personally take on anyone who tries. It may look like it's no longer working, but I can find 20 people who will testify to its value in their spiritual journey over the last 50 years.

Change, hmph! It's a sad day when the leaders of the church have nothing better to do than replace our faithful old lightbulbs.

[Joanne Vergin]

ROFLOL!

As a former church choir director I have heard this and worse Marsha!

[Jim Franklin]

Seventh Day Adventists, "If it is Saturday, we'll have to wait until tomorrow.

[Carsten Schermuly]

In an east - frisian (german landscape on coast of Northsea)
Alt - Lutherische Kirche, 61,
one man climbs up the table and must hold the bulb and twenty must lift up the table and turn it while watching the bulb to meet the lamp. Every table turner will be lead by a foreman, looking for a free way while using a nebula warning horn and will be followed by another one with a red nebula warning end light.