How do these people survive?

[Ann Smith]

I just got this via e-mail.
How do these people survive?


ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at th e counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

TWO I was checking ou t at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

FOUR< /B> I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five " blank" copies.

SIX A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mo ther says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency!

Life is tough...

it' s even tougher if you're stupid."

[Stan Hall]

Way funny!

Also scary. Remember: these people vote!

Stan

[Gina Stevenson]

Way funny!

Also scary. Remember: these people vote!

Stan

Hopefully NOT !!

[Joel Merrill]

When my oldest daughter was still living at home, she came and asked me if I knew how to unlock a car with a coat hanger. She said she locked her keys in her car. I grabbed a coat hanger and went out to her car. Then I reached in her open window and unlocked her car :basic05

I work in a factory and everyone has to wear safely glasses. Yet it never fails, if someone is trying to describe another worker, they will say they wear glasses.:cool:

Stupid drivers are what scare me. Last summer I was making a right hand turn with my van. I turned my turn signals on at least a half a block before my turn. I checked later and they did work and it was an overcast sky so bright sun wasn't an issue. As I started to turn I heard a high pitched horn and squealing tires. A motorcycle was trying to pass me on the right while I was trying to turn right. Then he gave me "that look" like I was at fault.

A few months ago I was in Oskaloosa, the capital of bad drivers, and couldn't believe my eyes. A pickup truck backed out of an angle parking space next to the corner. His tail gate was over the crosswalk and he had just put it in drive. Then a guy turned right, onto that street into the left lane and right around that pickup and into the spot the pickup just backed out of. Besides nearly getting hit by the pickup, he nearly hit the pickup turning that sharp.

In 1974 I worked in a gas station that was on a corner with stop lights. The county courthouse was right across the street. That year the cars had those big bumpers that stuck out and looked stupid. I was sitting in the station watching the traffic go by at 5:00 PM. A highway patrol car was just coming in at the end of a hard day with his new 1974 Ford LTD with big bumpers. Just as he was going through the intersection, an old man in a comet ran the red light. The patrol car locked up his brakes. The old man caught his back bumper on the front bumper of the patrol car and practically pulled the bumper clean off his comet. Then he kept going and the patrol car had to stop him. Then the old man pulled over in a no parking area and the patrolman had to tell him to move. I have a feeling his driving days were over.

A few years ago I was sitting at a stop sign and a car went by with the front right wheel just about to come off. It was just held on by one lug bolt and that was loose. The wheel was flopping wildly and the whole front of the car was bouncing up and down. I turned and followed the car trying to decide if there was anything I could do. I followed her to the edge of town (about 3 blocks) expecting that wheel to fly off at any moment. She went past 2 tire shops that could have helped her. Then the stupid lady drove right on out of town like that. I let her go. I could just hear her ask her husband, "What was I suposed to do, pull over and stop!?" Duh!!!

I was in the Walmart parking lot one time and an old lady drove in with steam coming out from under her hood. I have bad hearing and I could hear her waterpump rattling a hundred feet away. I walked up to her car and tried to tell her that she had a bad waterpump and needed to get it fixed right away. She said, "Oh, I know, but I just drive in town so it's okay." I never saw that car again. :rolleyes:

I could tell a bunch more but I have to quit.



Joel :fav17

[Dennis M. Scott]

When Mel Gibson's film, The Passion of Christ, had just been released, I was in a group of people talking about it. Someone asked if I had seen the movie, and I said, "No, but I've read the book."

One of the kids there said, "There's a book?"

The kid was a college junior, and had been raised in the COTN - and was on the his local church's quiz team.

[BobHunt]

I worked in a local grocery store, as a carry out.

A lady came back into the store, and said she could not find her keys, would I please help her look? Maybe I dropped them on the ground, or in the store.

We looked and looked for a half hour, and I finally said, "well Mame, where is your car parked?"

She said "Way out towards the end of the parking lot."

So we both strolled out there, and as we got near the car, I could hear that it was running!

[Stan Hall]

Some years ago while driving, I stopped at a red light. A few seconds later, a young man in a car with a big engine and loud pipes stopped beside me but he overshot the intersection a little. So he put it in reverse and backed up a couple feet. Then he sat there impatiently revving his engine. When the light turned green he revved it up and popped the clutch. But the car was still in reverse and he smacked into the elderly gentleman behind him. I waited around to make sure the police knew who hit whom.

[John Kennedy]

REALLY MAKES YOU BELIEVE IN POPULATION DENSITY, cause some of' 'em sure are.

[Joel Merrill]

When it is time to go home from work, people leave the place like it is going to blow up. If you are standing in the door when the bell rings, you are dead meat. :eek: Since I work nights, there is usually a good layer of frost on our car windows when we get off in the winter time. Since I ride my bike, I can be home in less time than it takes to scrape my windows. But I often wait a few minutes anyway. There are always a few knuckleheads who don't scrape their windows. A few years ago a guy who didn't scrape his windows drove right into the side of a semi truck and got stuck under the trailer. :basic05

Joel :bannana

[Gina Stevenson]

REALLY MAKES YOU BELIEVE IN POPULATION DENSITY, cause some of' 'em sure are.

'Must mean that people who live in small towns are smarter than those who live in big cities, eh? Makes sense ... Marsha Lynn lives out in the boonies. :basic05

[Lori Jeffrey]

[One of the kids there said, "There's a book?"

The kid was a college junior, and had been raised in the COTN - and was on the his local church's quiz team.[/QUOTE]

OKay Dennis I really want to know who that was. Especially if they were from the New England district.

Lori

[Dennis M. Scott]

OKay Dennis I really want to know who that was. Especially if they were from the New England district.

Lori

Well, it was a family member from a southern direction state on this educational region.

[Jeff Scott]

So I'm not sure how to categorize this. Perhaps "Things that drive me crazy."

I work in the center of Boston. There is often a lot of traffic. Every day, dozens of impatient drivers sit in traffic and blast on their horn at the cars in front of them to get them to move. I wouldn't mind this, except THERE IS NOWHERE FOR THOSE CARS TO GO!!!!! Why do they honk, when there is CLEARLY NOWHERE FOR THE OTHER CARS TO GO?!?!?!

[Lori Jeffrey]

Well, it was a family member from a southern direction state on this educational region.


Okay yeah now I know who it is. Makes perfect sense. :fav16

[Marsha Lynn]

Okay yeah now I know who it is. Makes perfect sense. :fav16

This isn't gossip, is it????????? Does this young person know they're being discussed, nameless though they be to most of us, in a NazNet thread about stupidity? :p

I tried the "I read the book" line when "The Passion" was a hot topic but after making several nice people feel stupid because they didn't catch on, I decided to save it for only those who were being obnoxious enough in their insistence that I watch the movie to merit such treatment.

:basic03

Marsha

[Gina Stevenson]

I decided to save it for only those who were being obnoxious enough in their insistence that I watch the movie to merit such treatment.

Ha! Marsha, I like your "discretionary" divulgance of such important information! ;)

[Joel Merrill]

So I'm not sure how to categorize this. Perhaps "Things that drive me crazy."

I work in the center of Boston. There is often a lot of traffic. Every day, dozens of impatient drivers sit in traffic and blast on their horn at the cars in front of them to get them to move. I wouldn't mind this, except THERE IS NOWHERE FOR THOSE CARS TO GO!!!!! Why do they honk, when there is CLEARLY NOWHERE FOR THE OTHER CARS TO GO?!?!?!
I've been on a two lane highway after a big factory has changed shifts. There is bumper to bumper traffic for miles and lots of on coming traffic too. Then there is always a few idiots who think they have to pass every chance they get when there is no hope of getting to the front.

Here's another one I've see a lot. I'll be on a trip. Someone will pass me like they are going to a fire. Often they will pass on a yellow line or going up a hill or where there is barely room. They will disappear from sight in no time. Twenty minutes later I will come into the next town and they will be just ahead of me at the stop light. All they gained was about 25 feet.

Joel :cool: