For Cindi H: Fellow Buckeye

[Barb Bouldrey]

It was reported that the Michigan Football Coach Lloyd Carr
will
only be dressing 20 players for the Ohio State game this
Saturday...the rest of the players will have to dress themselves!



Did you hear that the University of Michigan library burned to
the
ground? All five books in the library were completely destroyed....
the football team is really upset by the fire; they hadn't colored
in
two of the books yet!



What's the only sign of intelligent life in Ann Arbor? Columbus:
187 Miles



What does the average University of Michigan student get on
his
SAT? Drool



How do you get a Michigan Graduate off your front porch? Pay
him
for the pizza



Four college Alumni were climbing a mountain one day: A OSU
grad,
a Michigan grad, a Penn State grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each
proclaimed to be the most loyal fan of their alma mater. As they
climbed higher, they argued as to which of them was the most
loyal of
all. They continued to argue all the way to the top when the Notre
Dame grad hurled himself off the mountainside shouting, "This is
for
the fighting Irish!" Not wanting to be out done, the Penn State
grad
threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the
Nittany
Lions!" Seeing this, the OSU grad walked over and shouted, "This
is
for the Buckeyes!" and pushed the Michigan grad off the
mountain.


What did the Michigan grad say to the OSU grad? "Welcome to
McDonalds. May I take your order please?"


A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day
of
work.
The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and smile,
gave him
a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep the store."
"But, I'm a Michigan graduate," the young man replied
indignantly, "I even played football there!"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here,
give
me the broom, I better show you how."


Two Michigan football players were hootin' and hollerin' while
partying on campus when a bartender asked them why they were
celebrating. The smart one said proudly that they had just
finished a
jigsaw puzzle and it only took them two months. "Two months?!"
exclaimed the bartender. The Wolverine proudly replied, "Yeah,
the
box said 4 - 6 years!"


A Wolverine football player was almost killed today in a tragic
horseback riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly
trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out
an
unplugged the horse just in time.


A little boy and his mother were walking through a Michigan
cemetery when they came upon a headstone that read: "Here lies
a
Michigan graduate and a good man."
The little boy asked his mother, "Mommy, why did they bury
two
people in there?"


Coaches Jim Tressel and Lloyd Carr are walking down the beach
talking about the new rivalry starting with Jim taking over as the
OSU
head coach. As they are walking, Lloyd trips over something in the
sand. Upon closer inspection it turns out to be a genie's lamp.
"Who disturbs me?" asked the genie.

Jim and Lloyd both say they did it.
"You will each get one wish," said the genie.
Lloyd offers to go first. "I want an impenetrable wall built
around the entire state of Michigan so that none of those stupid
Ohioans can ever get in. I want it as far down into the ground as
it
is high, and I want it to be completely sealed in so that we can
finally have our peace!"
The genie grants the wish to Lloyd and his is instantly whisked
away to his new paradise.
The genie now tells Jim he'll grant him one wish.
Jim says, "Fill it up with water."



Why is ice no longer available at Michigan football games?
Because the senior who knew the recipe finally graduated.



What are the three longest years of a Michigan football
player's
life?
His freshman year.

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna
hear
a Michigan joke?"

The guy replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should
know
something I am 6' tall, 200 lbs. and I am a Michigan Graduate. The
guy
sitting next to me is 6'2", 225 lbs. and he is a Michigan Graduate.
The guy right next to him is 6'5", 250 lbs. and he is also a
Michigan
Graduate. Now, you still wanna tell me that joke?"
The first guy says, "No, not if I'm going to have to explain it
three times .



Barb, born a Buckeye

[Gary Swartzlander]

Oh Barb, be very carefull.

"NEWS FLASH: Hang on to any of the new State of Ohio quarters. If you have them, they may be a collector’s item due it’s unique design. The U.S. Treasury Announced today that it is recalling all the Ohio quarters produced at OSU. Treasury Undersecretary Jack Shackleford said Monday..."This action is being taken after numerous reports that new Ohio quarters will not work in parking meters, toll booths, vending machines, pay phones or other coin-operated devices." Shackleford continued on .. "The problem lies in the design of the Ohio quarter, created by a top-notched University of Ohio graduate student. Apparently, the duct tape holding the two dimes and the nickel together keeps jamming the coin-operated devices." AND FOR OTHER BREAKING NEWS FROM COLUMBUS ... An Ohio State football player was nearly killed in a horrible horseback riding accident. He was thrown off the horse and almost got trampled. Thank God the K-Mart manager came out and unplugged it. AND FINALLY TONIGHT, NEWS FROM OHIO STADIUM ... Football practice in Columbus was delayed on Friday for nearly two hours. One of the offensive players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown, white powdery substance on the practice field. The head coach, Tressel, immediately suspended practice while the Ohio SBI was called in to investigate. After a long and labored analysis , the Ohio SBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was only lime used to mark the goal line. Practice was resumed when the SBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again. GOOD NIGHT FROM THE BUCKEYE BROADCASTING NETWORK...."


The Seven Dwarfs are in a cave when the roof collapses. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells into the darkness, "Somebody, say something!"

A distant voice responds, "OSU will win the BCS Championship!"

Snow White sighs, "Oh, thank goodness! At least, Dopey is still alive!"

Let the war of words begin.


Born a Buckeye, but converted before it was to late.

[Gary Swartzlander]

Well, I might as well really rub it in. I'm all ready in up to my knees anyways.

* A highly recruited high school football player...
was visiting schools to try and find the best college to attend. His first stop was at Florida State.

When he got there, Bobby Bowden immediately picked up a golden telephone. After talking several minutes, he said, "Thank you, God" and hung up. This shocked the young man. He asked the coach what was so special about the golden phone.

"Well, this phone is a direct line to God. And God tells us whether or not new recruits would be stars at our university. And we think you could be one of our stars!" The athlete asked if he could use the phone to ask God what college he should pick. "Sure, you can! But it's going to cost you $1,250. Calling Heaven isn't cheap." The fellow didn't have that kind of money, so he moved along. Who would want to live in Florida anyway?

His next stop was Ohio State. Upon entering John Cooper's office, Coach Cooper immediately picked up a golden telephone. After talking several minutes, he said, "Thank you, God. We'll let him know." and hung up. The boy said, "Hey, I've seen that phone before. Can I use yours to call God and ask what college I should pick?" Cooper said, "Sure, but it's going to cost you $150. Calling Heaven isn't cheap." Again, not having that kind of money, the lad left. He didn't want to live in Ohio either.

His last stop was in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Upon arrival at the office, Coach Carr picked up a golden telephone, talked to God. After a few minutes he said, "Thanks," and hung up. The boy just had to use that phone, so he said, "Coach, I really need to use that golden telephone so I can call God and ask him which college I should choose. From Florida it was going to cost me $1,250. From Ohio they wanted $150. So how much will it cost me to call Heaven from here at Michigan?"

The coach smiled and said, "Nothing, son. It's a local call."

[Jim Franklin]

Hey Gary, how did Hell get in Michigan if it is supposed to be Heaven? jw--Just wondering.

[Barb Bouldrey]

Oh Gary,
I love it!!!!!! LOL

John says OSU is in big trouble soon when they play Michigan State who is NO. 2 right now.

My cousin Janice lives in Roseville, Michigan, and we have always been major rivals when it comes to Ohio and Michigan, the Tigers and the Indians....etc.

Of course, any fan from any other team in the nation is welcome to take my jokes and yours and change the names of the teams and coaches to fit whomever they wish to aggrevate. Right?

LOL

Barb

[Gary Swartzlander]

Hey Gary, how did Hell get in Michigan if it is supposed to be Heaven? jw--Just wondering.


There are a couple of stories on how this town’s name originated. One theory suggests that one of the original residents, George Reeves, was asked just what he thought the town should be named. George reportedly replied, "I don't care, you can name it Hell if you want to." The second theory suggests that since the area is lower and swampy and in the olden days it was…

…“hell” to cross the rivers in the area.


If you don't care to go to Hell, Michigan you can always go to Paradise, which is in the Upper Peninsula. http://www.paradisemichigan.org/

Ohio also has a couple towns with less than desirable names, like Hicksville and Columbus.

[Gary Swartzlander]

Oh Gary,
I love it!!!!!! LOL

John says OSU is in big trouble soon when they play Michigan State who is NO. 2 right now.

Barb


Just to clear up any confusion, OSU will be playing NO. 2 Michigan on November 18th. Michigan State just fired their head coach and might have a chance to win the State High School championship this year.

[Cindi Hammons]

Those were great, Barb! :)

[Barb Bouldrey]

OH, Gary, I am wounded.....insulting the name of our state capital like that.

LOL...you rascal.

And how can there be such a thing as Paradise in MICHIGAN????

Barb

[LoraineStanton]

Obviously, Barb, Garfield is still lurking some where in your home and got at the computer!

Loraine
who usually drives THROUGH Ohio or
rescues poor Ohioans by bringing them back to Michigan!

[Cindi Hammons]

Ohio also has a couple towns with less than desirable names, like Hicksville and Columbus.

Ouch Gary! I was born in Columbus! :eek: If I ever wanted to move back to the city, it would be Columbus or Cincinnati...certainly not Toledo or Detroit! We get enough Detroit and Toledo drug dealers coming down U.S. 23 and bringing drugs into our county. No thanks!

[Barb Bouldrey]

Loraine,

You drive everywhere!!!! Even to Tiffin to get a Pepsi. LOL

Barb

[Marg Webb]

[QUOTE=Gary Swartzlander;59560]
…“
If you don't care to go to Hell, Michigan you can always go to Paradise, which is in the Upper Peninsula. http://www.paradisemichigan.org/


I am a Wolverine, raised in Hillsdale county!!!
Paradise is the best fishing area you can find.
I COULD SAY MORE BUT GARY YOU SAID IT WELL.:):):)

[Barbara Moulton]

My husband doesn't usually read NazNet.

But he sat down at the computer when the NazNet screen was up and started reading Barb's original post when he saw the title.

It gave him a really good laugh.

Thanks Barb.

[Gary Swartzlander]

It gave him a really good laugh.



Most people react like that when the subject of Ohio comes up. :basic05


Moving very far away from my monitor to avoid flying skillets, etc.

[Cindi Hammons]

.

[Barb Bouldrey]

Oh Cindi

I love it!!!!!

Barb

[Gary Swartzlander]

Here's a link to a site with a running clock leading up until kickoff.

http://library.osu.edu/sites/archives/OSUvsMichigan/osuvsmichigan.htm

Are we having fun yet?


:fav18

[Barb Bouldrey]

So this events benefits the Red Cross, huh?

Were you there at the first game, Gary? LOL

Barb

[Gary Swartzlander]

So this events benefits the Red Cross, huh?

Were you there at the first game, Gary? LOL

Barb

Like most good rivalries some good things have come from this. Blood Drives by alumni clubs, canned food drives, etc.

Regarding the last question, :fun03

[Gary Swartzlander]

It's GO BLUE WEEK ,so all you buckeye fans here are your washing directions.

One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife,
"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," she replied. "What does it say on the shirt?"
He yelled back, " Ohio State Buckeyes "
"Use Hot Water , A box of Tide and Four Cups Bleach."

GO BLUE!!!

[Jim Franklin]

Since Boise State colors are Blue and Orange we often give a "Go Blue" yell, guess as a far away outsider I will go with Michigan on this one. I remember well the rivalry game between these two in 1972 when we traveled from Oklahoma City to Dodge City KS to be with my Uncle George (formerly a pastor at Lansing) and his son, Weldon and family for Thanksgiving weekend and we cheered for Michigan that day. Gary has won a Michigan supporter.

[Barb Bouldrey]

Oh, Gary,

You are revealing a real mean streak in your personality!!!

Oh, that hurts.

LOL

Barb

[Gary Swartzlander]

Gary has won a Michigan supporter.

Welcome Home!!! :fav18

[Cindi Hammons]

Gary,

Sorry, the only Michigan jokes that I know cannot be repeated on this forum! Ha! Actually, I only know one Michigan joke, and it really isn't that bad...just not here on the NazNet.

I'm laying low this week and staying out of the fray. My best friend at church is from Detroit and wears lots of "M" stuff (no problems there), but there is another guy at church from Toledo who is just plain obnoxious about the whole thing. He's a "M" fan and drives everyone crazy! I'm not jumping in. If we win...we win. If we lose...we lose.

Enjoy the week.

[Gary Swartzlander]

Gary,

Sorry, the only Michigan jokes that I know cannot be repeated on this forum! Ha! Actually, I only know one Michigan joke, and it really isn't that bad...just not here on the NazNet.

I'm laying low this week and staying out of the fray. My best friend at church is from Detroit and wears lots of "M" stuff (no problems there), but there is another guy at church from Toledo who is just plain obnoxious about the whole thing. He's a "M" fan and drives everyone crazy! I'm not jumping in. If we win...we win. If we lose...we lose.

Enjoy the week.

Good Policy.

While I hope that Michigan can win and think they can, it is terribly hard to win in the horseshoe (actually it's not anymore, but that's for another day). As I have already said, Troy Smith is by far the best player/quarterback in the country, if he is on his game, Michigan will have to play their very best. As often happens, it may come down to special teams play.

There, have I sufficiently covered my you know what?

[Jeremy D. Scott]

I'm not a big college football fan, but that was a good game. Congrats, Ohio State fans.

[Cindi Hammons]

That was definitely the two top teams in the nation!!! My heart rate is slowly returning to normal and I can now breath!

I'm glad that one is over!

Thanks Michigan for the best game of the year!!!!!

[Gary Swartzlander]

It was a great game, and while I never expected either team to score that many points, the Buckeyes did what they needed to do on their home field. Troy Smith is a great quarterback, with a lot of weapons to use. Michigan showed themselves very well, I'm not sure that outside of the score that there really was a looser in this game.

[Barb Bouldrey]

Actually, I have to confess. I hate football. I did not watch the game. I just listened to John "whoop it up."

LOL

Barb

[Jim Franklin]

Cindi, now that your beloved Buckeyes and my Broncos are the last two remaining I-A unbeaten football teams what do you know about the Broncos? Our leading scorer, Ian Johnson, had to miss Saturday's game because of a collapsed lung suffered at the San Jose game. He leads the nation with 21 touchdowns for the season despite missing the last game. One more to go against Nevada-Reno and that one is very challenging because their wily coach Chris Ault is likely to pull something out of his bag of tricks to defeat the Broncos and our first year head coach Chris Peterson who followed Dan Hawkins who left to coach the University of Colorado. By winning the Broncos are supposed to be assured of a BCS bowl game.

[Cindi Hammons]

The Bronco's? You mean Denver? Just kidding.

I really don't know much about Boise State, in fact I had never heard of them until this year. From what I know, which is very little, I don't think they are considered as a National Champion contender due to their schedule. I'm glad they will have a BCS Bowl chance.

Right now, the talking heads are predicting and OSU v. Michigan or USC or Florida or Notre Dame.