Ladies, I need your help.

[Barbara Moulton]

My husband I do a couples club at our church once a month. Very informal. We meet for a potluck and then discuss various issues. Anyway for this month Carl got an idea when he was in the doctor's waiting room and saw a Redbook magazine. He thought a good lightheared conversation starter could be drawn from it.

It had five simple things for women to help your marraige
1.Be your spouse's cheerleader.
2.Have happy or romantic pictures around your home. They trigger postive feeligns.
3.Make friends with other couples with good marriages.
4.Make and keep dates.
5. Take the initiave sexually.

It also gave five things for women to subtract.
1.The eye roll.
2.The "wait the kids need me" blow off.
3. The style rut.
4. The silent slink out of the room.
5. The "oh no" that's not how it happened public putdown.

All good things but of course the article was written for women. So I wonder if any of you would like to share some ideas of simple thigns that husbands can do and subtract to make the marriage happier so we can have a balanced conversation starter around the table.

[Sara Sheppard]

I can't believe I'm replying to this...since I'm not married. But this is something I find men do in general that is annoying, so I'm pretty sure men do it to their wives but its when they aren't really listening. In other words just saying "uh huh" during conversations but in reality they are paying attention to their phone, the TV, the computer, etc, etc. Happens ALL the time at work and later the men will say "You never told me such and such" when in fact you did they just weren't listening. ARGH

I find that women are either 1) honestly better at doing two things at once or 2) tend to stop what they are doing and actually listen when someone tells them something.

sara

[Barbara Moulton]

I can't believe I'm replying to this...since I'm not married. But this is something I find men do in general that is annoying, so I'm pretty sure men do it to their wives but its when they aren't really listening. In other words just saying "uh huh" during conversations but in reality they are paying attention to their phone, the TV, the computer, etc, etc. Happens ALL the time at work and later the men will say "You never told me such and such" when in fact you did they just weren't listening. ARGH

I find that women are either 1) honestly better at doing two things at once or 2) tend to stop what they are doing and actually listen when someone tells them something.

sara

LOL! You and my husband think alike. He said that watching TV and not really listening would probably be something I would like him to change.

[Dana Grant]

It had five simple things for women to help your marraige
1.Be your spouse's cheerleader.
2.Have happy or romantic pictures around your home. They trigger postive feeligns.
3.Make friends with other couples with good marriages.
4.Make and keep dates.
5. Take the initiave sexually.

It also gave five things for women to subtract.
1.The eye roll.
2.The "wait the kids need me" blow off.
3. The style rut.
4. The silent slink out of the room.
5. The "oh no" that's not how it happened public putdown.



Well, here's my list of things a man CAN do to help keep a marriage strong. I'm not sure about the DON'T DO list -- but here goes......

1. Compliment your wife. Not shallow flattery, but genuine compliments. If you notice something good, make sure you tell her.
2. Dates are important. Plan a date and make all the arrangements.
3. Call her during the day just to say hi. (My husband does this every day and I can't tell you how many women have commented to me -- oh how nice that your husband thinks of you during the day!)
4. "Sex Begins in the Kitchen" -- No truer words were ever spoken. LOL (That's the name of a book by Kevin Leman)
5. Take on the role of spiritual leader in your family.

OK, now the subtraction list.....hmmm........this one is a bit harder, I think.......

1. Don't take on the attitude that doing chores around the house is "helping" your wife. You live there, too.
2. Give up watching every game of every sport on TV.
3. Give up saying NO to more dogs in the family......OOPS -- WAS THAT A PERSONAL ONE???? ha ha ha ha ha -- JUST KIDDING!!!!


I really can't think of any more of these. That second list is a tough one.....I'll keep thinking....


:fav18

[Dana Grant]

Here's another subtraction one:

3. (that other #3 was just for fun) --

Don't look elsewhere when your wife is talking to you. Focus on her when she's talking to you.

(I stole that one from Barbara's comment about Carl and the TV --but it is a good one!!)

[Barb Bouldrey]

1. Surprise her with flowers for no reason at all.
2. Surprise her by doing a repair the first week she mentions it needs repaired.(aiming that one at John)
3. Let her fume about something to you without advising her on how she should calm down and pray about it. Just listen to her. Let her vent and just tell her you are sorry she has to deal with this.
4. Protect your dates with her. Keep those dates.
5. When she notices a new noise in the car, check it out right away. Do not say, "Oh, all old cars develop noises." (aimed that one at John, too)

He does 3 of these 5....LOL

Barb