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Thread: How to leave NazNet

  1. #1
    Site Manager G R 'Scott' Cundiff's Avatar

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    How to leave NazNet

    Once in awhile I hear from someone who wants to "leave" NazNet. While I hate to see people go, I want to remind folks that "leaving" simply means one stops visiting the website. There's no need to announce the fact and there's no change in one's registration. They simply stop posting and reading here.

    Somewhere I have a shopping card for a department store, I guess you would say I am still a "registered" shopper there. I also have a few items I bought there. But, frankly, and not because I got mad or anything, I don't shop there anymore. That is true, not because I returned my card and "unregistered" or because I returned every item I ever bought there or because I went to the store and announced that I was leaving but simply because I don't go there anymore.

    That's what it's like to "leave" any online forum. You don't have to unregister and you don't have to remove every post you ever made.

    I hope everyone wants to be a part of this fellowship but want everyone to understand what it means to "leave."

    This is addressed in the NazNet FAQ here: http://www.naznet.com/community/faq....es#faq_leaving

  2. #2
    Senior Member Marsha Lynn's Avatar

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    Re: How to leave NazNet

    Quote Originally Posted by G R 'Scott' Cundiff View Post
    Once in awhile I hear from someone who wants to "leave" NazNet. While I hate to see people go, I want to remind folks that "leaving" simply means one stops visiting the website. There's no need to announce the fact and there's no change in one's registration. They simply stop posting and reading here.

    Somewhere I have a shopping card for a department store, I guess you would say I am still a "registered" shopper there. I also have a few items I bought there. But, frankly, and not because I got mad or anything, I don't shop there anymore. That is true, not because I returned my card and "unregistered" or because I returned every item I ever bought there or because I went to the store and announced that I was leaving but simply because I don't go there anymore.

    That's what it's like to "leave" any online forum. You don't have to unregister and you don't have to remove every post you ever made.

    I hope everyone wants to be a part of this fellowship but want everyone to understand what it means to "leave."

    This is addressed in the NazNet FAQ here: http://www.naznet.com/community/faq....es#faq_leaving
    Sorry, Scott. I may have prompted some announcements with my NazNet calling program. People are probably afraid someone will show up unannounced at their doorstep to make sure they're still alive and kicking if they quit coming around without notice.

    Do you suppose it's a personality thing? I've noticed at church gatherings that even when parting on good terms some people make the rounds and bid everyone farewell while others simply slip out unnoticed. I haven't decided yet which type I am. It might depend on both the gathering and which way the wind is blowing.

    Of course, for those who are fed up and departing on less than the best terms with others, you are surely trying to deprive them of the pleasure of saying, "That's it! You're a bunch of no-good heretics and I'm done with the whole lot! I'm taking my little red wagon and going home!"

    I mean, really, think about the contrast between quietly slinking away (and maybe having no one even notice you're gone) and making such a satisfying announcement and hearing all the "no, please don't go!" cries behind you as you slam the door.

    You're asking an awful lot of people.

    Marsha
    (still hopelessly addicted)
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  3. #3
    Senior Member Kyle Borger's Avatar

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    Re: How to leave NazNet

    I am not leaving Naznet, but I did just leave Sacramental Nazarenes. I did remove myself from the group so that I wouldn't get updates and one step a person here might have to take is to change their notification settings.

    I left quietly but secretly wanted to share why I left which is what some may want to do when they leave a group. The reason usually doesn't help the group but is supposed to make us feel better.

    As a leader of a church I do want to know why people leave, but sometimes it is better left alone. The problem is knowing when to stick your neck out. Somehow as pastors it seems like if anyone is upset we always make the wrong decision.
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  4. #4
    Senior Member Dan Henderson's Avatar

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    Re: How to leave NazNet

    Kyle,

    I've been FB stalking Sacramental Nazarenes. That group have been hijacked by a couple of people and its purpose is lost. Watching SN provides a good example of how the moderators add value here, even if we don't always agree with their decisions.
    Without education we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously. - Gilbert K. Chesterson
    Thanks G R 'Scott' Cundiff, Gina Stevenson, Jim Chabot - "thanks" for this post

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    Senior Member Rich Schmidt's Avatar

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    Re: How to leave NazNet

    Quote Originally Posted by Kyle Borger View Post
    I am not leaving Naznet, but I did just leave Sacramental Nazarenes. I did remove myself from the group so that I wouldn't get updates and one step a person here might have to take is to change their notification settings.
    Leaving a FB group is a bit different, as there are notifications, a membership roster, etc.

    Wait... I guess all those things apply here, too, don't they?

  6. #6
    Senior Member Cam Pence's Avatar

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    Re: How to leave NazNet

    I believe the Eagles said it best:

    "You can check out anytime you like....."
    “So there are no nontheologians; there is just good theology and bad theology.”- Will Willimon
    Laughing Paul DeBaufer, Gina Stevenson, Jim Chabot - thanks for this funny post

  7. #7
    Senior Member Dan Henderson's Avatar

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    Re: How to leave NazNet

    Quote Originally Posted by Cam Pence View Post
    I believe the Eagles said it best:

    "You can check out anytime you like....."
    "but you can never leave."
    Without education we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously. - Gilbert K. Chesterson
    Thanks Cam Pence, Susan Unger, Gina Stevenson, Jim Chabot - "thanks" for this post

  8. #8
    Senior Member Susan Unger's Avatar

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    Re: How to leave NazNet

    Quote Originally Posted by Dan Henderson View Post
    Watching SN provides a good example of how the moderators add value here, even if we don't always agree with their decisions.
    I also love how a post on Naznet is much more eyesight friendly. Staring at those tiny sentences has been driving me nuts.
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    Senior Member Paul DeBaufer's Avatar

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    Re: How to leave NazNet

    IF I were to leave NazNet I'd have to get the admins to delete my account because I am hopelessly addicted. Even when there were times when I told myself I was leaving, I stayed. I just couldn't possibly give it up, not for long.

    Last I'd looked at SN (prolly 3 years ago) they weren't doing much of anything at all.
    You can be right or you can be in relationship
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  10. #10
    Senior Member Cam Pence's Avatar

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    Re: How to leave NazNet

    Quote Originally Posted by Paul DeBaufer View Post
    IF I were to leave NazNet I'd have to get the admins to delete my account because I am hopelessly addicted. Even when there were times when I told myself I was leaving, I stayed. I just couldn't possibly give it up, not for long.

    Last I'd looked at SN (prolly 3 years ago) they weren't doing much of anything at all.
    This thread is giving me no end of ammunition

    “So there are no nontheologians; there is just good theology and bad theology.”- Will Willimon
    Laughing Paul DeBaufer, Gina Stevenson - thanks for this funny post

  11. #11
    Host Fun & Prayer forums Gina Stevenson's Avatar

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    Re: How to leave NazNet

    So, Cam, what movie, or program, is that? Is that the mafia-type program, Sopranos & that's one of them?
    Life beats down and crushes the soul and art reminds you that you have one. ~ Stella Adler
    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

    [COLOR=Indigo][FONT=Palatino Linotype]It takes a great deal of maturity to accept that trying to eliminate all risk eliminates life. ~ Susan Lapin ~
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  12. #12
    Senior Member Cam Pence's Avatar

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    Re: How to leave NazNet

    Quote Originally Posted by Gina Stevenson View Post
    So, Cam, what movie, or program, is that? Is that the mafia-type program, Sopranos & that's one of them?
    It almost kills me that you have to ask me that Gina, even though it was the worst of the 3
    “So there are no nontheologians; there is just good theology and bad theology.”- Will Willimon

  13. #13
    Host Fun & Prayer forums Gina Stevenson's Avatar

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    Re: How to leave NazNet

    So, I guessed right, or are you sad b/c I guessed wrong?

    "Worst of the three" what?
    Life beats down and crushes the soul and art reminds you that you have one. ~ Stella Adler
    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

    [COLOR=Indigo][FONT=Palatino Linotype]It takes a great deal of maturity to accept that trying to eliminate all risk eliminates life. ~ Susan Lapin ~
    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  14. #14
    Senior Member Cam Pence's Avatar

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    Re: How to leave NazNet

    I have you a helpful hint. I figured that might have been "an offer you couldn't refuse"
    “So there are no nontheologians; there is just good theology and bad theology.”- Will Willimon

  15. #15
    Host Fun & Prayer forums Gina Stevenson's Avatar

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    Re: How to leave NazNet

    Well, the guy was funny ... but I just didn't recognize him!

    And I don't recall anyone in the old Godfather movie ~~ the one I wished how many times since that I'd never seen ~~ being that funny, so ...........
    Life beats down and crushes the soul and art reminds you that you have one. ~ Stella Adler
    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

    [COLOR=Indigo][FONT=Palatino Linotype]It takes a great deal of maturity to accept that trying to eliminate all risk eliminates life. ~ Susan Lapin ~
    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  16. #16
    Full Member Barbara Moulton's Avatar

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    Re: How to leave NazNet

    Quote Originally Posted by Cam Pence View Post
    It almost kills me that you have to ask me that Gina, even though it was the worst of the 3
    The first will always be the best.
    Patience With Questions Blog
    Thanks Gina Stevenson, Cam Pence - "thanks" for this post

  17. #17
    Host Fun & Prayer forums Gina Stevenson's Avatar

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    How do our PHOTOS leave with us??

    Yes, there were many photos uploaded to here that were from a crashed PC.
    So, I went to where you would put a picture ON here (from within a post).
    Found only "upload," no download.


    ALSO, we now see only 20 pictures there, where it used to show a lot of them. We're things changed somewhere along the way where only the last 20 anyone uploaded remained, while it kicked out older ones??


    *OR* are they mostly hidden unless you search w/the correct name that was given to the picture when uploading long ago??


    (just trying to get some pics back) THANKS!
    Life beats down and crushes the soul and art reminds you that you have one. ~ Stella Adler
    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

    [COLOR=Indigo][FONT=Palatino Linotype]It takes a great deal of maturity to accept that trying to eliminate all risk eliminates life. ~ Susan Lapin ~
    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  18. #18
    Senior Member Marsha Lynn's Avatar

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    Re: How to leave NazNet

    Going back to the original thoughts in this thread, I find exit interviews valuable. Last time we were between pastors (23 years ago), a member a few years younger than I was told me she was leaving the church.
    1. It seemed like a good time to do it, since there was no pastor to regard her departure as a personal affront.
    2. She was interested in doing ministry, but was frustrated by the lack of money available for it. The culture of the church (then and now) is to personally fund whatever one wants to see done, within reason. Her personal resources couldn't keep up what she wanted to do, and she was tired of trying to pinch pennies.
    3. The Sunday dress code for women (then, but not now) required dresses. Her choices were to wear the one dress in her closet every week, invest in "Sunday go to meeting" clothes she would wear no other time, or feel under-dressed. Or go to another church with more reasonable standards.
    4. Her husband resisted attending. She thought he might be more likely to join her at a church where more men shared his interests.
    It was hard to see them go, but I greatly valued the insight she gave me as she did it. Much better than just leaving, in my view.

    The rest of the story is ... she did join another church and still attends there. Her husband went on a mission trip that changed his life. He got involved in the church and even served on the board of elders. And then, years later, walked away from the whole thing to take up with another woman. Not exactly the ending you want to hear, but I think the church move really was good for them. She leaned heavily on that church family when her marriage fell apart.

    Others have also told me why they have left our church -- sometimes as they go, other times when I see them later. And many have not. (We have a pretty constant stream of people in the front door and out the back door, so there are plenty of opportunities for exit interviews.) Any time they do, I find it useful, even if I have a different view of the offenses they describe. I would much rather someone tell me than just disappear. It may make a difference. It was after the interview I shared above that I started wearing pants to church more and more, even though I had plenty of skirts and felt more comfortable blending in. Women should NOT have to maintain a special church wardrobe, and somebody needed to take on the challenge of making change happen.

    Another time, a new believer left after they heard a rather critical analysis of an absent member of a group. Ouch! I was part of that exchange and as guilty as anyone. It was a painful, but valuable lesson. Even though it hurt, I'm glad the offended parties didn't just silently disappear with no explanation.

    Marsha
    Only the power of the Holy Spirit can get truth past the obvious.
    Thanks David Troxler, Rich Schmidt, Jim Chabot - "thanks" for this post

  19. #19
    Host Fun & Prayer forums Gina Stevenson's Avatar

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    Re: How to leave NazNet

    Marsha, good post re exit interviews.
    Wasn't meaning to mess up the thread, but its title came closest, once no more threads could start, to what I needed to ask!!
    Life beats down and crushes the soul and art reminds you that you have one. ~ Stella Adler
    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

    [COLOR=Indigo][FONT=Palatino Linotype]It takes a great deal of maturity to accept that trying to eliminate all risk eliminates life. ~ Susan Lapin ~
    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  20. #20
    Site Manager G R 'Scott' Cundiff's Avatar

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    Re: How do our PHOTOS leave with us??

    Quote Originally Posted by Gina Stevenson View Post
    Yes, there were many photos uploaded to here that were from a crashed PC.
    So, I went to where you would put a picture ON here (from within a post).
    Found only "upload," no download.


    ALSO, we now see only 20 pictures there, where it used to show a lot of them. We're things changed somewhere along the way where only the last 20 anyone uploaded remained, while it kicked out older ones??


    *OR* are they mostly hidden unless you search w/the correct name that was given to the picture when uploading long ago??


    (just trying to get some pics back) THANKS!
    Sorry, but I don't see any way it can be done.

  21. #21
    Host Fun & Prayer forums Gina Stevenson's Avatar

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    Re: How do our PHOTOS leave with us??

    Quote Originally Posted by G R 'Scott' Cundiff View Post
    Sorry, but I don't see any way it can be done.

    Oooh! Well, if I manage to save them after a fashion (such as managing ti get each to cover most of the screen & do it via screen shots, tho' lesser quality than originals), ARE there more than the 20 that seem visible now, or am I wasting my time looking for more than the 20 I now can see, tho' there have been more than that uploaded??

    Thanks!
    Life beats down and crushes the soul and art reminds you that you have one. ~ Stella Adler
    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

    [COLOR=Indigo][FONT=Palatino Linotype]It takes a great deal of maturity to accept that trying to eliminate all risk eliminates life. ~ Susan Lapin ~
    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  22. #22
    Senior Member Rich Schmidt's Avatar

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    Re: How do our PHOTOS leave with us??

    Quote Originally Posted by Gina Stevenson View Post
    Oooh! Well, if I manage to save them after a fashion (such as managing ti get each to cover most of the screen & do it via screen shots, tho' lesser quality than originals), ARE there more than the 20 that seem visible now, or am I wasting my time looking for more than the 20 I now can see, tho' there have been more than that uploaded??

    Thanks!
    Well, if you included all those images in posts, then you only have 12,198 posts to search through to find them all...
    Laughing Gina Stevenson, Jim Chabot, Susan Unger - thanks for this funny post

  23. #23
    Senior Member Rich Schmidt's Avatar

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    Re: How to leave NazNet

    Quote Originally Posted by Marsha Lynn View Post
    Going back to the original thoughts in this thread, I find exit interviews valuable. Last time we were between pastors (23 years ago), a member a few years younger than I was told me she was leaving the church.
    1. It seemed like a good time to do it, since there was no pastor to regard her departure as a personal affront.
    2. She was interested in doing ministry, but was frustrated by the lack of money available for it. The culture of the church (then and now) is to personally fund whatever one wants to see done, within reason. Her personal resources couldn't keep up what she wanted to do, and she was tired of trying to pinch pennies.
    3. The Sunday dress code for women (then, but not now) required dresses. Her choices were to wear the one dress in her closet every week, invest in "Sunday go to meeting" clothes she would wear no other time, or feel under-dressed. Or go to another church with more reasonable standards.
    4. Her husband resisted attending. She thought he might be more likely to join her at a church where more men shared his interests.
    It was hard to see them go, but I greatly valued the insight she gave me as she did it. Much better than just leaving, in my view.

    The rest of the story is ... she did join another church and still attends there. Her husband went on a mission trip that changed his life. He got involved in the church and even served on the board of elders. And then, years later, walked away from the whole thing to take up with another woman. Not exactly the ending you want to hear, but I think the church move really was good for them. She leaned heavily on that church family when her marriage fell apart.

    Others have also told me why they have left our church -- sometimes as they go, other times when I see them later. And many have not. (We have a pretty constant stream of people in the front door and out the back door, so there are plenty of opportunities for exit interviews.) Any time they do, I find it useful, even if I have a different view of the offenses they describe. I would much rather someone tell me than just disappear. It may make a difference. It was after the interview I shared above that I started wearing pants to church more and more, even though I had plenty of skirts and felt more comfortable blending in. Women should NOT have to maintain a special church wardrobe, and somebody needed to take on the challenge of making change happen.

    Another time, a new believer left after they heard a rather critical analysis of an absent member of a group. Ouch! I was part of that exchange and as guilty as anyone. It was a painful, but valuable lesson. Even though it hurt, I'm glad the offended parties didn't just silently disappear with no explanation.

    Marsha
    As a pastor, I agree with everything you've said here. We, too, have a steady influx of new people replacing the steady exit of people no longer participating in the life of the church. I'd love to know why each of those people are no longer participating.

    I guess I should just pick up the phone and find out, huh?
    Thanks Jim Chabot, Susan Unger - "thanks" for this post

  24. #24
    Host Fun & Prayer forums Gina Stevenson's Avatar

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    Re: How to leave NazNet

    Quote Originally Posted by Rich Schmidt View Post
    Well, if you included all those images in posts, then you only have 12,198 posts to search through to find them all...
    Yeah, right. 12,000+? Don't think so!

    But, in other words, you're telling me that there is only a small fraction accessible (unlike it used to be) of what we've posted when asking for images already here, huh? Well, if there was once upon a time a Lolos an arbitrary number that "arbitrary number" was much larger than the 20 I now see, b/c I'd have to look quite a bit to repost something old. Wonder when that was cut way down?

    So guess we have to figure a bunch of lost pictures, again, anyway.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    As for your calling & asking people re leaving, sometimes they may surprise you; learning you cared enough to even ask (tho' I know sometimes the one asking is at risk for hearing what they may not wish to hear), you may find one/some returning to where they know/feel someone actually noticed/cared! (if this at all happens, you'll somehow let us know over on FB, no?)
    Life beats down and crushes the soul and art reminds you that you have one. ~ Stella Adler
    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

    [COLOR=Indigo][FONT=Palatino Linotype]It takes a great deal of maturity to accept that trying to eliminate all risk eliminates life. ~ Susan Lapin ~
    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
    Thanks Susan Unger - "thanks" for this post

  25. #25
    Senior Member Marsha Lynn's Avatar

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    Re: How to leave NazNet

    Quote Originally Posted by Rich Schmidt View Post
    As a pastor, I agree with everything you've said here. We, too, have a steady influx of new people replacing the steady exit of people no longer participating in the life of the church. I'd love to know why each of those people are no longer participating.

    Still, if people are willing to share their hearts, it seems better to listen and try to understand than to suggest they just leave quietly.

    I guess I should just pick up the phone and find out, huh?
    If only it were that easy. Like I said, some people have told me why they left, others have not. Asking isn't what made the difference. You have to be a person with whom they feel they can be honest and share their hearts. Otherwise, you get evasive answers or just part of the story.
    Only the power of the Holy Spirit can get truth past the obvious.
    Thanks David Troxler, Jim Chabot - "thanks" for this post

  26. #26
    Senior Member Jim Chabot's Avatar

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    Re: How to leave NazNet

    Quote Originally Posted by Marsha Lynn View Post
    If only it were that easy. Like I said, some people have told me why they left, others have not. Asking isn't what made the difference. You have to be a person with whom they feel they can be honest and share their hearts. Otherwise, you get evasive answers or just part of the story.
    It's still well worth asking the questions though, sometimes you will get honesty, all the time you will be telling that person that they matter to you.

    I've been in both situations, I was honest when asked and I also said that I didn't harbor any hard feelings. A few years later, that particular Church was in a bind, they had installed an air conditioning system and didn't realize that 13K in electrical work wasn't part of the bid. I heard of their dilemma and offered to split the cost with them, they bought the materials and I supplied the labor, if I remember right the materials came to about 7K. The pastor said that he couldn't believe that I would help them, I reminded him that there were no hard feelings. He said that everyone says that and no one means it.

    I've also been in situations where no one ever came calling. Some may say that I'm being too harsh and some might say that I'm wrong in thinking this. But here it is, should no one ask, I am unequivocally convinced that they just plain don't care, or are glad that I'm no longer there.

    Even if we don't always get honest answers, we must let folks know that we actually care.
    -Jim

    To know and to serve God, of course, is why we're here, a clear truth, that, like the nose on your face, is near at hand and easily discernible but can make you dizzy if you try to focus on it hard. But a little faith will see you through.

    Garrison Keillor
    Thanks Marsha Lynn, Susan Unger - "thanks" for this post

  27. #27
    Senior Member Jim Chabot's Avatar

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    Re: How to leave NazNet

    Quote Originally Posted by Rich Schmidt View Post
    As a pastor, I agree with everything you've said here. We, too, have a steady influx of new people replacing the steady exit of people no longer participating in the life of the church. I'd love to know why each of those people are no longer participating.

    I guess I should just pick up the phone and find out, huh?
    You would be joining a minority of Churches that go after people and let them know that they have worth. You might even get some constructive criticism that could spark a change for the better. Hey, your Church might even grow faster! That's a bonus!

    To be honest Rich, I sense from your post that you are willing and thinking about doing just this, and I want to encourage you!
    -Jim

    To know and to serve God, of course, is why we're here, a clear truth, that, like the nose on your face, is near at hand and easily discernible but can make you dizzy if you try to focus on it hard. But a little faith will see you through.

    Garrison Keillor
    Thanks Rich Schmidt, Susan Unger - "thanks" for this post

  28. #28
    Senior Member Rich Schmidt's Avatar

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    Re: How to leave NazNet

    Quote Originally Posted by Jim Chabot View Post
    You would be joining a minority of Churches that go after people and let them know that they have worth. You might even get some constructive criticism that could spark a change for the better. Hey, your Church might even grow faster! That's a bonus!

    To be honest Rich, I sense from your post that you are willing and thinking about doing just this, and I want to encourage you!
    Thanks, Jim. The problem for me is that people rarely stop participating suddenly. They gradually ease out. So instead of showing up 3 or 4 Sundays/month, they start showing up twice a month. Then they miss 2-3 Sundays in a row, and the next time I see them, they have reasons why they'd been gone (travel, sports, busy, etc). This continues until suddenly I realize I haven't seen them in 2-3 months. And by then it's awkward.

    At that point, I should just accept the awkwardness and pick up the phone or reach out on FB or whatever. And sometimes I do... and usually the response is something about how busy they've been, and they feel bad for being gone so long, and they hope to get back soon, maybe this Sunday... and every now and then they actually do show up again. But they're out of the habit at that point, which makes it hard for them to jump back into it.

    Anyway... it's definitely something I need to get better at! Thanks for the encouragement!
    Thanks Marsha Lynn - "thanks" for this post

  29. #29
    Senior Member Kevin Wright's Avatar

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    Re: How do our PHOTOS leave with us??

    Quote Originally Posted by Gina Stevenson View Post
    Yes, there were many photos uploaded to here that were from a crashed PC.
    So, I went to where you would put a picture ON here (from within a post).
    Found only "upload," no download.


    ALSO, we now see only 20 pictures there, where it used to show a lot of them. We're things changed somewhere along the way where only the last 20 anyone uploaded remained, while it kicked out older ones??


    *OR* are they mostly hidden unless you search w/the correct name that was given to the picture when uploading long ago??


    (just trying to get some pics back) THANKS!
    You should be able to see all the pictures you have uploaded by clicking "Settings" in the top right corner. Then down the left side under "My Settings" and "Miscellaneous", click on "Attachments".

    If you click on the attachment name it will open the picture and then you can right-click on the picture to save it.
    Thanks Marsha Lynn, Steve Mershon - "thanks" for this post

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