Music is my primary point of connection to the church, so I've given it much thought over the years.
Here are two questions, and my suggested answer...open of course to discussion.
Question 1: Why do so many churches fight over music?
Theory: We have deep connections to music such that it intertwines with our sense of existence and cultural identity. It is not a huge leap to interpret a perceived assault on one's musical tastes as an affront to one's personal significance or even a threat to one's place in the world.
Under existential stress, humans face a fight of flight instinct. Leaders make matters worse by taking the attitude that people should just 'get over it'. Truly, it is easy to be flippant when one is the bearer of bad news.
Question 2: With all of the potential liabilities brought by music, why do churches almost universally have music as part of their program?
Theory: We have deep connections to music such that it intertwines with our sense of existence and identity. In the right hands, music is a powerful tool for connecting with people on multiple levels. Perhaps churches feel compelled to 'do' music because human existence is musically saturated. Maybe a church would be foolish to ignore such a powerful force.
It's also possible that churches love of tradition drives them to use music, although newer non-traditional expressions of the church seem at least as interested in music, if not moreso.
I wonder if any churches have tried to avoid music entirely, and if so, what their experience was.