One of the most important things for us to define, and one of the toughest for us to implement, is Love.
Our society has watered down Love extremely (it doesn't help that we use only one word for love, and probably should use "really like" instead of "love", i.e, love has become an adjective to show intensity rather than it's own concept) and made it very difficult to know what people are talking about when they say it.
Along with how we've come to misuse terms like "Tolerance", Love has become a concept which seems weak and watered down, something that asks us to just put up with things without any real involvement, to the degree that we tend to modify Love with things like "Holy", which would mean that "Holy" in and of itself has nothing to do with Love (Which is not a Wesleyan theological concept) in order to safeguard us from the excesses permitted under love. This despite the fact that our primary example for Love is Jesus Christ coming and dying for us on the cross.
My observation has been that in practice, we the church practice love as a sort of benevolent allowance until such a time as people are, in our eyes, "fully educated as to what is expected of them". Once this education, this transmission of knowledge has occurred, we are freed to end our permissiveness of whatever behavior "they should not be doing". At which point, we love them by rebuking them, and then refusing their presence until they act on the knowledge of "what they should not be doing" and bring their lives into line with that knowledge.
It is once again arguable that the example we see in Christ is that he brought overwhelming love and acceptance to those around Him trapped by sin, and in the midst of that incredible Grace, the Spirit was able to work Preveniently to change their lives.
If our congregations are, for the most part, going to practice exclusionary love based on knowledge unless those of the congregation keep their sin a secret, then in truth, we are practicing the opposite of what we see in Jesus, and we are actually hampering the Spirit in being able to work in the hearts of both ourselves and those around us.
It also seems that, aside from perhaps preaching on the topic of Love, we for the most part hope that the Holy Spirit gets ahold of people throughout the week and changes them so that they then Love others as they should. But if the overall general behaviour of our culture works against this, what is the likelihood that any more room is being made during the week?
Thus, the question becomes, what can or should the church as a culture be doing, what disciplines should it be encouraging, so that people love like Christ, rather than against what Christ wasn't?