Conversations

[Tim Bourland]

Conversations between Christ-followers can be difficult...especially when the topic is laden with emotion (as reflected by some of the responses in other threads). I know I've shut down my participation on some threads because of the response of others.

So, if we find it so hard to engage in healthy ways, what methods do you use to engage in conversation with the pre-Christians in your circle of influence?

[Cam Pence]

Personally, I think the challenge here is that it is words on a computer screen. I believe convo can get out of line much easier online then face to face. The sad truth is that I have never met any of you and,while I respect many of your opinions and insight, I feel much more comfortable being bold, confrontational, and (sadly) prideful on this forum then I ever would face to face. This is not always a bad thing as,for some, it is much easier to express themselves here, however, I believe that having the option of simply saying what you want and switching from Naznet to the calmer waters of Facebook (and thus pausing the conversation in the same way you would a video game) can become an easy temptation. My best friend Justin and I are in some ways are every bit as different as Jim and Ben (for example). We differ on issues like the authority of Scripture, our views on homosexual behavior (which I believe is sinful and him not), pacifism (which he strongly identifies with and me not so much), universalism (him identifying as a plausible universalist and me not). Pretty much every "hot topic" discussed here Justin and I discuss often in detail. However us discussing these things face to face creates an atmosphere which,while fostering honesty, makes it very difficult to pridefully try to stomp on each other as when we are done we cannot simply pause the other person and move on to greener pastures. No we must actually experience the effect our words will have on each other. Needless to say, though some of our conversations get passionate, they never end with prideful arrogance and hurt feelings. All this to say to say I don't think we can accuratley gauge how we will interact with pre Christians or post Christians or whatever based on how we interact on an nonlinear forum. I believe that the most heated disagreement here on Naznet would probably look very different face to face.

[Pete Vecchi]

I don't push it. I try to be myself, and let them be themselves. If the subject naturally comes up, I let them know about my profession (pastor), and/or church and/or faith in Jesus. I don't expect them to change their minds on the spot. I'd rather live by example. Sometimes I have to apologize to them for how they've been treated by other Christians, or how they've seen other Christians act or how they've seen other Christians treat others. As to where these people are in their lives, what vices they have, I try not to judge--so long as they are not injurious to me or my family (for instance, if they are violent, or threatening in some way). I like the saying I've seen on Facebook a few times lately that says something like, "Don't judge others because they sin differently than you do."

[Dave McClung]

Conversations between Christ-followers can be difficult...especially when the topic is laden with emotion (as reflected by some of the responses in other threads). I know I've shut down my participation on some threads because of the response of others.

So, if we find it so hard to engage in healthy ways, what methods do you use to engage in conversation with the pre-Christians in your circle of influence?

The key to engaging in a "safe" conversation is to pick a topic that you know will be of interest to the other person. I look to what a person is wearing or carrying for clues. Currently a discussion about electronics is usually a pretty safe topic -- "How do you like your Iphone?" "Which apps do you use the most?"

More often than not, I find myself discussing why I like the fivefinger shoes.

From time to time, I ask people about what is printed on their tee shirts. Often, people don't even know what it says. That gives the the opportunity to discuss my own philosophy -- "I don't provide free advertising for anyone."

[Craig Laughlin]

I have some rules

1. I don't talk about "insider" stuff with folks who are not followers of Jesus.
2. I don't expect people who are not followers of Jesus to live like they are. That is I don't expect them to have the same ethic as followers of Christ so it is not my place to call them to live like Jesus.
3. I don't engage in controversial conversations with unbelievers. (Politics being at the top of that list) There is nothing to be gained and a great deal to be lost.
4. I look for common ground and interests.
5. It's all about building relationship so that trumps everything. My single purpose is to be Jesus to them. I am a very poor reflection, but that is my task.

Just my thoughts.

[Doug Ward]

I have some rules

1. I don't talk about "insider" stuff with folks who are not followers of Jesus.
2. I don't expect people who are not followers of Jesus to live like they are. That is I don't expect them to have the same ethic as followers of Christ so it is not my place to call them to live like Jesus.
3. I don't engage in controversial conversations with unbelievers. (Politics being at the top of that list) There is nothing to be gained and a great deal to be lost.
4. I look for common ground and interests.
5. It's all about building relationship so that trumps everything. My single purpose is to be Jesus to them. I am a very poor reflection, but that is my task.

Just my thoughts.

See, I did it again. I typed up my nice response to this question and Craig already posted it. So delete, delete, delete - what he said.

[Doug Ward]

From time to time, I ask people about what is printed on their tee shirts. Often, people don't even know what it says. That gives the the opportunity to discuss my own philosophy -- "I don't provide free advertising for anyone."[/SIZE][/FONT]

This is another topic for a different thread, but I only have t-shirts with meaningful things on them, or places in which I would give free advertising. I almost use them as a discussion starter.

[Jeremy D. Scott]

I read a wonderful little book while on vacation called Living Gently in a Violent World by Jean Vanier and Stanley Hauerwas. I wholeheartedly recommend it. In it, I read this which reminded me of Naznet conversations:

"We always think we know what people are going to say before they say it, and we have a response to what we thought they would say in spite of what they may have actually said. To learn to listen well, it turns out, may require learning to be a gentle person." - (I don't remember who was writing at this point, but I imagine that it was Vanier.)

Conclusion: Be firstly a listener.

NTS President David Busic also once put on his Twitter the following well-known quote:
"You have two ears and one mouth. Use them proportionately."

[Craig Laughlin]

This is another topic for a different thread, but I only have t-shirts with meaningful things on them, or places in which I would give free advertising. I almost use them as a discussion starter.

Good idea. - It also reminded me of a story I heard a long time ago, don't know if it is true but let's not let that get in the way of a good story. - Supposedly one of our GS's is in a very poor part of Africa ordaining a large group of people. Some of the clothing they get is donated from the United States but is of course in English which none of them speak. As he is laying hands on the next young man in line he looks down, and the guy is wearing a (clearly) donated T-shirt from the United States. - It has blazoned across his chest an advertisement (In words not pictures) for an American beer company. ... The story says he ordained him and moved on. -- Only the English speakers knew what happened.

[Doug Ward]

Good idea. - It also reminded me of a story I heard a long time ago, don't know if it is true but let's not let that get in the way of a good story. - Supposedly one of our GS's is in a very poor part of Africa ordaining a large group of people. Some of the clothing they get is donated from the United States but is of course in English which none of them speak. As he is laying hands on the next young man in line he looks down, and the guy is wearing a (clearly) donated T-shirt from the United States. - It has blazoned across his chest an advertisement (In words not pictures) for an American beer company. ... The story says he ordained him and moved on. -- Only the English speakers knew what happened.

At my Ordination, my wife was wearing her "Pabst Blue Ribbon" T-shirt. Stowe was so holy, he did not know what it referenced.

[Gina Stevenson]

At my Ordination, my wife was wearing her "Pabst Blue Ribbon" T-shirt. Stowe was so holy, he did not know what it referenced.

And to anyone who would believe this, you could sell that Arizona ocean front property! LOL

[Doug Ward]

And to anyone who would believe this, you could sell that Arizona ocean front property! LOL

It is a great property. You would not believe how much beach there is - miles and miles of sand.

[Gina Stevenson]

It is a great property. You would not believe how much beach there is - miles and miles of sand.

Miles & miles, huh? No, I "wouldn't believe" it! Sounds like desert to me!

{Now, these last few posts are a nice, fun break from so much seriousness we see here in many threads. Both are needed ... providing a nice balance of "conversations," which is the serious but necessary topic which began this thread in the first place.}