- Looking
- Unto the
- Cross.....
A devotional for day 31 of
LENT
Wednesday, April 12
Many years ago, when I was even younger than today, faith to me was pretty much a mental assent. Faith was not something to be doubted, but not much of a living relation either. As sure as one plus one equals two, God's existence was considered to be a fact.
When reaching the age of fifteen, things started to change. It was a time when I started to think about many profound things about life such as it's meaning and all of that. And to be honest, I did not feel too well about myself. Each Sunday in the Dutch Reformed Church where I was a member the law was read in the form of the Ten commandments or the Two Great Commandments. In both cases I knew that I had fallen short of their demands. Even though the minister prayed a prayer for forgiveness and declared that God indeed would forgive us, I personally could not reach that point in my faith. The very fact that I knew that God wanted to forgive me only made matters worse. Because despite the fact that God loved me, I still failed Him! I would have understood God better if only He would have gotten angry at me.
In hindsight, my age and the phase I went through had a lot to do with my thoughts and feelings at that time. These feelings were very real to me at that point. I wondered where I could find consolation. Who would show me a way out of this maze was my question.
Not too many years later I came in contact with some people from a local Youth for Christ coffee bar. My parents had supported this organization and representatives from the group visited all of their supporters. Because of being very curious all of my life, I listened to what they had to tell. Of course they invited me to come to their meetings. To their surprise, I chose to attend the Tuesday night Bible study. I figured the Bible Study would be less dangerous for me and that hopefully they would not ask me about my faith.
Quite soon I felt very much at home at the Youth for Christ meetings. I attended the Friday night coffee bar and went to local and national meetings. I found myself absorbing their teachings.
I do not remember who the first person was who told me that Jesus died for all of my sins. Well, of course I knew that from my earlier experience in church. The person emphasized that this forgiveness included All of my sins both past and present. The blood is enough! ENOUGH! His loving sacrifice extends to all of my life from birth until death. Finally, it hit home. I came to realize that Jesus loved me just like I was. He not only paid for my past sins but for my future as well! There will never be a moment when he says to Hans "you have done too much for me to forgive." He knows me through and through including my failures, my mistakes, my anger, and my sins. He knows everything!
From that moment on, I knew I had peace with God. Indeed, if I confess my sins, he would not only be so merciful and faithful to forgive, He would be faithful and just to do just that. After all of these years, I still do not understand this love. Through time, God is working in my life and I learn to see who I really am. Slowly, often painfully, the Light starts to shine in dark places that I would rather hide. However the Light is a Light of love. There is no more doubt in my mind about that fact.
Some twenty-two years ago someone opened my eyes about Jesus. Someone really spread "The Fragrance of the Knowledge of Him". I do not even remember who it was. I guess it does not matter. What does matter is that you and I need to live like that person and spread the fragrance of God. The knowing about this fragrance includes a deep and intense knowledge about our suffering and dying Lord. And even more we should remember His resurrection power! Most of all we must know and experience His everlasting love for all of us in that while we were sinners He died for us and loves us still. Even me!
Hans Deventer
Dordrecht, The Netherlands
A Prayer
Lord Jesus, Master, Suffering Servant, risen Lord our understanding is at a loss. Our minds incapable of grasping your divine love. But our heart is so full of gratitude that words fail completely. Let there be silence ..................... and when in the silence, You come to us, we pray that You fill us anew with your love....faithfulness and....strength so that we may follow in your footsteps daily by taking up your cross and spread the fragrance among the nations.
- Here I am. Send me.
Amen
[Psalm 119:145-176] [Exodus 1:8-24] [II Cor. 2:14-3:6] [Mark 10:1-16]
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Edited: Feb. 25, 6:15 a.m.
Page designed by: Cecil Wallace
Prayer by: Hans Deventer
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